"I don't buy Rolls-Royce, is it because of the purchase restriction?"
In the past week, the three-child policy has been like a depth bomb, bursting out countless splashes of saliva. The young people who oscillated between lying flat and trying to cope with this had a strong stress reaction, as if seeing the second half of their lives cut off.
Of course, contemporary Chinese youth are not prejudiced against the third child. To be precise, we are just daunting about having children.
In contemporary society, people's life pressure is increasing, and the cost of raising children is also getting higher and higher. /"Kim Ji-young, born in 1982"
You see, even if you think of yourself as a new middle class that can cope with the cost of raising a baby, taking a baby is still a thankless effort:
Spend more time with the accompaniment, teachers want parents to change homework, the company is afraid that you will take maternity leave, full-time with the baby without self... In order to cultivate an excellent socialist successor, you must spend a lot of effort, but also strictly prevent the playthings from losing their minds, how can you not be anxious to the point of baldness?
There is no way, parents do not need to train to work, we are actually with the bear children to feel the stones to cross the river. People are always used to resisting the unknown.
Other people's parents are the best at teaching by example
When she went to school, Ma Lanhua was a typical "other person's child". Undergraduate and her husband studied in the Department of Economics and Management of Tsinghua University, and after four years, they were guaranteed by this major, and then became a promising investment manager, and the gold content of this growth path can beat many peers in seconds.
After giving birth to a baby, this bully accidentally became "someone else's mother".
Ma Lanhua's two children, the older brother Mao Zhu is three years old this year, and the younger sister Mao Zhu is two years old. On Douyin, some netizens have seen Mao Sung recite ancient poems including "Mulan Ci", and can't help but sigh: "I am no better than a three-year-old child." ”
Ma Lanhua's son Mao Zhu recited the Mulan Ci. /TikTok
Such "small achievements" are naturally inseparable from the emphasis on self-discipline in family education.
Many years ago, Ma Lanhua's mother, as a middle school teacher, took the initiative to apply for deferred retirement for students. This very strong sense of self-discipline and responsibility has subtly influenced Ma Lanhua, allowing her to believe in the value of delayed gratification from an early age.
Today, the maran flower has also become a role model for children.
From the beginning of her motherhood, Ma Lanhua plunged into a huge amount of parenting knowledge, studying scientific recipes and educational methods. With a strong internal drive, Ma Lanhua quickly became an "expert", and even shared her parenting experience on Douyin as "Tsinghua Mother Ma Lanhua", providing "reference homework" for many young parents.
Tsinghua mother Ma Lanhua shared her parenting experience.
Therefore, the children of Tsinghua parents are not born "children of other people's families". In the final analysis, Ma Lanhua has only cultivated herself into "someone else's parent", doing her best to give her children scientific and meticulous growth.
In a video with more than 1.3 million likes, Ma Lanhua once shared the story of Mao Shoot pretending to be sick and not wanting to go to school. In the face of this problem that caused many parents a headache, Ma Lanhua did not get angry, but planned to coax the child to lie in bed and rest, and when she was busy with work, she would take him to the hospital. Hearing this, the child gradually realized that the atmosphere was wrong, and the jokes did not work, so he had to obediently admit his mistake to her - he was pretending to be sick and wanted to obediently go to kindergarten.
Ma Lanhua, a tsinghua mother, tells you what to do if your child does not go to kindergarten. /TikTok
Ma Lanhua said that the school spirit of Tsinghua University is "deeds speak louder than words", so that children understand that lying costs themselves, which is far more useful than telling him the truth.
A fan once left a message: "It turns out that the children of Tsinghua parents will also have times when they don't like to learn." At that time, because his bear children did not like to learn, the young father was quite helpless. After watching Ma Lanhua's video, he suddenly realized that in fact, every child may have the same problem, and what is more tested at this time is the patience and confidence of parents.
The bad example you think is a good parent without a generation gap
Like Ma Lanhua, Zhang Xin, a psychology professor at Peking University, is also "giving lessons" to other parents.
For example, in the face of the age-old problem of "what to do if children lie", Zhang Xin's advice to netizens for help is hard-core psychological knowledge: "Lying must first distinguish between age groups, three- and four-year-old children lie, indicating that their cognition is growing, which is a good thing; teenage teenagers lie, especially self-interested lying behavior, they must consider using punishment to deal with it." ”
More than two months ago, Zhang Xin and his wife Xia Bailu, two "ashes-level" Douyin enthusiasts, operated the duo's Douyin number "Dr Xin Lixue" for the first time.
In the video, the young professor who calls himself the "Second Marshal of The Heart Academy of Peking University" often wears short sleeves and personally goes to battle, with his elbows on the table, calmly analyzing various psychological problems: "What do others criticize your children in front of you", "Can girls take the initiative", "What does it mean to realize yourself"...
These three questions correspond to the three major psychological topics that the public is most concerned about: parenting, feelings, and personal. The former received the most views, likes and attention.
