本文授权转自：男孩派（ID:boy666dj)
Rather than making useful children, we should nurture children with love. In this way, our children can have a steaming life instead of becoming lifeless.
- Tiger Mom
Recently, I accidentally swiped an interview with Peking University professor Zhao Dongmei.
What is unexpected is that Teacher Zhao Dongmei, who is a professor at the highest university in the country, has a son who dropped out of junior high school, and what is even more surprising is that Teacher Zhao supports his son to drop out of school.
What's going on?
It turned out that more than ten years ago, Mr. Zhao knew nothing about the "volume" in Haidian District, Beijing.
And her son also had a happy childhood without worry, not attending preschool or making up classes privately.
It wasn't until they entered primary school that Mr. Zhao and his son were stunned.
Here, performance is the measure of everything.
At the beginning, my son couldn't keep up with the progress of the class and kept working hard.
Finally, one time, his son scored 90 points, and Mr. Zhao was proud of his son from the bottom of his heart.
Unexpectedly, the teacher said to her with a sarcastic face: "Do you know how many points the other students in our class have scored?" ”
Only then did Mr. Zhao know that most of the students in this exam scored more than 95 points, and only one crane tail scored more than 80 points.
After staying in such an environment for a long time, Mr. Zhao's son began to get tired of school and refused to go to school.
Teacher Zhao had no way to convince his son, so he could only learn to accept reality.
But in the process, Mr. Zhao unexpectedly discovered that although children are not "reading materials", they are not useless:
My son likes four-wheel drives, has participated in competitions, and repairs his own cars;
My son speaks good English, and in order to repair the car, he can read the instructions in English.
There was also a period of time when my son had a whim and was ready to make his own pants, so he bought the textbooks of the Fashion Institute and taught himself how to make patterns and plates.
In the end, Mr. Zhao couldn't help but sigh:
"Originally, I only knew the way to study, but when I began to accept my son, my world was also opened."
Yes, many times we have to admit that there is a gap in every child, some children can be at the top, and some children are unable to do anything.
But only using a single standard to measure and shape children is not a kind of educational short-sightedness?
In fact, Heaven is fair to every child.
Among those children who do not do well, there may be an artist who does not know much about mathematics, there will be a musician who always fails in chemistry, and there will be an athlete whose physical fitness is much better than that of English.
What a truly far-sighted parent has to do is to see the shining points in his child and open up a track that belongs to him.
There was once an explosive article that touched countless people, called "My son is a genius who is not understood by the world".
Mom is a university professor and dad is a civil servant, but the son has not inherited the excellent genes of the two children, not only has no talent in learning, but also always gets into trouble.
On the first day of kindergarten, he injured the child and damaged the most expensive piano in the park.
In this way, my son went back and forth to many kindergartens, and the longest stay did not exceed 10 days. Every time he was repatriated from kindergarten, his father would feel ashamed of his son and punch and kick him.
Once, when the son arrived at a new kindergarten, he spilled urine in the children's rice bowl, and the father became angry when he found out and tied his son to the living room.
The son took the opportunity to break free, smashed the TV at home, and burned his father's study.
In the end, the son was sent to a psychiatric hospital by his father.
My mother learned all this after returning home from a business trip, divorced my father without saying a word, and took my son back.
Looking at her son, who was rarely quiet, her mother said with tears in her eyes: "Jiang Jiang, it turns out that you can be quiet." As I said earlier, my son is a genius who is not understood by this world! ”
Later, the mother was even more surprised to find that although her son likes to do damage, he can also repair and manufacture.
After seeing her mother lying in bed reading at night, looking sleepy and wanting to sleep, but had to get up and turn off the lights, her son spent a week helping her modify a lamp remote control.
Mom pressed the switch in disbelief, and the lights in the room turned on instantly.
Approaching the graduation of junior high school, his son's grades could not go to high school, he was depressed every day, and even began to self-harm.
But the mother still did not give up on her son, and tried to help him find a way out, and in the end, the son agreed to go to a vocational high school to learn car repair.
Unexpectedly, this decision made his son's life gradually better.
The son became a "car prodigy" from the "crane tail" in the school, and after graduation, he also opened an auto repair shop by himself, and since then he has supported himself.
As the Turkish proverb says, "God has prepared a low branch for every stupid bird." ”
In fact, there is no difference between good children and bad children in this world, only the difference between right and wrong places.
Judging a fish by its ability to climb trees is absurd in itself.
I've seen a news item before:
In Quzhou City, Zhejiang Province, there is a boy named Gong Zheng who has been seriously biased since he was a child.
In the end, he only scored 450 points in the high school entrance examination, and he couldn't even go to the local ordinary high school.
And Gong Zheng's mother is a teacher in a key high school.
At first, she was also particularly troubled by her son's situation, but later, she realized that although her son often failed English and Chinese, he always got full marks in science.
After seeing her son's talent, her mother decided to respect his wishes and let her son go to secondary school first.
What people didn't expect was that three years later, Gong Zheng was admitted to Zhejiang Sci-Tech University with a perfect score in mathematics and a total score of 562 points, the second best score in the province.
Cartoonist Cai Zhizhong said: "Every child is a genius, but 90% of them are taught badly by adults. ”
In many cases, it is not the child who is wrong, but the parents who regard grades and scores as the only yardstick to measure their children.
Seeing the child's talents, and accepting his poor side, can our children become the best they want to be and can become.
In the documentary "Amazing Mother", there is a mother named Li Qi.
She and her child's father are both returnee elites, but her son Xiaoshuai is a scumbag.
Surprisingly, not only is she not anxious, but she is very relaxed:
Seeing that her son's handwriting was not good, she would not criticize him urgently, but encouraged her son: "Yes, you can write it in the grid." ”
My son likes to play games, and as long as it doesn't exceed the allotted time, she won't interfere;
In her spare time, her son is busy programming and cutting videos, and she will not stop her son, and after learning that her son dreams of becoming an UP master or programmer, she will support her son as much as possible.
Because Li Qi has always believed that: