Wife: Husband, do you have any change? The husband glanced at his wife: How can I have change on me? Wife: Nima, you don't have any change? What about the five dollars I gave you in the morning? Husband: Wife, for me, five yuan is a week's living expenses, how can such a large amount be change?
In one class, the teacher asked everyone, "What did everyone do before your parents knew that you had grown up?" "Some children said to wash their mother's feet, and some said to beat their father's back. It was my brother's turn, and he said, "One time my dad picked me up from school, and I met a card friend on the way, and we discussed secretly going to play cards at night, and I said I was going to tell my mom to let her break your leg!" My dad was furious: the puppy has hard wings? Lao Tzu asked you to run 50 meters first! As a result, he didn't catch up with me...
My ex-girlfriend broke up with me for a handsome guy, I couldn't get angry, so I asked my current girlfriend to destroy the two of them, and sure enough, that handsome guy successfully got on the set, and it didn't take long to break up with my ex-girlfriend, Nima~ I now have another ex-girlfriend...
According to my mother, when I was more than a year old, my sister was nine years old at the time, and one day at noon, my mother was playing mahjong in the yard, and my sister was playing with me in the house. When it's time for my sister to go to school, she thinks I'm fun. So they took me to school in my school bag. Then confiscated by the teacher -_-||. My mom took me home after playing mahjong.
I went to my best friend's house to play, my best friend went grocery shopping, she called me to wait at home, and she went home immediately! Her husband is playing a game with his baby of more than 2 months in his arms! I brought the baby over and teased the baby while waiting for my girlfriend to come back! I don't know what's wrong, the baby suddenly drowned a mouthful of milk, just on my chest clothes, my best friend's husband saw it, and hurriedly found a paper to hand it to me, at this time, my best friend came back, I told my best friend: The child is drowning! The best friend was silent for a long time, and finally looked at her husband and said: Our son has never drowned milk, right? My best friend's husband nodded again and again, and then suddenly shook his head as if he understood something...
The husband begged his wife: "Wife, give a little more pocket money!" His wife glared at him and said, "Give me a reason to increase my pocket money!" The husband lowered his head and said, "Civil servants have all increased their salaries!" The wife scolded: "What does the salary increase of civil servants have to do with you?" The husband said loudly: "Why doesn't it matter, I'm your husband, I take care of the housework, I'm a member of the society, this is called a civil servant!" ”
Chasing the goddess, she put forward ten conditions, nine of which have been completed, the last one is: the body stands straight, the hands and feet are not allowed to move, and she is not allowed to take anything, she stands 18 centimeters away from me, and if she touches any part of her body, she agrees to my pursuit. Lao Tzu thought about it for 3 days, and pondered...
Eating at a food stall happens to be at the other table at the time of checkout. Then I heard the proprietress say, "Seventy-eight sixty-five, I will take you sixty, and I will come often in the future." ”
When I went to the park to play this morning, I met an 'old couple', they were as sweet as they were together, some talked and laughed, alas, poor my single dog, a little envious and jealous, who knew later, the old man said, why did you come out to accompany me for so long today?? The old lady replied, the old man in my family was taken by my son to check, I made an excuse not to go, and when I heard this, I instantly felt that there was no love in this world.
My family owns a large supermarket, so I suspect my girlfriend is following me for my money. Later I found out that I had misunderstood her, she was just there to eat!