Oops, that's a good question. Let's talk about this today - if you don't live in the countryside all the year round, do you still have to give gifts to the red and white ceremonies in the village? What are the consequences of never participating?
Speaking of this happy event in the countryside, it is a big event. Red happy events, called "happy events" in our Beijing dialect, are happy events such as marriage, childbirth, and birthday; White happy event, that is, funeral event. This red and white wedding event pays attention to a "sophistication of human feelings" and a "face". Then we don't live in the countryside all year round, do we still have to leave this courtesy?
1. Etiquette, that is a kind of human touch
Let's talk about this casual gift first, in fact, it is a manifestation of human feelings. Rural people pay attention to a "courtesy", you follow my courtesy, I will follow your courtesy next time. This Lilly comes and goes, and the relationship is closer. Even if you don't live in the village all year round, as long as you still identify with this collective, this etiquette is indispensable.
2. How serious are the consequences of not following the courtesy?
Of course, if you never give a courtesy, then the consequences, the score is a few situations:
1. Estranged relationship: As soon as this etiquette is broken, the relationship with the people in the village will naturally be estranged. Over time, you may feel marginalized by the collective.
2. Loss of face: In rural areas, face is very important. If you don't follow the courtesy, others may poke you in the back and say that you don't pay attention to the rules and don't understand the rules.
3. Influence the next generation: If you don't follow the ritual for many years, your children may also be affected and feel that the number of etiquette is not important, which in turn will affect their relationship with the people in the village.
But then again, it's not absolute. If you really have difficulties, or if your relationship with the people in the village is mediocre, then not following the etiquette will not have too serious consequences. But it is best to greet the villagers in advance and explain the situation, so as not to cause misunderstandings.
Third, with the gift, but also pay attention to the number
Of course, more is not always better. You have to decide according to your relationship with the host family and your own financial situation. For example, if you have a particularly good relationship with the main family, then the gift money will naturally be more; If the relationship is average, then the meaning is fine.
Fourth, with the courtesy, but also to be able to "be a man"
In the matter of etiquette, you have to pay attention to "being a person". For example, if you go with the ceremony, you have to remember to go to a wedding or funeral. After you go, you must know how to greet the host and other guests, and say a few words of greeting, so that you can appear to be humane.
To sum it up
Having said so much, it is actually a sentence: if you don't live in the countryside all the year round, the red and white ceremonies in the village still have to be courtesy. This is not only a respect for the people in the village, but also a recognition of one's own identity. Of course, the specific situation should be analyzed on a case-by-case basis, and you should also determine your relationship with the people in the village and your economic situation. However, the old Beijing dialect said, "It is not strange to have many people", this number of etiquette, still have to move around.
We Beijing people pay attention to a "exquisite", this etiquette rules, you still have to pay attention. Don't let people say behind your back that you're ignorant, that's not good. Remember, it's not strange to have many people, go around more, and the relationship will be more iron!