Disclaimer: This article is written in combination with personal opinions, please be aware!
The Edge of Love and Pain: The Difficulty of Parent-Child Communication in the Modern Family
In this fast-paced era, the family, which should be the warmest shelter from the wind, often evolves into a place where emotional conflict occurs. Why do parents and children, as the two most intimate characters in the world, always wander at the junction of love and pain? This article will delve into this phenomenon and provide unique insights.
"Why are you so stupid?" "How did I give birth to you this scourge?" Do you feel familiar with these words, they are like sharp knives that stab at children's self-esteem again and again, and the psychologist Marshall Luxemburg once warned us that verbal violence can cause pain. And this pain often comes from the people closest to them - parents. Verbal violence not only destroys children's self-confidence, but is also an invisible killer of family harmony.
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The creditor mentality and strong desire to control are another culprit who destroys the parent-child relationship. In the family search show "Waiting for You", a pair of elderly people were finally blocked by their son due to excessive supervision and stick education. This is not only a family tragedy, but also a warning to all parents: excessive control will make children feel suffocated and even choose to flee.
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The requirements are too high and extremely harsh, which is one of the reasons for the tension in the parent-child relationship. Research in the Psychological Bulletin shows that parental expectations and criticisms are related to perfectionism, and at the same time, they are also related to the pursuit of perfection in society. Such high expectations not only increase the psychological pressure of children, but also may lead to depression and anxiety.
Bitter performances, moral kidnapping, are another kind of hidden harm. Some parents try to make their children feel guilty by showing their hard work. However, this method cannot be exchanged for the child's gratitude, but may make the child feel unhappy.
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"No hard food", causing trouble to children, is the common mentality of the older generation, but in today's material abundance, this concept has become obsolete, a grandmother who is nearly eighty years old is very wise, she believes that enjoying life is the meaning of longevity. This change in concept not only makes the elderly themselves happy, but also makes their children feel at ease.
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Behind these phenomena, there is a profound question: how should the relationship between parents and children be positioned? Children are not appendages of their parents, and parents are not the masters of their children. Love needs moderation; The way of love needs to be right. Only well-cared feelings can last long.
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In this era of information explosion, we do not lack reason, but action. Parents should learn to listen, respect their children's independence, encourage their growth, understand their emotions, share the joy of life with them, and grow together. Such a family can become a real safe haven.
At the end of the article, I would like to say that family harmony is not an unattainable dream. All it needs is mutual understanding and respect between parents and children. May we all find the way to a harmonious family on the edge of love and pain.
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