I am Liu Min, 57 years old this year, an ordinary rural old lady. At around 8 o'clock that night, I hummed a little song and went back to my son's house in a happy mood. As soon as I entered the corridor, I saw my suitcase lying alone at the door.
"What's going on?" I muttered in confusion and reached for the doorknob.
The door was suddenly pulled open from the inside, and my daughter-in-law Li Lin stood at the door angrily, scolding her head and covering her face: "Old woman, do you still have the face to come back?" Are you here to help or to hurt someone? ”
I was stunned for a moment, and looked at her at a loss: "Linlin, what's wrong?" I ......"
Before he finished speaking, my son Wang Qiang also appeared at the door, his face was gloomy and terrifying: "Mom, you disappointed me too much. Don't come back in the future. ”
"Qiangzi, what's going on?" My voice trembled, and a sense of foreboding suddenly swelled up in my heart.
Wang Qiang took a deep breath and tried to calm down: "Mom, where have you been this afternoon?" ”
"I ...... I'll go downstairs and play mahjong for a while......" I replied hesitantly.
"Playing mahjong for a while?" Li Lin sneered, "Your old man has been fighting for a full four hours!" Lock two small children in your home! Do you know what's going on? ”
My heart suddenly rose to my throat: "Out of ...... What's wrong? ”
Wang Qiang said in a deep voice: "Lele was scalded by boiling water and is still in the hospital!" ”
I felt like the world was spinning, my legs went limp, and I almost fell to the ground.
"How can this be......" I muttered to myself, tears streaming uncontrollably.
Li Lin looked at me coldly: "You are quite good at enjoying it, and you will turn the five-year-old Yueyue around." Do you know what Yueyue is scared of now? ”
I opened my mouth to explain something, but found that I had nothing to say.
Wang Qiang shook his head, his disappointment overflowing: "Mom, we trust you by entrusting the child to your care." But what about you? In order to play mahjong, throw two small children for several hours. Are you still the mom I know? ”
I trembled and stretched out my hand, trying to pull my son's sleeve: "Qiangzi, Mom knows it's wrong, really knows it's wrong......"
Wang Qiang took a step back and avoided my hand: "Mom, this time it's really too much." Go back to your hometown first, and we'll talk about that later. ”
With that, he turned around and entered the house, slamming the door shut.
I stood in the doorway, tears blurring my vision. The lights in the hallway flickered on and off, as if to mock me for my stupidity and selfishness. With trembling hands, I felt for my suitcase by the door, filled with remorse and self-blame.
Sitting on a bench in the community, I began to think back to what happened half a month ago.
It was a sunny Sunday afternoon, and I was watering vegetables in the yard of my hometown when I suddenly received a call from my son, Wang Qiang.
"Mom, can you come and help us take care of the baby for a few days?" Wang Qiang's voice sounded a little anxious.
"What's wrong? What's wrong? I hurriedly asked.
Wang Qiang explained: "The company suddenly arranged for me and Linlin to go on a business trip for a week. I wanted to hire a babysitter, but I couldn't find a suitable one for a while. Can you help? ”
Without saying a word, I agreed: "Okay, no problem." Your work is important, so I'll pack up my things and get there in the car early tomorrow morning. ”
Wang Qiang's relieved voice came from the other end of the phone: "Great, thank you, Mom!" ”
Early the next morning, I got on the bus to the city. When she arrived at her son's house, Li Lin was packing up for her two children.
"Mom, you're just in time." Li Lin greeted him with a smile, "I'm sorry for you." ”
I waved my hand: "Where, taking care of my grandchildren is what I should do." ”
Wang Qiang squatted down and said to five-year-old Wang Yue seriously: "Yueyue, Mom and Dad are going on a business trip for a few days, you have to listen to your grandmother and take good care of your brother, you know?" ”
Wang Yue nodded sensibly: "Got it, Dad." I'll take care of my brother. ”
Li Lin picked up the two-year-old Wang Le and kissed him on the face: "Lele should be well-behaved, don't let grandma worry about it." ”
Before leaving, Li Lin told me again: "Mom, there are ready-made dishes in the refrigerator, you can just heat them up." Everything else is in the old place, you can find it if you look for it. By the way, Yueyue goes to school at 8 am and ends at 4 pm, so remember to pick up and drop off on time. ”
I nodded again and again: "Don't worry, I remember it all." You can work in peace, and I will be at home. ”
Sending my son and daughter-in-law away, I looked at the two children and secretly made up my mind: I must take good care of them and not live up to the trust of my son and daughter-in-law.
For the next few days, I did my best to take care of my two children. Get up on time every morning, prepare breakfast for Wang Yue, and then send her to school. After coming back, he accompanied Wang Le to play with toys and read picture books. Cook at noon, pick up Wang Yue from school, and then accompany the two children to eat and take a nap. In the afternoon, I took them to the children's playground in the community to play, and at night I coaxed them to bathe and sleep.
Although busy, my heart is full of joy when I look at my two lovely children. Especially Wang Le, who is only two years old, speaks milkily, and walks a little shaky, which makes me always want to laugh.
However, by the fifth day, I started to feel a little tired. It just so happened that afternoon, I saw someone organizing a mahjong game in the community owner group.
"Lao Wang's family, do you want to come and rub it twice? It's in Building 3, and it's bustling! "Someone in the group @ me.
