I saw a three- or four-year-old boy in the women's toilet at the airport, and yelled at his mother with a milky voice: How many times have I told you, I don't want to go to the women's toilet......!
Xiao Ming: Master, do you say it's strange, every time I look at the time, I like to see 11:1, is it hinting at me? Master: What kind of situation did you see it? Xiao Ming: Every time my daughter-in-law asks me the time. Master: Do you know what holiday November 11th is? Xiao Ming: Singles' Day. Hey, I understand, I'll divorce her when I go back. No wonder the luck has been bad in recent years, thank you for the master's enlightenment. The Master smiled and nodded. After Xiao Ming left, his daughter-in-law walked out of the room, and the two met and smiled.
Today, the car lock can't be opened, so I squatted down to study, and a buddy I didn't know came to ask with a frightened face: What are you doing? I smiled awkwardly: the lock is broken. When he heard this, he watched me silently. Brother scolded in his heart: If you don't help, forget it, and watch from the side. After five minutes, he said, "Can't you open it?" I bought this lock for thirty bucks! Brother froze suddenly..... Turns out this is not my car
Today I picked up a U-shaped lock on the road, the kind that was opened, I wanted to throw it away, just saw that the electric car parked on the side of the road was not locked, and then a Lei Feng spirit came to my heart, so I locked the electric car with the lock!
He didn't answer a little urgent call, so he called his wife, and his wife didn't know where he went, so I kept calling, but he never answered. Thinking about how much debt he had, the more I thought about it, the more panicked I became, was he kidnapped? I immediately contacted his parents, his daughter-in-law and his brother, and everyone went their separate ways to look for him, and finally, his father and his daughter-in-law found him in the massage parlor around the corner... Fortunately, it was not a kidnapping......
The hotel drank wine, on the way home, I saw a police light flashing in front of me from a distance, my heart was tight, not good, check drunk driving, when the wine was also awake for most of the time, I quickly retreated, and after walking for five minutes, I suddenly thought, what am I afraid of walking......
I played Legend for 3 years, Legend World for 2 years, Zhuxian for 2 years, Warcraft for 3 years, and LOL for 2 years. I didn't graduate from junior high school, I paid for high school, I didn't graduate from high school, I bought college with my money, I didn't graduate from college, I bought a diploma with money. I don't have a job now, I work in a joint venture every day, and the company is full of graduate students with a monthly income of 30,000 yuan... Compared to them, I think I'm really not as good as a dog. But I'm not afraid, because the director of the company is my father.
When I realized that my first reaction when I saw "Thousands of Miles to Send ______" was no longer "goose feathers", I knew that I had indeed changed.
Son: "Dad, do you have any horror books to read?" Dad: "Yes, I've watched it for 20 years and found it scary." Son: "What book?" Dad: "My marriage certificate with your mother." ”????
At the blind date, man: Are you a virgin? F: Do you have a room? Do you have a car? Is there a deposit? Male: Suburban villa, BMW X7, company CEO. The woman silently picked up the phone and dialed her ex-boyfriend: "Why did you puncture the old lady's tens of millions, did you make it?" You pay the old lady. ”