No matter how heartless the breakup is, it is temporary, teach the two of you to think and capture the heart of your ex.
I found that many students get the answer from their ex when they encounter a breakup crisis: you are too aggressive, your desire to control is too strong, your feelings have been exhausted, you don't love anymore, you don't feel it anymore, etc.
Hearing these reasons, many people's first reaction is grievances and accusations: it is clear that they are working hard every day, spending a lot of time, energy and even money, just to make the other party more comfortable.
As a result, he still didn't appreciate it, and turned around and accused me of not doing well? Why?! Then two people will have an argument, and neither will be able to convince the other.
But there are some people who will be very afraid of breaking up, will reflect on themselves excessively, will feel that they have indeed done something bad before, and then apologize to the other party, humbly ask for peace, and say that they will definitely change, and will no longer lose their temper in the future, etc.
That's these two completely different ways of dealing with it, often without good results, the ex seems to be soft and hard, so everyone began to suspect: he must have someone outside, that's why he is so determined to part with me!
Then he began to suspect his every move, to check his mobile phone, to open his location, to check his consumption records, and so on.
But this kind of behavior will only lead to more serious estrangement and contradictions between the two, so what should we do? Here I will provide you with two good coping ideas to help you resolve this emotional crisis.
01
The first idea is that we start with emotions and feelings
Establish in-depth communication with the other party, resolve grudges, and rebuild relationships. The ex's accusation against you is that you are too pretentious, have a bad temper, and live with you is miserable.
At this time, we should not interrupt him, let alone stand on the opposite side of him to refute him. Regardless of whether his words are objective and fair, you must know that this is a signal that he is asking for help from you.
As long as he has emotions for you, it means that he still has expectations for you.
I also shared with you in my previous content that a person who really wants to break up and break off the relationship, he will not quarrel with you, he would rather block and delete until he disappears completely, and you can't find a contact channel.
Because he has no emotions for you, he can completely ignore you.
But now that he is venting his previous dissatisfaction, you accept his emotions, help him express his emotions, channel his emotions, and let him know:
It turns out that you can understand him, you can understand him, it turns out that you don't have to break up with you, and you can end your painful life. Then even if he doesn't say it, his heart will start to waver.
After all, being noticed and understood is everyone's lowest emotional need. As long as you give it, your emotional crisis can be resolved.
02
The second idea is to accept yourself and change yourself positively
For example, if you are a person who wants your partner to give you gifts on various anniversaries, create a sense of ritual, and express affection, then what is the right thing to do?
The right thing to do is to tell your partner a week before the anniversary that you are looking forward to spending the anniversary with him, so you hope that he can set aside time in advance and tell him about your plans.
This is your need, respect your own need, allow yourself to express your need to the other person, and at the same time know that this need is your own.
But many people tend to do two wrong things.
01
The first is self-repression
This kind of person will be afraid of being rejected by the other party, so he suppresses and does not dare to say it, wronging himself, but he has deep expectations in his heart, and he will not say it directly if his expectations are disappointed, but hold back, torture himself, and torture the other party.
02
The second type is the one who loves to work
People who love to do will blame their partners for not taking the initiative to accompany them, not taking the initiative to give gifts, and will go online, control each other by accusing, and let the other party do things according to their own ideas.
Then these two wrong ways of getting along with each other are easy to encounter the desertion of the partner, or the rejection of the partner.
Because everyone longs for the real feeling, whether it is your depression or your actions, it makes this real feeling hidden.
If your partner sees you as cold, numb, and tantrums, then your relationship will naturally break down.
That's why I've always told you that if you're a person with strong self-control, you can stabilize yourself through inner healing and guide yourself toward emotional stability.
No one will reject an emotionally stable person, we can look at the friends around him, as long as he is an emotionally stable person, he must have the most friends around him, and the popularity is also the best, why?
Because he can play from high dimension to low dimension, and is backward compatible, everyone else feels a full sense of security in him.
In other words, if you are not a person with strong self-control, you will consume yourself and others at every turn, and the whole person will be in an extremely weak state both internally and externally, then it is not recommended that you immediately operate to redeem it.
One is that your current situation does not allow you to have excessive mood swings, and the second is because your ex will not like to defuse the bomb-like feelings, and when he encounters an unstable you, he will only accelerate his escape.
So when you can't control your emotions, you might as well take a look at the two coping ideas I just said, saving your ex is just incidental, and stabilizing your own core is our greatest growth.