Mr. Yang Jiang is a well-known literary champion in the mainland, and the love story between her and Qian Zhongshu is a beautiful story in the mainland literary circle. The two met when they were in college, and they accompanied each other for 60 years, supporting each other through a long period of studying abroad, the Anti-Japanese War and that special period, until the death of Mr. Qian Zhongshu in 1998.
Qian Zhongshu, a generation of scholars, even commented on his beloved wife, "the most virtuous wife, the most talented woman", saying that she perfectly combines the characteristics of wife, lover and friend. Today, let's take a look at the five secrets of Mr. Yang Jiang's way of managing marriage, and taste love and life with her:
1. The disagreement between the three views is the farthest distance in the world. Some people are close at hand, but far away. In fact, it is not the distance between each other that is gradually drifting away, but the three views. Friends who used to talk about everything, just because the three views do not agree, they have become strangers. As the saying goes, things gather by like, and people are divided by groups; The Tao is different, and they do not conspire with each other.
Just as Mr. Yang Jiang and Mr. Qian Zhongshu were initially married because of literature, the two not only had the same interests and hobbies, but also rejected the financial temptation of the Kuomintang Chang Kaishen and his family after the Anti-Japanese War, and resolutely chose to stay in the mainland of the motherland, although both of them finally encountered inhuman treatment during that special period. But neither of them gave up their love and yearning for literature and life because of this.
As Russell said, "True heroism is to love life after recognizing the essence of life." The attitude of the two of them towards education, and their indifference to money, fame and fortune, including the views of the two on human affairs and sophistication written by Mr. Yang Jiang in "The Two of Us......
It is enough to see that the two have been able to support each other for more than half a century, and the matching of the three views is the unbreakable foundation of the "love building" of the two.
Second, no matter how decent a man is, he can't quit lust, and no matter how wise a woman is, he can't quit love. This is nature, every lonely soul, all look forward to meeting a sincere person, but they don't know how to verify sincerity, look forward to each other, and guard against each other, desire each other, and disdain each other, so most people are cautious, have been wandering tentatively, and in the end they all return empty-handed, everyone hides the story of the past, everyone is confused about the future, cold and summer, muddy life, sealed heart, and locked love.
Speaking of the acquaintance of Mr. Yang Jiang and Mr. Qian Zhongshu, there is an interesting story. That is, when the two first met, Mr. Qian Zhongshu said, "I am not engaged", and the young Mr. Yang Jiang tacitly replied, "I don't have a boyfriend either." ”
Just like Tang Seng went to the West to learn scriptures, although people's lives are full of many passes, but the most difficult thing to pass is love!
This person, whether you are an emperor or general, such as Julius Caesar and Wu Sangui, King of Pingxi; or the great Confucianism of the literary family, such as Qian Zhongshu and Mr. Yang Jiang; or a generation of great virtues, such as the 6th Dalai Lama Cangyang Gyatso, who is famous for his love poems, or Tang Xuanzang in "Journey to the West......
After all, it is impossible to escape the catastrophe of love!
3. Before the divorce, some women feel that they are red wine and have a good man's character; After the divorce, I found out that I was Banlangen, and only the sick would drink it; Later, I found out that I didn't live as I wanted to do if I abandoned my husband and children, I wanted to go forward but I was useless, and I wanted to go back afterwards, but no one wanted it. The years are quiet for a moment, chicken feathers are daily, life is firewood, rice, oil, salt, sauce, vinegar and tea, look carefully, there is ash at the bottom of anyone's pot. If you don't have the ability to create happiness, even if you change someone, it will be difficult to get happiness.
To see a woman's ability to manage her marriage, she must first look at her ability to manage herself - there is a man chasing He Peng in the palm of his hand, and whether the man will feel sorry for himself and be sad after turning away.
In fact, we can also observe how a woman takes care of herself in life, and interestingly, we can often find that women in those praised marital relationships usually know to dress up and take care of themselves, such as Qi Wei and Lee Seung-hyun, a loving model couple in the entertainment industry, as well as CCTV host Xu Li and her current husband Zhang Tianwei......
Qi Wei and Xu Li are not only glamorous when they appear under the spotlight, but they are also very particular about dressing in private. The latter also experienced the turmoil of divorce for a while, but still did not give up dressing up, and even wrote "Elegance is a Choice" to talk about his way of dressing, which is no wonder that it attracted her current husband Zhang Tianwei, who later spoiled herself in the palm of her hand.
During that special period, Mr. Yang Jiang was once shaved by an ignorant and fearless young man, and was ordered to clean the toilet...... But Mr. Yang Jiang made a wig set overnight, and every time he went out, he still tidied up his hair neatly and dressed up cleanly...... Even if you are over 100 years old and choose to be alone, you will not change.
Fourth, resource matching is the essence of marriage, and lack of resources is the original sin of marriage. Poverty is sin, and so is imbalance. In today's materialistic society, only by improving one's own value and avoiding resource imbalance can one better control the relationship and manage one's marriage well.
The love story between Mr. Yang Jiang and Qian Zhongshu in the literary world can be maintained for 60 years, in fact, it is inseparable from the matching of their appearance, knowledge, including the original family background.
Although the author also believes that true love does not care about the family background, we must also face up to the fact that only men and women with similar family backgrounds and original family education are more likely to have similar three views, think of hobbies, including the ability to behave in the world.
Let's put it this way, if the two were not from the same traditional Confucian intellectual family, how could they have come into contact with literature and art, and at the same time became interested in literature and art, and then studied at Tsinghua University together...... If the two are not both "handsome men and beautiful women", which is now popular, if the difference between the two in literary attainments is too big...... How can they just know each other and fall in love, and support each other for 60 years of life?
The resources in marriage can be matched, not only in terms of money, family background, but also in terms of appearance, temperament, and knowledge.
Fifth, poor health is the biggest midlife crisis. When people reach middle age, health problems are often the first to come to their door. The body is the capital of everything, once there is a problem with the body, everything will come to naught, and having a good body can better struggle.
No matter how beautiful the myth of love is, it must be supported by a healthy and even beautiful body!
This is not only out of the consideration of the integration of the body and the reproduction of children, in fact, especially when the two are old in the second half of their lives, it is also the basis for the two to take care of and accompany each other, as the so-called "life is rare to be an old companion"! “
When you are sick, or even when you are healthy, it is a great comfort and warmth to have someone talking to you, or just sitting quietly next to you.
Mr. Qian Zhongshu died at the age of 88 when he died, but if he can survive 2000, the love story of the two may continue to be written for another decade or two, but sigh that everyone has no way to decide their own life and death!