The source of the problem is that once I watched a movie about Dharma Guru, and one of the scenes is that His Holiness Prajnaparamita, the twenty-seventh generation of Indian Zen Buddhism, saw that the young Dharma had "wisdom roots" and used: "Who was I who was not born to me, who was I when I was born?" The question inspired him. Therefore, this question became the reason for Dharma Guru's renunciation. I was impressed by the plot, so I often think about this question.
But I am not a buddhist disciple, and I cannot grasp the impression and concept of "true self" in the Buddhist realm. But I often wonder, where can I find, see, and realize the true "self" or "self"?
What others see is my body when I am dressed; I am a "son" in the eyes of my parents, the successor of their family and career; the "I" in the eyes of children is a "father" who loves them, manages them, and can beat them; I am a "husband" in the eyes of wives; "I" in the eyes of friends is my character and history; I am a subordinate who can obey in the eyes of leaders; I am "acting the same, working together" in the eyes of colleagues; people who are in charge of the same affairs and work together. ”
Walking on the street I am a pedestrian; when I enter a restaurant, shopping mall and other places I am a consumer; when I get on a car, train, plane, I am a passenger; when I enter a hospital, I am a patient; I am a friend in the eyes of a good person; I am a victim in the eyes of a bad person; I am a "fool" in the eyes of a villain; I am one of the targets of crime in the eyes of a liar...
Birds in the wild saw me walking into them and flew away as a "dangerer"; my dog saw me running fast because I was one of its "masters"; other people's dogs saw me walking into its sphere of influence and grinned and treated me as an "enemy" as a warning; if I went into the jungle, the ferocious beasts would treat me as prey and pounce on me...
What about here? My name is not, that is the Chinese character code that I can say in social groups that can be surnamed, ethnic, and distinguish individuals; my id card number is not, that is the number code of citizenship given to me by the state; I am not in the photo, that is my image; not in the mirror, that is my mirror image; not in the video recorder, it is the continuous playback of my photos; I can only see most of my body with my own eyes, and it is impossible to see all of myself with my own eyes.
But I can really feel my presence: open my eyes, I see, feel, and hear everything in the world that people can reach; close my eyes, hold my breath, plug my ears, and I can still be aware of my existence. Sleeping at night, sleeping, I am in the dream, I can also feel me, when I wake up, I think, awake me and dream me, which is the real self?
In my infancy I was a baby in my mother's arms; when I was a child, I was a young child; when I was a teenager, I was a reckless "stunned youth"; when I was a young man, I was an "adult" who was moving toward maturity; in middle age I was a weight-bearing, sophisticated, and calm "sir"; in old age I was a "pioneer" who "waited for death"... Which age group can I represent?
I am matter in the space-time world, and I am in the material element that I am conscious and aware of the "self" carbohydrates. In the long river of human history, I am a drop in the sea of "sending ephemera to heaven and earth"; I am a grain of dust in the universe; I am a small person who is "small and cannot be smaller" among the more than 5 billion people on the earth, and I am also a person who "has a Chinese heart" in the great motherland; standing on the ground, with my head above the sky, and stepping on the earth, I am also one of the people in the "spirit of all things" between heaven and earth, I also have the Three Treasures: "Spirit God", but if a bullet is shot into my heart, I will become a corpse; catch up with the "atomic bomb" developed by mankind. Explode, I will "return to dust". Clever you tell me, where am I and what am I?