Ever wondered why men are hot and cold to you? What is the reason behind this? Don't worry, I'll tell you why and how to deal with this situation.
Whether you want to manage a relationship well or find a good relationship, you need to know men deeply. After all, to understand men, to conquer men. If you have more questions about male psychology, then you might as well take my course "Deciphering the Man's Heart".
To get back to the point, why do men be hot and cold to you? What I'm going to say next may be a bit heart-wrenching, but in relationships, these are realities that we need to face.
The first possibility is that the man is a scumbag.
When many students come to me for consultation, I sometimes feel that the other party may be a scumbag as soon as I listen to their questions. But the trainees are often incredulous and say, "Really? But he looks pretty honest. But being honest doesn't mean he's not a scumbag, so first of all, we must rule out this subjective judgment.
Then why is it easy for scumbags to be hot and cold to you? Actually, it's not really hot and cold, it's that his enthusiasm and attention are distracted. A scumbag often has more than just one woman, he may be in a relationship with multiple women at the same time. So, when he is cold to you, it is likely that he is transferring his passion to other women. And when he's passionate about you, that passion may be short-lived for other women as well. Therefore, one must be wary of this possibility.
The second may be disguised suppression.
You know, in addition to scumbags, there is also a kind of emotional master, such as those who are very good at flirting with girls. They're really smart and probably have taken some so-called "emotional lessons". They use hot and cold tactics to manipulate your emotions. When he's passionate about you, you feel like "Wow, he really loves me so much!" "But when he is cold to you, you feel so sad that you want to cry.
This technique is actually a push-pull technique. To push is to be cold to you, and to pull is to be enthusiastic to you. This can lead to self-doubt: "Am I not good enough?" Why did he treat me so well yesterday and suddenly ignore me today? Am I doing something wrong? "When you get caught up in this self-entanglement and the emotions of gain and loss, his purpose is achieved. You will value him more and feel that "he is really good to me". This is a disguised means of suppression in feelings.
The third possibility is that this hot and cold may be a precursor to a breakup.
Sometimes men show hot and cold, in fact, it reveals a "it doesn't matter" attitude.
He will talk to you when he is in a good mood, and he will love to talk to you when he is in a bad mood.
This attitude may be a sign that he wants to give up the relationship.
He may use this to make you feel unbearable and then offer to break up.
And when you propose to break up, he may also ask in a mocking way: "Do you really want to break up?" But in fact, he had already made a decision in his mind.
This is a sign of a relationship problem, simply put, he feels that you are not worth his continued efforts.
Let's talk about the fourth possibility, which is self-entanglement.
It's rare, but we need to be aware of it. What is self-entanglement? For example, a man will feel guilty in his heart after doing something that he is sorry for you, such as deviant behavior.
When he is happy outside, he will naturally be cold to you. But once he feels guilty, he may be more enthusiastic about you, such as buying you something or accompanying you to dinner, as a way to make amends.
In this case, his attitude will be hot and cold, and even his words will be contradictory. For example, in the morning, he said, "We can't get by", and in the evening, he said, "Wife, I love you".
This is the manifestation of his inner struggle.
These are the psychology of men who are hot and cold towards you. So, as a high-value woman, is there a way for you to get him? A must have! With just three key elements, you'll be on your way to tackling it.
First of all, be independent and self-reliant.
No matter what type of man he is, you have to remember that in a relationship, you have to be self-centered and not be led astray by his behavior.
Even if he's a scumbag, "You're a scumbag, so what does it have to do with me?" It doesn't matter to me what you do, I'll still live my life. ”
If he tries to suppress you, you don't bother either.
He wants to break up with you, and you don't have to care.
In short, you have to be self-centered, improve yourself, and enrich your life.
Remember, don't be led astray by a man, when he is cold, you will be so uncomfortable that you want S; When he's hot, you're so happy that you want S, then you've been taken by the other party.
Second, treat them equally.
I have found that some girls show excessive enthusiasm or indifference when faced with men's hot and cold situations. For example, when a man is cold to you, you are very enthusiastic and take the initiative to go to him, buy him things, and try to maintain the relationship. And when he is enthusiastic about you, you seem a little cold, even a little arrogant.
It's not good to do this because it can make the man feel that you don't care about the relationship and may give up the effort. So, the easiest way to do this is to treat them equally. When he is cold, you live your life and be cold to him; Wouldn't it be nice for you to cooperate with him when he's hot?
The last key point is to learn to create a sense of crisis.
Why do men dare to be hot and cold to you?
The reason why he is hot and cold to you, no matter what the psychology behind it is, in the final analysis, is because he thinks that you have fallen deeply in love with him, so he dares to be so presumptuous and unscrupulous.
Well, you have to do the other way around, and you can't be led by him. Take the initiative to create a sense of crisis for him and make him feel a little uneasy.
I'll give you a simple example, when he is cold to you, you can ask a few friends, including one or two male colleagues or classmates, to go out and have fun together.
Do you want to see if he will reach out to you because of this? Do you dare to keep cold to you after looking at him?
In a relationship, if you show that you are in a hurry, then he has succeeded. So, the key is to make him anxious so that you take the initiative. It's an iron law in relationships, get it?
I hope these are helpful for everyone's love life. If you want to know more about how to grasp the psychology of men and the skills of men, you can follow us. If you encounter specific problems, please feel free to send me a private message on the homepage.
Finally, I want to say that you deserve to be treated wholeheartedly, and I hope that every girl can be treated gently and reap their own happiness!