Go to self-grasping, get rid of prejudice, and all things reach the heart.
Author: Insight ADC
In our lives, there are some people who will always make you feel powerless to "show meet soldiers".
You talk to him about hard work, he tells you about origin; you talk to him about strength, and he talks to you about luck.
You talk to him about feelings, he reasons for you; you tell him facts, and he talks to you about individual cases.
This is what we commonly call the bar essence.
Argue with the bar, nine times out of ten lose.
It's not that you can't argue.
Rather, when two people have different levels of cognition, the communication information is not on the same channel.
I tell three little stories.
01
In a slum in Africa, a policeman killed a mad dog.
Witnesses told a local resident about the incident.
"The police killed...."
As soon as the witness spoke the first half of his sentence, the man interrupted him and asked, "Did the police kill someone?" Who gave them the power? Can the police do whatever they want? ”
The witness then said, "It was a dog that was killed. ”
The man shouted angrily, "What happened to the dog?" Isn't a dog life? When a living life disappears, is no one responsible? ”
Witnesses quickly explained: "That's a mad dog." ”
The man still did not forgive: "Is it not that the mad dog is judged by you?" Has it been identified? Is the identification procedure legal? Isn't there any other shady scene here? ”
The voice of the witness became quieter and smaller: "At that time, it was chasing passers-by and biting, I saw it with my own eyes, and no one provoked it!" ”
The man still did not want to show weakness: "Is it necessary to see it as true?" Don't you feel weird? Is there less shadiness in the country? ”
In the end, the witness was speechless and had to turn away.
The man was triumphant and was swinging and preparing to leave, but accidentally stepped on the tail of a wild dog sleeping on the side of the road.
In a panic, the wild dog got up and bit him.
While enduring the pain, he scolded: "Whose mad dog bites people indiscriminately, and no one will take care of it?" What is wrong with this society? ”
02
An old professor walked with his students on the road, intending to buy a fish by the way.
The professor stayed in front of the stall, repeatedly picked, and chose a Qingjiang fish with fewer spines.
When the fishmonger saw it, he said, "You can't see it, this fish is not delicious, do you want to change it?" ”
The old professor smiled and replied, "No, that's it." ”
The fishmonger laughed: "You readers, who know a few big words and read a few books, feel that you know everything, but you can buy fish, and you have to listen to me." ”
The students on the side could not look at it, so they went up to argue with it, and the two sides were not convinced, and the quarrel became louder and louder.
The professor quickly pulled the student away.
The student asked incomprehensibly, "That fishmonger humiliated our reader so much, aren't you angry teacher?" ”
The professor smiled slightly and said, "I can understand him." Selling fish to know which fish are delicious is enough, he does not have to understand how many kinds of fish in the world, which fish have fewer bones, more suitable for the elderly. ”
03
The third story takes place with a famous painter in France.
When the painter was on vacation in Switzerland, he often carried the drawing board around to sketch.
One day, when he was on the shores of Lake Geneva, he had just collected the beautiful scenery on both sides of the painting when three female tourists came next to him.
As they walked and talked, they complained about the surrounding scenery: "This place is not as beautiful as imagined..."
The sound gradually approached, and as they passed by the painter, they began to point fingers at his paintings.
"It's not well painted here, it's obviously a very tall tree, you paint it so crookedly;
The color there is not right, such a blue sky, you painted not blue at all;
There's something you didn't even draw in, you see, there's a couple of people missing..."
The painter did not refute it, always smiling, and slightly modified his paintings according to their suggestions.
The next day, he went to another place to sketch and met the three ladies again.
The ladies asked him, "Sir, we have heard that the great painter Belloni is in Switzerland and would like to visit him, you should know where he lives, right?" ”
The painter bowed slightly and said politely, "Don't dare to be, I am Beroni." ”
04
Why tell these three stories?
Because I found that a person's attitude in the face of doubt depends on his level of cognition.
People with low cognitive level always like to compete for victory and defeat on their tongues and subconsciously refute them.
People with high cognitive levels stand tall, see far, and can tolerate and absorb different voices.
The writer Mr. Modo divides cognition into three levels.
The first layer, monistic thinking cognition.
People with low cognition are all one-line thinking, often self-centered, unable to be compatible with external concepts, and go all the way to the end.
Like the trolls in the first story, they are keyboard men on the Internet and the levers in life.
No matter what you say, their first instinct is to argue.
Most people at this cognitive level are self-righteous, stubborn, and like to show their sense of existence and superiority by raising the bar.
Even if it is a given fact, they will speak eloquently to win the victory of words.
There is a term in psychology called the "tempering effect", which refers to the fact that when a person encounters a fact that contradicts his own cognition, he often refuses to accept this fact and reinforces his original position.
The second layer, dualistic thinking cognition.
People with dualistic thinking cognition have the basic ability to distinguish things, have rationality and empathy, and can think from the perspective of the other party.
Like the old professor in the second story.
The fishmonger makes a mocking remark, but he thinks from the perspective of others and understands the limitations of each person.
People with dualistic thinking cognition are often able to look at problems dialectically when they hear different voices.
They never waste time on meaningless justifications, and even if they disagree with others, they tolerate and respect them.
The third layer is multi-thinking cognition.
People with multiple thinking and cognition have their own "filtration and purification system".
Like the painter Belloni in the third story, in the face of the amateur guidance of the three ladies, instead of being proud of his professionalism, he humbly listens to their opinions.
People with multiple thinking and cognition can not only be compatible with different points of view, but also take the essence of it and remove its dross, absorbing useful information from various voices.
05
The well-known blogger @Wuman Barang once proposed a "cognitive funnel model".
Human cognition, like a huge sinkhole, is arranged in a funnel shape.
The further down you go, the less you see, and you often feel social injustice, extreme emotions, anger at things, and stubbornness.
The more you go up, the more you see, the more you feel the beauty of the world, the more positive energy you absorb, you know how to think differently, and you are compatible with the downwards.
The Buddhists have clouds: "Go to self-grasping, remove prejudice, and all things reach the heart, immeasurable and boundless." ”
Truly good people never become stubborn and refuse to accept information from the outside world.
Two days ago, the founder of The Philosophy Life Network said to me:
"Man must have a self, and he must continue to evolve.
Having a self is an affirmation of the self, while evolution is a denial of the self. ”
If a person is permanently blocked from external information, he cannot form a new cognition.
Without new cognition, there can be no self-denial, and the evolution of life will stop.
Therefore, the first step in cognitive upgrading is to open your ears, open your mind, and open your eyes to see the world.
When you put aside your own opinions and no longer focus on self-experience, then the knowledge of your predecessors and the encounters of those around you will be the channels through which you can obtain valuable information.
Like it, be more tolerant in the future, raise the bar less, receive it in advance, and then introspect it, and form your own pluralistic thinking and cognition.