01.
The beginning of March.
Actor Wang Yanlin was photographed by the media having a dinner with a woman and behaving intimately.
Soon after the news was exposed, Wang Yanlin himself generously admitted his relationship on Weibo:
"The name engraved in my heart, missed for a while, can not miss a lifetime."
The name engraved in his heart was Adjani.
Like Wang Yanlin, she is an actress, and at the same time, she is also Wang Yanlin's college classmate.
"All encounters in the world are reunions after a long absence."
It was Wang Yanlin and Ai Jiani who were talking.
The clock turned, and it was May 20.
On this day full of love, Wang Yanlin also added a fire called "marriage" to his love: he was married, and the object was still the same her.
After going around for so many years, the woman who had been passionately in love and sincerely proposed marriage in her youth had finally become his bride, his pillow person.
This scene corresponds to a line in the movie "A Generation of Grandmasters":
"If you don't forget it, there will be an echo."
The lovers who have been missed in those years, as long as the fate is still there, as long as the miss is still there, will surely appear in your life again when the next time comes.
However, what Wang Yanlin did not expect was that it was not only him who could not forget, but also some outsiders.
In the comment section of #Wang Yanlin's official marriage, many people mentioned Wang Yanlin's ex-girlfriend, Yu Lang.
Two years ago, Wang Yanlin was photographed by the media and the actor Yu Lang's ten fingers were clasped, intimate shopping, and the love affair was about to come out.
Originally, with Wang Yanlin's good passer-by popularity, this should have been a deeply blessed relationship, but because of the woman's tired "previous crimes", most netizens were not optimistic about this relationship.
And two years later, as netizens thought, he married someone else, and she became an ex, appearing on every occasion related to his relationship.
In this regard, many netizens said:
"Since it's an ex, don't you mention it on the day of people's official announcements?"
"Qualified exs should be like dead."
“......”
The so-called predecessor,
When it is love, go to the soup and go to the fire.
When you don't love, you can't even mention the name.
02.
After the movie "Your Wedding" was released, someone posted this sentence in the circle of friends:
"If you want to get back together with your ex, then you take him to the movie."
yes.
It's a film dedicated to first love, but also to an ex.
In the movie, Zhou Xiaoqi, played by Xu Guanghan, was a boy who only knew how to fight and did nothing before he met You Yongci, played by Zhang Ruonan.
After meeting You Yongci, he changed.
As Truman Capote wrote in "Other Voices, Other Rooms":
"The people who are truly loved are the blooming lilacs in the eyes of the lover, the boat fishing fire, the school bells, the landscape scenery, the unforgettable conversations, the friends, the children's Sundays, the fading sounds, the most beloved clothes, autumn and all seasons."
All in all, in Zhou Xiaoqi's view, everything beautiful should be owned by You Yongci.
So, he spent 15 years to love this person, for her, to make himself from a boy to a man:
You Yongci wants to skip class, and he accompanies him;
You Yongci is bullied, and he protects her;
You Yongci hopes that he will get better, he studies hard and is admitted to the same university;
......
If time can represent anything, You Yongci's life, Zhou Xiaoqi will not be absent.
Unfortunately, time doesn't mean anything.
"Finally, I saw that you were wearing the kind of wedding dress you wanted, and you took the bouquet of flowers in your right hand, and from now on he protected you and took care of you, no matter how poor or rich you were, no matter whether you were old or sick."
Once, the wedding dress that you thought about for a long time finally put on, even if it is not for me, I bless you.
Because I know very well that there is more than one definition of love, and if you love, you will no longer regret it.
At this point, if this story is told, there are only two people from beginning to end.
There is no denying that it is beautiful.
Anyway, there is an innocent third person.
Zhou Xiaoqi had a relationship after breaking up with You Yongci.
Even so, he could not let go of You Yongci, who had become an ex, and in the case of having a girlfriend, he still wanted to kiss You Yongci.
Zhou Xiaoqi's behavior has deeply loved his predecessor and embarrassed the current.
You know, the greatness of love lies in love itself.
It is not about the sacrifice of others, the foil of others, and the fulfillment of others.
Remember
Don't let the incumbent "pay" for the ex's love.
Respecting him is also respecting yourself.
03.
So, who made the existence of the ex taboo?
It is probably those who love their ex in the name of love, but treat the incumbent in the name of hurt.
In "The Courage to Be Hated", it is said:
"It is not our past experiences that determine ourselves, but the meaning we ourselves give to experiences."
Just like the predecessor.
TA is just an experience, TA is not wrong.
What's wrong is the meaning you gave to your ex.
Your care, your repeated mentions, and your inability to let go of your feelings have made the ex a glare, while also putting the incumbent in an awkward position.
You have to understand that people have a past, and people have a future.
"Those who regret missing the sunset and stop will eventually miss the sea of stars"
The predecessor is the sunset, the past tense.
Only the present is the sea of stars that you will pursue all your life.
Some time ago, a male reader submitted an article to me.
The reader's name is Xu Chen, and he told me that before marrying his current wife, he had a "white moonlight" and was also his ex.
In the third year of high school, the two were at the same table without talking.
In the day and night together, the two young souls, as expected, developed feelings.
Love at that time was simple.
Meet at the library on weekends to do homework, occasionally visit the bookstore, go to a movie, accidentally bump into an arm while sitting together... Both hearts can throbb.
However, the good times did not last long.
After reaching the "watershed" of graduation, the two eventually separated.
Later, Xu Chen also had girlfriends, but none of them could give him similar throbbing again.
After that, for many years, Xu Chen never fell in love.
And just when he thought that the heartbeat of his youth would occupy the heartbeat of his life, he met his current wife.
Her appearance has made his life look new, no longer leaving the shadow of the past.
As the Japanese drama Quartet says:
"The moment I fell in love with him, people moved from the past to the future."
After falling in love with her, Xu Chen sealed the past and his predecessor one by one.
He doesn't deny their existence, but he doesn't care about their existence anymore.
Then, they become a "resume" of the past, but they can no longer determine the brilliant life of the future.
04.
The greatest common problem of mankind lies in the deification of the past.
And the reason why the past can be deified is that it is gone forever.
It's like those exs who don't get it, always in your blood.
But, if you can't forget, don't get it, and can't go back, it must be what you want?
As the song goes:
"Maybe I like to miss you more than I see you, maybe I like to imagine you more than I get you"
Oh man.
It is always a mistake to miss it, as a like, as a cinnabar mole.
Therefore, in order not to waste time and fail people with hearts, I hope that everyone who sees this article can be like Haizi said in "Happy Day":
"I love the new day infinitely, today's sun, today's horse, today's catalpa tree. Make me healthy, rich, and have a lifetime. From dawn to dusk, the sun is shining, more than all the poetry of the past. ”
Yesterday is not reproducible.
But today, day by day is better than yesterday.