When you reach a certain age, there are more stories of drinking, but there are fewer friends who drink.
In his twenties, I believe that the end of the world mentioned in the book will not meet, but after going around and around, life will eventually fall to the eight words "there is no feast in the world".
Yes, young people only like to be full of friends, and they come like clouds, and middle-aged people realize that it is the norm to make friends.
It turns out that whether it is a playmate, a close friend of a classmate, or a work colleague, we can't keep any relationship.
01
For friends, there are always Jin Yong-style and Gulong-style romantic reverie.
Imagine eating meat and drinking wine in a big bowl like Qiao Feng, Duan Yu, and Xuzhu, which is very happy.
is also like Lu Xiaofeng has a confidant who spends a lot of flowers, a close friend who blows snow at Ximen, and a friend who picks up stars, just open his mouth when he has something, and call friends when he has nothing to do, which is lively and lively.
But life is not a river and lake, there is less righteousness in both ribs, and more is to take the benefits they need.
For adults, value is the deepest emotion.
The writer Wuman has a friend whose father holds an important position in a public institution.
Relying on his father's prestige, this friend's business is booming, and he is surrounded by many confidants and friends.
But when his father retired, all his so-called friends disappeared.
When he encountered difficulties in his business, he went to seek help from those friends who had called him brothers and sisters before, but what he got was either rejection or a cold face.
Friends sighed: When people get along with others, feelings are not reliable, and the benefits are real.
All stable and long-term relationships are because of interests, and the end of most relationships comes from the disappearance of interests.
The sociologist Blau once put forward the idea that everyone should be paid for their relationships.
The so-called remuneration is the exchange of benefits.
You can bring me benefits, I can return the same amount, and the value interaction forms a closed loop, so that the system can operate stably for a long time.
In the same unit, you are inseparable, saying all kinds of heart-wrenching things. But after resigning, they never got along.
Partnering to start a business, you call each other brothers, eat and live together, and after the gang is dispersed, you will look at each other and hate each other, and there are few greetings.
In the end, social interaction has to return to personal value.
Without the bundle of interests and the link of value, some people around me are like fallen leaves after autumn, and they will drift away as soon as the wind blows.
02
During the National Day holiday, I asked some old friends to get together.
When I was in college, we would go to the restaurant next to the school to have dinner and drink together, shaking the dice, pulling our throats, and being so unhappy.
When it comes to any topic, everyone can throw stalks and pick up stalks, as if opening the floodgates, and talk endlessly.
Later, after graduating, they returned to the sea of people and had little contact.
Therefore, we are all a little looking forward to this gathering.
But when I waited for the wine table, it was cold several times in the middle.
He said some family trivialities, and the rest of the people politely echoed a few words, and it was boring.
I talked about some bad things about my work, and people didn't want to hear or care, so I stopped talking.
The people at the table were not memories, the wine in the glass was out of taste, and we tacitly left early.
As for when we will get together again, no one has spoken.
used to have a thousand glasses of wine with a confidant, and then he didn't speculate for more than half a sentence.
It turns out that the real distance is that mountains and rivers are difficult to meet, and it is also the three views and hearts between people.
Lu Xun and his playmate Runtu, the two are of the same age.
He called him "Brother Xun" and took him to catch birds in the snow, collect shellfish on the beach, and watch jumping fish.
Thirty years later, they are reunited. Lu Xun thought that he could relive the good old days, but Runtu opened his mouth and called "master".
A thick barrier separates the two, and they can no longer find the friendship they had back then.
The years are changing, and we are all changing.
In the days when we don't see each other, each has its own fate, and each has its own worries, and we no longer understand each other's lives and the world.
In the end, you will feel that it is better to miss seeing each other.
03
Sometimes I feel that life is a farewell process.
In the midst of the time and the reverse journey, there seems to be a number of ferries with willows clinging to each other, some people leaving the boat, and some people boarding the boat as companions.
At each crossing, we went a different way, each going our separate way.
Since then, different encounters and different identities have carved different lives.
No matter how much we don't want to admit it, many times, this moment is the end of a relationship.
Luo Xiang had a classic conversation with Xu Zhiyuan in "Thirteen Invitations".
Xu Zhiyuan asked, "What is your best friend doing?" ”
Luo Xiang replied: "My best friends when I was a child are no longer in touch now, they think I am a good mix." ”
Xu Zhiyuan was stunned.
You can be young together, but you may not be able to grow together.
The branches of the world, each riding the stream, each has a return to the boat, it may be mixed eating and waiting for death, it may be a small wealth that is safe, or it may be soaring.
You are intimate and small, and you are alone in your hometown guarding a job with little money and little work, supporting your family; The other went to the big city and gritted his teeth and climbed up.
You are classmates who are chasing dreams together, and after a few years, you are struggling at the bottom alone, and you can't see where the way out is; A person has a little fame, has some family background, and is quite beautiful.
So it became an inevitability.
When people reach middle age, they don't see old friends.
Some people can accompany you for a ride, but they can't accompany you for a lifetime.
What started out as a nuanced difference between us and our friends can eventually grow into a huge chasm.
This chasm is the difference in experience, pattern, and circle, and it is full of the ups and downs of their respective lives.
After a long time, it has become insurmountable, and the former friends, the former friendships, are destined to blur little by little.
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Writer Yishu said: In the journey of fate, the time for everyone's performance is set, and when it is time to leave, no matter how reluctant you are, you have to quit.
In the adult world, there is no eternity.
For a relationship, try your best and dedication, which is the best explanation for this relationship.