Haruki Murakami said:
People who are really good to you are in the details, people will lie, but the details will not, love is the details, and neither is love.
Love or not, the details can be verified.
There are some men, no matter how sweet they say it, they can't hide the reality that they don't care.
Such a man likes to say a few things that seem to love you, but in fact he doesn't have you at all in his heart.
One
I'm doing this for your own good
There is a saying that says:
I love you, not because of who you are, but because I am in front of you, who you can be.
A man who truly loves you will definitely respect you, let you be yourself, and will definitely love you in a way that you can accept.
And a man who doesn't have you in his heart will only kidnap you with emotion and morality under the banner of "I'm doing this for your good", seeking selfish satisfaction for himself.
My little colleague Mingli, when she was married for three years, she resolutely filed for divorce from a man. The reason for divorce is that men are always selfish, and they can't use "for your good" to emotionally kidnap at every turn.
The most direct example is when a man forcibly pulls his mother-in-law into a small family in order to seek his own ease.
Mingli's mother-in-law is an uneducated rural woman, and she is very protective of her calves, in the eyes of her mother-in-law, her son is always the best, always right, and Mingli, the daughter-in-law, can always find all kinds of faults.
Because of this, when she got married, Mingli directly proposed not to live with her mother-in-law in the future. And the man swore at that time.
But after Mingli became pregnant, the man took his mother over as soon as possible, and said to Mingli confidently: I am all for your good, I often have to go to work, I can't take care of you, with my mother here, you and the child will be more comfortable and more at ease.
And the truth is that men just want to find a reason for their cheating and cheating, and use this opportunity to take their mother over to express their filial piety.
The mother-in-law and daughter-in-law war of chickens, dogs, and dogs began like this, and the man will always be the one who pretends to be deaf and dumb.
Mr. Yang Jiang has a saying:
People who care about you will take care of your emotions, and people who love you will share joys and sorrows with you.
And men who like to say "I'm all for your good" often only care about their own gains and losses, but don't take into account your feelings, and don't care about you at all.
Two
I care too much about you to do this
Writer Zhou Guoping said:
A sense of proportion is a sign of mature love, which knows how to observe the necessary distance between people in interpersonal interactions.
Whether it is between relatives or husband and wife, it is necessary to preserve the necessary sense of proportion and distance, respect each other, and give each other the most basic trust.
But a man who only talks about you and doesn't care about it will be under the banner of caring about you, full of control, and completely erase respect and trust.
Reader Meimei said that she chose to break up with a man because the man was too controlling of her.
Meimei is as her name suggests, she is very beautiful, and because of his beauty, men are very uneasy about Meimei from beginning to end, and regard all the opposite sex around Meimei as potential enemies, even if they just say a few words to Meimei, men will have all kinds of doubts and questions.
For a period of time, a new subway was being built near Meimei's unit, and it was very inconvenient to commute by direct bus.
When Meimei was tired and annoyed by the quarrel, and proposed to break up, the man apologized for all kinds of fools, and said firmly: I am so nervous because I care too much about you and our family, you should understand me.
Director Ang Lee said:
In any relationship, respect is more important than love.
A person who truly loves you will definitely give you space and freedom, and will not limit you, bind you, and make you unrecognizable in the name of love.
A mature and stable relationship often depends not on love, but on the harmony of the little things of everyday life.
A person who truly loves you will respect your personality, accept you as you are, and will be willing to make you who you are, rather than forcing you to live up to his expectations.
Love or not love, it's all in the details.