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This article is fictional, and the names of people, places, or other aspects involved in the text have nothing to do with reality (without any implications). If there is any similarity, it is purely a coincidence, please read it rationally.
As the old saying goes, "Brothers, settle accounts". The implication behind this statement is that even if you are like a fellow countryman, you must keep a certain distance.
Many people have lived for half their lives, and after the year of knowing the destiny of heaven, they have experienced the ups and downs of life before they gradually understand the importance of this sentence.
With the precipitation of the years, we began to realize that even if the family relationship is deep, there are still some key issues that need to be left behind......
The good things in the family are not revealed
In life, it is human nature to share joy with others.
Especially when something good happens at home, you often can't help but share it with your siblings or friends and relatives.
However, it was only after the age of 50 that I gradually realized that good things in the family may not always be suitable for publicity. The reason is not only that people are unpredictable, but also because at times, excessive disclosure can lead to unexpected troubles and unnecessary disputes.
Once, when I went to visit Uncle Li, who usually treats me very well, downstairs, I heard a story from him.
It was an early autumn afternoon, and the sun was slanting through the window into the cottage, and there was a warm and cozy feeling in the room. Uncle Li sat in the living room, holding a cup of hot tea in his hand, and he was in a particularly happy mood.
A few days ago, his son had just been promoted and raised, and the news made him almost happy with joy.
The wife of the family is busy in the kitchen, cooking Uncle Li's favorite braised pork while humming a little tune.
Uncle Li looked at his wife, and a sense of satisfaction welled up in his heart. He thought that when his brother came, he would tell him the good news, so that he would be happy and happy.
Uncle Li thought about it, feeling a little excited. He and his younger brother have had a deep relationship since childhood, when they were young, they climbed trees to catch birds, went down to the river to fish together, and when they grew up, they have always helped each other, and there are no secrets between them.
Now that he sees that his child is promising, he feels that this joy should also be shared with his younger brother. But just as he was about to get up to greet his younger brother, he suddenly remembered his wife's previous advice: "It's good that we know some things, don't be too public." ”
He hesitated for a moment, thinking to himself, such a big good thing, wouldn't it be uncomfortable not to say it? Besides, my younger brother has a good character, so it won't hurt to know it, right?
The younger brother arrived soon, and Uncle Li beckoned him to sit down and handed over a cup of tea. After a few words of greeting, Uncle Li finally couldn't help it, and said with a smile: "Xiao Li has been promoted, and his salary has risen a lot, this kid finally didn't disappoint us!" ”
When the younger brother heard this, a trace of envy flashed in his eyes, and then he also congratulated Uncle Li with a smile, and the two began to talk about family life.
However, a few days later, Uncle Li found that his younger brother's attitude towards him seemed to have become a little subtle. Every time we meet, my brother always talks about money.
What bothered Uncle Li the most was that his younger brother also offered to borrow a sum of money, saying that the family was in urgent need of turnover. Uncle Li was a little unhappy in his heart, but because of his brotherhood, he had to agree.
However, after the money was lent out, the younger brother had no intention of returning it. As time went by, Uncle Li gradually felt a sense of bitterness in his heart.
At this time, Uncle Li recalled his wife's original advice, and felt unspeakable regret in his heart.
Only then did he understand that some good things in the family should not be in a hurry to reveal to outsiders, even the closest brothers and sisters.
Because the human mind is complex, sometimes even oneself may not be able to see through it. Overrevealing the good things in the family may cause people to have undue expectations and even breed some undesirable thoughts.
Over the years, Uncle Li has gone through a lot of things before he finally understood the truth of "blessings should not be revealed, and you can enjoy them at home".
After this lesson, Uncle Li became more cautious. After discussing with his wife, he decided that when he encountered similar things in the future, he would still deal with them in a low-key manner and keep a hand.
Because true wisdom lies not in how to share joy, but in how to protect one's family from unnecessary troubles and troubles.
The financial situation is not exposed
Another important lesson is that the family's finances should never be exposed.
No matter how good the relationship between siblings is, money issues are always complicated, and the slightest carelessness may lead to conflicts and even destroy the original harmonious relationship.
I also heard a story.
One evening in early winter, the chill was getting thicker, and the sky was gray, and it seemed that snow was about to start at any moment.
Aunt Zhang sat in the living room, holding a deposit slip she had just received, and a satisfied smile appeared on her face.
