Many cohabiting couples feel that although they see each other day and night, their relationship seems to be becoming more and more estranged, and seeing each other every day is not the same as intimacy, but makes each other "relaxed", and they no longer need to spend time on maintaining their relationship. For those habits that we take for granted, but can become the "invisible killer" of romantic relationships at any time, marriage and family therapists point out the following habits and solutions that ruin relationships.
Breaking Relationship Habits 01: Spending a lot of time watching TV
Exhausted after work, many people feel that snuggling up with their partner and watching Netflix is the greatest pleasure, but psychologist and sex therapist say that going home every day and spending all the time watching TV can ruin the relationship. Psychologists bluntly said that the two would rather watch TV than communicate or make out with their partners, and over time, they will put "watching TV" in the highest priority position and no longer bother to maintain a relationship with their partners.
● Expert advice: Try turning off the TV for a while and listening to music instead, massaging and chatting with each other, both relaxing and communicating.
Breaking Relationship Habits 02: Interrupting each other in a fight
After living together, it is easy to quarrel over trivial matters, and some people will "love each other more and more when they quarrel", and they can understand each other better every time they argue, but the quarrel constantly interrupts the partner's speech, which will damage the relationship between the two. The psychotherapist admits that interrupting a partner during a fight will make the other partner feel disrespected and "their thoughts don't matter", and that every time there is friction, they should give each other a chance to express their thoughts.
● Expert advice: Cultivate patience in every fight, wait for your partner to finish speaking, and then ask the other person rationally, "Can I share my thoughts?"
Destroying Emotional Habits 03: Only care about love
Some girls are "more in love than the sky", and after living together, they only have the other half in their eyes, and they will no longer spend time socializing with friends, and they are not as hard as in the past. The psychotherapist pointed out that the "love period" would eventually end, when he suddenly realized that he had "sacrificed" his personal life for love, and transferred this "resentment" to his partner, feeling that he had caused him to lose everything.
● Expert advice: Change the thinking of "putting the other half first" and "seeing less is equal to not being intimate", and remember that in-depth communication is more conducive to maintaining relationships.
Destroying Emotional Habits 04: Too Competitive
Competitive people may win praise in the workplace, but they should not be too competitive in relationships, trying to "win" in conversations or arguments with their partners and trying to convince them. Marriage and family therapists pointed out that every time they speak, they only want to "talk to the other person" instead of solving the problem, which will lead to the breakdown of the relationship, and always remember that the relationship between couples is like "teammates" and not "opponents".
● Expert advice: Learn to listen first, take the initiative to ask the other person's thoughts and feelings, then listen attentively to the other person's speech, and then calmly express your feelings and needs, and avoid criticizing your partner.
Breaking Relationship Habits 05: Expecting a partner to have mind reading
When we don't even say it, your partner can guess what you're thinking, and you feel that the other person is very attentive. Marriage and Family Therapists say that everyone wants to have an invisible understanding with their partner. In relationships, it is easy for us to fall into the myth that the other person cannot "read minds", that is, they do not understand or pay attention to themselves, and over time a gap will form.
● Expert advice: Most people are not good at expressing their needs, change the idea that "need help equals weakness", and learn to take the initiative to express their thoughts and needs to their partners.
Breaking Emotional Habits 06: Avoid talking about the future
Even though live-in couples may say that they see each other as "lifelong partners" or marriage partners, they rarely talk to each other about the future, which is like an "invisible bomb" in the relationship. Even if you get along well with your partner and love each other deeply, you have to take more into account when you enter marriage, such as whether the other party wants to have children, whether you want to work hard for your career after marriage or whether you want to marry and teach children, etc., the two people must reach a consensus before they can continue.
● Expert advice: Start small, build a blueprint for your future life with your partner point by point, don't just focus on the happiness of the moment, the future with your partner is also important.