The older a person gets, the more enthusiastic he will be, but the more affectionate he will be.
When I was young, everyone was enthusiastic, and few people were indifferent. When you reach a certain age, such as middle age, you will basically be indifferent and indifferent, and go your own way with countless people.
The contrast is so great that it shows that something must have happened in the middle of the process.
The process of growing up comes at a cost after all. Some of the costs are a person's simplicity and innocence; Some of the costs are a person's enthusiasm and expectation.
Children want to grow up and think that the adult world is free. Adults want to be children again, thinking that the world of children is very simple. This is the "siege".
When a person no longer attaches importance to feelings, the more he lives, the more affectionate he becomes, which actually illustrates these problems.
1. I have been beaten by life, and I no longer have any expectations.
If you have not been exposed to darkness, you do not know what light is; If you haven't been beaten by life, you don't know the truth of life.
Children look forward to it, every day is a spring flower, every day is sunny, every day is candy and delicacies. But children don't know that this is just an expectation, and it will not become a reality at all.
In this world, there is no eternal spring flowers, no eternal sunshine, and no candy and delicacies all over the ground. There is a high probability that there is only a gap of "backfire".
Where there is spring, there will certainly be summer, autumn, and winter; Where there is sunshine, there will certainly be rain, clouds and snow; Where there is candy, there will certainly be suffering, doom and tragedy.
When adults see through this truth, they will not have any expectations for life. In this way, people's feelings and fantasies gradually become weaker.
Life is not our parents, and it can't be for us forever. Sooner or later, we will be beaten by life and have to accept the reality that "the times are stronger than people".
Second, the monetary interests are too realistic, smoothing out the edges and corners of people.
The relationship between people is essentially a transaction of monetary interests.
Young men and women negotiate marriage, on the condition that they have a car and a house, he pays his own money and materials, and she pays for her body and fertility. Everyone takes what they need and trades money.
Wine and meat friends push glasses and change lamps at the dinner table, I toast you, you say polite words to me, everyone enjoys the happiness of drinking wine and eating meat. After leaving the dinner table, everyone went their separate ways, turning their faces and not recognizing anyone.
There is a saying in "Zengguang Xianwen": "No one asks about the poor in the downtown area, and the rich have distant relatives in the mountains." If you don't believe it, but look at the wine in the feast, and pay tribute to the rich first. ”
A person is poor, even if he is in a downtown area, no one will care about his life or death. is rich, even if he is in the deep mountains and old forests, someone will come to visit and hug his thighs.
Monetary benefits, too realistic. And people are also mercenary creatures. It is destined that there is only a relationship of interest between people, but not much emotional relationship. It's like a poor person, let alone finding love, maybe even the opposite sex looks down on them.
3. I hate hypocrisy and play on the spot, and gradually live a real life.
The society pays attention to human feelings, one is to wear a mask to be a person, and the other is to act on the spot.
Wearing a mask to be a person is equivalent to a set in front of a person, a set behind a person, and the set is different. Acting on the spot, it is equivalent to you pretending to be yours, I pretending to be mine, everyone pretending to be and going, without the slightest truth.
To sum it up in one word, it is hypocrisy. Is hypocritical socialization really so likeable? Not necessarily. Many people hate hypocrisy, but many people are forced to accept it.
You deal with colleagues, but colleagues like to pit you, and you can't help it; When you deal with relatives, they like to calculate you, and you can't help it; When you deal with friends, they like to tell you lies, and you still can't help it.
This kind of hypocritical life is always a bad time. Say a thousand, say ten thousand, human beings, only in the real days, can live worry-free, happy, and happy.
When a person gradually distances himself from social interactions, no longer acts on the spot, and becomes less affectionate towards strangers, it means that they are living more and more authentically, and they no longer wear masks to be human.
Fourth, the more you live, the more mature you are, and get rid of the child's childishness.
What is Maturity? Accepting reality, and adjusting one's attitude to life according to reality, is maturity.
How to understand it?
Others have bullied you, and you have unrealistic expectations of others. This is not maturity, but a kind of naivety that "does not want to accept reality".
When someone else bullied you, you took the opportunity to fight back in time, not only did you not have any expectations, but also became hardened. This is the maturity of "eating a trench and growing a wisdom".
People who are affectionate may not be affectionate at the beginning, but they have seen the truth of the world and people's hearts, understood how they should survive, and adjusted their attitudes, so they have become more and more affectionate.
This is the root of "the older people get, the less affectionate they are". Don't think that it's bad to be unkind, and don't think that if you don't pay attention to feelings, you're cold-blooded. It is possible that this is all the realization that "things are not difficult until they go through".
Text/Shushan has deer