She and her wife have worked hard for most of their lives, and finally saved a considerable amount of savings, and their hearts are finally much more steady.
At the moment, the room was silent, only the wall clock on the wall was ticking. Aunt Zhang thought about it, and couldn't help but feel a little relieved, feeling that she had not worked in vain in her life.
However, when her sister Xiaomei called, Aunt Zhang was a little hesitant. The two sisters have always had a good relationship, eating and living together when they were children, and often moving around as adults.
Xiaomei was chatting about the recent trivial matters on the other end of the phone, and suddenly asked about Aunt Zhang's recent situation. On a whim, Aunt Zhang thought that she was a sister anyway, and it didn't hurt to reveal it at all, so she casually mentioned: "Your brother-in-law and I have saved some money and are going to support our old age in the future." ”
As soon as the words came out, Aunt Zhang regretted it a little, but in order not to let her sister be distracted, she didn't say anything, and the topic quickly turned to other things.
A few days later, Xiaomei came to the house as a guest, bringing a bunch of gifts, and constantly exaggerating that her aunt knew how to live. These gifts made Aunt Zhang a little embarrassed, after all, she knew that Xiaomei's family conditions were not well-off.
During the chat, Xiaomei suddenly mentioned something that surprised Aunt Zhang: "Sister, my family has encountered some difficulties recently, borrow some money to turn around, do you think it's okay?" ”
Aunt Zhang was shocked, although she had been prepared, she still felt embarrassed when she really faced it. She knew that the money her sister said was not a small amount, and she and her wife's savings were for retirement, which was not easy to use.
Aunt Zhang felt embarrassed and didn't know how to respond for a while. She looked at her sister's expectant eyes, and her heart was entangled. In the end, she couldn't refuse and borrowed a sum of money to her sister.
However, things are not as simple as she imagined. As time passed, the younger sister did not repay the loan as scheduled, but made the relationship between the two delicate in the postponement again and again.
Aunt Zhang's mood became heavier and heavier, and whenever she saw her sister's phone, it was always difficult to press the answer button. She knew that if she continued like this, the sisterhood would be difficult to maintain.
However, in the face of family affection, she doesn't know how to deal with it properly.
The wife gradually noticed her troubles, and the two discussed it many times in private, and finally decided to be honest with her sister. However, when they try to find a solution, the younger sister seems a little unhappy and even begins to distance themselves from them.
Only then did Aunt Zhang understand that some things were originally well-intentioned, but they may cause conflicts because of financial problems.
She regretted that she should not have disclosed her family's finances easily, especially in front of her close relatives. Although sisterhood is deep, when it comes to money, the conflict between reason and emotion can often get people into trouble.
Since then, Aunt Zhang has become more cautious and no longer easily reveals the family's finances to anyone. She understands that financial well-being is not only related to the stability of her family, but also directly affects the harmony within the family.
It is this seemingly insignificant detail that truly tests a person's wisdom and sense of protection of the family.
Only by doing this, can we protect our families from being disturbed by the outside world in the wind and rain, and keep our own peace and happiness.
True wisdom
In addition to the good things and finances in the family, there are some things that also need to be treated with caution when getting along with siblings and cannot be easily revealed.
For example, difficulties and conflicts in private life, such as disputes between husband and wife, children's education, or other conflicts within the family, are very private matters.
Siblings, although close, each have different life experiences and values, and sometimes their advice may not be appropriate for your situation and may even exacerbate the problem.
Especially when it comes to marital conflicts, if siblings get involved too much, it may lead to deeper misunderstandings and even affect the stability of the family.
For example, they may take sides with one side, leading to deeper misunderstandings between husband and wife, and even greater family conflicts.
In addition, if these problems are spread, it may affect your family privacy and even cause unnecessary discussion in the circle of relatives.
The issue of inheritance or the distribution of property is also an extremely sensitive topic within the family, even between siblings.
The distribution of property involves the interests of each family member, and any early disclosure or discussion will cause unnecessary suspicion and disputes, and may even destroy the relationship between siblings.
Some siblings may feel that the distribution is unfair, which can lead to jealousy and even suspicion of your behavior or that of other family members.
This can not only lead to tensions within the family, but can also affect the harmony of the entire family and even lead to legal disputes in extreme cases.
In getting along with siblings, maintaining a moderate distance and moderate reservation is actually to maintain the longevity and stability of family affection.
This is not a distrust of family affection, but a wise use of life experience to ensure the harmony and longevity of family relationships......