My heart moved, and I suddenly felt that I hadn't touched mahjong for a long time, and my hands were itching. But after thinking about it, I still have to take care of the child, and I dispelled this idea again.
"No, no, I have to take care of my grandchildren." I replied.
"Oh, bring it with you, downstairs is the children's paradise, let the big ones look at the small ones, you can rest assured!" The other side continued to instigate.
I hesitated. looked at Wang Le and Wang Yue, who were playing with toys in the living room, and there was a war in their hearts. With responsibility on one side and temptation on the other, I was in a dilemma.
In the end, temptation triumphed over reason. I said to Wang Yue, "Yueyue, grandma has something to go out for." You look at your brother and call your grandmother if there's anything, you know? ”
Wang Yue nodded obediently: "Got it, grandma." I'll take care of my brother. ”
I said a few more words, locked the door and went out. I was still comforting myself in my heart: it's okay, just fight for a while, and I'll be back soon.
However, game after game, I gradually lost track of time. Until the mobile phone suddenly rang, it was Li Lin calling. I realized that four hours had passed.
"Mom! Where are you? Why don't you answer your child's phone? Li Lin's voice was full of anxiety and anger.
I "chuckled" in my heart and hurriedly said, "I...... I'll go back. ”
Hanging up the phone, I hurriedly packed my things and rushed back. On the way, my heart was beating so hard that I always felt like something was going to happen.
Sure enough, when I got home, I saw the opening scene. It turned out that not long after I left, Wang Le accidentally knocked over the kettle on the table and burned his hands and legs. Wang Yue was frightened and at a loss, so she could only call me one by one, but I was immersed in mahjong and didn't answer.
In the end, Li Lin discovered the abnormality through the monitoring at home, and quickly contacted the neighbor and sent Wang Le to the hospital.
Thinking of this, my heart hurts like being cut by a knife. How can I be so selfish? How can you put your child's safety at risk for the sake of momentary pleasure?
I sat on the bench and didn't know how long it was. Until a familiar voice pulled me back to reality.
"Liu Min, why are you sitting here?"
I looked up and saw that it was my mother-in-law, Zhang Ying.
"Oops, what's going on? I cried so much that my eyes were swollen. Zhang Ying sat down next to me and asked with concern.
I choked up and told her what had happened.
After hearing this, Zhang Ying sighed: "You, you really did something wrong this time." The safety of your children is paramount, so how can you leave them alone at home? ”
I lowered my head, tears welling up again: "I know it's wrong, I really know it's wrong." But now ......"
Zhang Ying patted me on the shoulder: "It's too late to regret it now." You have to give your child some time to digest it. Come back with me for a few days until they're gone. ”
I shook my head, "No, I'd better go back to my hometown." Here, I'm afraid of running into hadron ......"
Zhang Ying persuaded a few words, and when she saw that I had made up my mind, she no longer insisted. She called a taxi for me and took me to the coach station.
Sitting in the car back to my hometown, I looked out the window at the scenery flying by, and my heart was mixed. I kept thinking about everything that had happened in the past few days, and all kinds of emotions of remorse, self-blame, and guilt were intertwined.
I am sorry for the trust of my son and daughter-in-law, and even more sorry for my two lovely grandchildren. Wang Le is so young, he is injured like this, I don't know if it will leave a shadow. Wang Yue was even more frightened by my irresponsibility, and made her take on responsibilities that should not be borne at her age.
Thinking of this, I couldn't help but shed tears again.
The car was jolting, and my thoughts were up and down. I began to reflect on my own behavior, why did I make this choice? Do you feel that you can let your guard down when you are older? Or do I still can't let go of those little hobbies in my bones and ignore the importance of my family?
Back in the small courtyard of my hometown, there was silence all around, except for a few crickets chirping in the corner. I sat on an old rattan chair in the courtyard, looking at the starry sky, full of confusion.
How can I make amends? How can I repair my relationship with my son's family? Will there be a chance to meet grandchildren in the future?
These questions are like a mess that haunts me. I know that it will take time to untie these knots, and it will take my sincerity and action.
Perhaps, I should quit the habit of playing mahjong. Perhaps, I should learn some parenting knowledge to make myself a more competent grandmother. Perhaps, I should care more about my family than just my own interests.
Late at night, I got up and went inside. Tomorrow, I will call my son, sincerely apologize, and ask Wang Le about his injuries. While they may still be angry and may not answer my calls, I can't give up.
I tossed and turned in bed and couldn't sleep. Outside the window, the moonlight poured in, reflecting a crooked square on the ground. I stared at the light spot, and suddenly understood a truth: getting old is not a reason to do what you want, but more cautious and responsible.
Because the trust of the family and the safety of the children are much more important than any momentary happiness.
Late this night, I made up my mind: no matter what, I want to change myself and regain the trust of my family. It may be a long and difficult road, but I will keep going.
Because, I am a mother and a grandmother. My responsibilities should not decrease with age, but should become heavier and heavier.
Looking at the moonlight outside the window, I whispered, "I'm sorry, Qiangzi, Linlin, Yueyue, and Lele." Grandma will definitely change and will definitely do better. ”
The moonlight fell silently on my face, as if it were a silent witness. I know that a new beginning starts now.