Text: Ying's mother
The Romeo and Juliet effect is also known as the "forbidden fruit effect" in psychology, that is, the more forbidden things are, the more curious people are, and the more likely they are to cause rebellion.
He Ling is a junior high school teacher with more than 20 years of teaching experience, and when she first taught junior high school, she discovered that there is a characteristic of this group of children, that is, there will be a few people in each class who fall in love in the second and third years of junior high school.
And she also observed that if parents fall in love with their children, it is strongly opposed, such as not letting their children use mobile phones, such as picking up their children when they go to and from school, and even forcing their children not to come and go, but making the two children more and more sticky, and even engaging in underground work.
And those children who did not stop their children's early love, but quietly guided them, but the two children were either separated directly, or although the relationship between the two people was good, their academic performance could get better and better.
Therefore, the reaction of parents when their children are in early love will have a very obvious impact on their children.
Do parents strongly oppose or guide their children when they are in early love? There will be a gap in three aspects, and the gap is getting bigger and bigger
Number 1: Gap in parent-child relationship
If you are in early love, the child who is strongly opposed by his parents will have a worse and worse parent-child relationship with his parents, and even run away from home. If there is money, it is possible for two people to even run to open a house.
So parents strongly oppose it, and then encounter the rebellious period of adolescent children, the more they oppose the child, the more rebellious they are, and this kind of rebellion is to do it against the parents, if you don't let me fall in love and study, I will fall in love and not study.
Number 2: The child's academic performance
Do you think that those children who are in love, he really doesn't like to study? In fact, every child on the earth hopes that he can have a better tomorrow, and every child who goes to junior high school also knows that his academic performance still has a great impact on him, so the child really hopes to have good grades.
However, some children may have experienced a lot of setbacks in learning, resulting in their inability and confidence in learning.
When he is incapacitated and pressed by his parents to study, he happens to encounter changes in adolescent hormones and has a good impression of the opposite sex, but when he falls in love, his parents force him not to talk about learning, which will make his children even more evasive from learning.
Therefore, people who are strongly prevented from falling in love by their parents will get worse and worse in their academic performance.
Those parents who can guide their children will tell their children: Not every mother is as open-minded as your mother, so if you don't have a good grade, how can you please your future mother-in-law or mother-in-law?
At this time, falling in love can promote children to be more motivated to learn.
Number 3: The child changes from hazy early love to real love
If the parents strongly object, it will bring the two people closer together, and may even secretly try something that the child should not try, causing irreversible consequences.
But if parents guide their children at this time: when you reach this age, your mother knows that you are very curious about love, and there happens to be someone who appreciates you and you appreciate, and your mother is very happy, after all, this is a necessary part of life. But my mother wants to tell you that as a girl, you must learn to protect yourself.
At this time, you can buy some adolescent books for your children to read, or talk to your daughter, how can girls protect themselves? This is actually sex education.
And if it is a son, it is best to let the father say, you can also send some books on adolescent education to the son, to let the child know that he is in love at this time is actually a very normal thing, because of hormones, he likes the opposite sex at this age is a normal physiological and psychological phenomenon, but at this time we have not yet reached the age of responsibility, we must learn to protect ourselves, but also to protect each other, this is respect for each other.
Therefore, when parents are in early love, homeopathic guidance can avoid irreversible consequences.
There are many reasons for adolescent children's early love, many times it may be a single-parent family or parents who are too strict and so on, resulting in children who are prone to rebellious and early love when they reach puberty.
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