Professor Zhang Xin of Peking University analyzed for everyone: What should someone do if someone criticizes your child in front of you? /TikTok
The strange thing is that if "Peking University professors' free parenting sharing" will be regarded as a high-quality resource by parents, "Peking University professors' free parenting sharing on Douyin" may be considered unprofessional.
At the beginning of 2019, Zhang Xin received a criticism message because of a short video that he "participated in". In the eyes of the other party, the professor of Peking University is playing a short video, which is setting a bad example.
What is admirable is that Zhang Xin showed the dignity of an intellectual, and specially wrote a long article to refute this reader in a reasonable way. In Zhang Xin's view, whenever something new appears, there will always be people who question or even spit on it. Short videos are new information carriers, there is no right or wrong in itself, the key lies in how people use them.
There is no doubt that this statement is of course "practiced".
In fact, including his 6-year-old son, Zhang Xin's family of three is engaged in learning on Douyin. In the neighborhood, my son often asks unexpected scientific questions like " Do you know how that fusion happened?" These questions, which even adults may not know how to answer, have gradually changed the prejudice of the neighborhood on short video platforms.
Zhang Xin's son used what he learned on Douyin to modulate non-Newtonian fluids.
It seems that adults who naturally resist the new are most likely to have a generation gap with their children.
In Zhang Xin's view, parents strictly control their children's mobile phones, which is more likely to be counterproductive. He believes that children's addiction to something is often the external manifestation of bad parent-child relationship and unhealthy personality, rather than internal reasons, and behind children's addiction to electronic products is the long-term lack of companionship from parents.
Bias aside, it can give you more answers
On the contrary, Zhang Xin and his wife never objected to their son's use of electronic products, and even enjoyed learning with their children in the Douyin youth mode.
From another point of view, since young parents can learn the Parenting Sutra on TikTok, why can't children learn in the same way under the guidance of words and deeds?
What's more, as Xia Bailu said, the vibrato youth model has a lot of natural science popular science content, and children will learn more actively and faster with vibrato.
In this mode, Douyin users will not be able to open and watch live broadcasts, recharge and tip, and even set a disabled time. However, this does not mean that children have to learn boringly on TikTok.
In fact, the youth model of Douyin has long been built into a "treasure of knowledge", the content is mainly based on pan-knowledge, heavy education, light entertainment content, but also has a wealth of animation and documentary content, by no means an "online cram school".
According to the statistics of the "Douyin Youth Data Report", the top 10 favorite content of teenagers on Douyin are animation, painting and handicraft, toys, talents, science science, animals and plants, humanities science, children's songs, English enlightenment and safety education.
As children get older, the "amount of knowledge" of the content they see is also getting bigger and bigger, such as 5-year-old Meng Bao likes to watch animation, 8-year-old children like to watch painting and handicrafts, and 14-year-old teenagers love science popularization.
The popular science content on Douyin has been "stamped and certified" by teachers.
An Senyao, a popular science creator with 3.18 million fans, receives "ventilation messages" from middle school students from time to time: "Our teacher has broadcast your geography class again today!" Interestingly, the teachers even practiced it, often asking for an authorization from Anson Yao in the comments section to play his videos in class.
No way, the choreographer of "China National Geographic" loved geography from childhood to adulthood, only read four years in elementary school to go to junior high school, but the university chose the design major of Beijing University of Chemical Technology, and then went to Japan to study ancient architecture at the age of 19, living from a prodigy to a "humanoid encyclopedia".
So, it's hard to see someone like that in reality:
Not only can we talk about "why there are always earthquakes in the southwest region", but also we can understand the "cultivation process of hybrid rice", and even the trivial knowledge points of "how to pronounce middle Chinese in the Tang Dynasty" can be easily grasped.
Popular science creator An Sen Yao revealed: What did the Tang Dynasty people say? /TikTok
In this industry, Anson Yao positions himself as a natural disseminator of knowledge.
To this end, Anson Yao also set a small goal for himself. He hopes that his videos can cover more areas in the future, preferably including "everything before entering the university" and getting closer to students.
Of course, The popularity of Anson Yao is also a result of adapting to the needs of teenagers. Unlike many parents who mistakenly believe that "addicted to entertainment", among the 10 creators of Douyin who are most loved by teenagers, popular science authors account for up to 80%.
These popular science authors are the favorite of Zhang Xin's children, and with this knowledge, children even "dominate" the entire community. And Zhang Xin and his wife are also willing to accompany their children to learn knowledge and do handicrafts, and are often confused by the children's newly learned knowledge.
For parenting, Zhang Xin said in his video that many times parents' anxiety is that parents are out of sync with their children's growth. He believes that the child is your connection to this ever-changing world, and through the growth of the child, parents should also grow together.
Zhang Xin and Ma Lanhua also used their stories to show more people on Douyin that a heart that loves children, scientific parenting knowledge, and high-quality parent-child companionship are the best parenting treasures; at the same time, Douyin can also be a "magic weapon" for parents to better accompany and educate their children.
✎ Author | DR
✎ Typography | Zhen rice grains
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