Will women over the age of 70 still be interested in the opposite sex?
Conventional wisdom holds that older people should enjoy their old age in peace and should no longer fall in love.
Especially for elderly women, everyone generally believes that they are already 70 years old, and they will no longer be as passionate about the opposite sex as they did in their teens and twenties.
But is that really the case?
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Blind date corner for the elderly in the park
In the blind date corner of the city park, it is always crowded. A group of gray-haired old men gathered, holding pieces of paper full of personal information in their hands, their eyes revealing anticipation and nervousness.
This is a common "blind date" scene in the city, and there are many elderly women in their seventies.
According to the forecast of the National Office on Ageing, by 2030, there will be more than 200 million empty nesters in the mainland.
According to the seventh census, the number of widows is approaching 50 million. Behind these numbers is the loneliness and longing in the hearts of countless elderly people.
A survey by the Chinese Academy of Social Sciences revealed that 80 percent of widows expressed a desire to remarry.
However, less than 10 per cent of marriages are actually put into action and registered. This large disparity reflects the many barriers that older people face in their pursuit of well-being.
In the Douban "Senior Activity Room" group, you can often see posts like this: "How to live hopefully and not be lonely, do you have any tricks?" "
Or, "Don't older people deserve love?" These sincere voices express the desire of the elderly for emotional companionship.
However, the blind date in reality is not easy. In the blind date corner, you can often see such a scene: a neatly dressed grandmother, carefully introducing herself to the old grandfather next to her, with a slight tremor in her voice.
And the people around them, some cast curious glances, and some showed disapproving expressions.
The pressure of public opinion, the complexity of family relationships, and the unavoidable blind date scams all make the elderly feel stressed when it comes to finding a partner.
A 73-year-old grandmother Wang said:
"We are looking for a partner at this age, not for vigorous love, but more to find a partner and take care of each other. But our children always think that we are not serious, and our neighbors will point fingers. "
Despite this, the desire for love and companionship among older people has not diminished.
Elderly people fall in love with the official account?
With the popularity of smartphones, some elderly people are gradually addicted to the online world, and even "fell in love" with the official account. Behind this phenomenon is a reflection of the emotional needs of the elderly and the lack of social attention.
The 25-year-old granddaughter found that her grandmother, who had always been normal, had been obsessed with WeChat video accounts and subscription accounts in the past two or three years.
Grandma hides in the room every day, holding her mobile phone and tablet, and sends messages to various accounts. She even tried to run away from home many times to "find love", which made her family very worried.
This is not an isolated case. Another netizen, Xiao Lin, also reflected that her grandmother was obsessed with the official account, thinking that the content was written specifically for her, and wanted to find a "lover" on the Internet.
The reporter's investigation found that the WeChat platform was flooded with a large number of accounts with the name of "XX brother".
Most of the content posted by these accounts is told in the first person, addressing subscribers as "sisters", making up emotional stories, and frequently asking for tips.
Many elderly users are convinced of this and even have sincere feelings.
Emotional dependence knows no age
From a psychological point of view, people's emotional needs are irrespective of age.
Whether young or twilight, everyone longs to be understood and loved. Older women's interest in the opposite sex is actually a manifestation of a natural psychological need.
First, older women seek emotional sustenance. As they grow older, many seniors face the loss of a partner, children leaving home, etc., and it is inevitable that they will feel empty inside.
A 75-year-old grandmother Zhang once said: "I don't want to find someone to marry, I just hope that someone can chat with me and talk about my heart." This need for emotional sustenance motivates them to remain open to the opposite sex.
Secondly, combating loneliness is an important reason for older women to develop heterosexual interest. The number of elderly people living alone is increasing, and loneliness has become a problem for many elderly people.
According to a survey, more than 60% of older adults report feeling lonely on a regular basis. An interest in the opposite sex can help them form new social relationships and fill in the gaps in their lives.
The pursuit of happiness in old age is also the motivation for older women to become interested in the opposite sex, and many older women hope to still experience the beauty of love in the last stage of their lives.
As an 80-year-old grandmother Wang said, "As I get older, I know how to cherish the happiness of every day." If you can meet a like-minded partner, it will be the greatest happiness in life. "
Older people also have physiological needs
Similarly, in addition to psychological needs, older people also have physical needs, and there is often a misconception about the sexual needs of older people.
In fact, from a physiological point of view, the sexual needs of the elderly have not disappeared, but have undergone a complex series of changes.
As we age, hormone levels do change in the body of older adults.
In men, testosterone levels gradually decline from around the age of 40, which can lead to decreased sexual function. In women, estrogen production decreases after menopause.
But that doesn't mean the need for emotion and intimacy disappears.
On the contrary, many older people cherish each other's company more, and many still maintain an active sex life.
According to research by Pan Suiming, a sexual sociologist at Renmin University, 53% of 55-61-year-olds have at least one sex per month.
This data breaks many people's stereotype that the elderly are "asexual". Also, the emotional needs of older people may be more intense than when they were younger.
Some studies have shown that about 30% of women have an increased libido after menopause.
This may be related to psychological factors, as they have more energy to focus on their own needs as the pressure at home and work decreases.
At the same time, no longer worrying about pregnancy also allows some women to enjoy their married life more relaxed.
Maintaining sex has a positive impact on the physical and mental health of older people. This behavior can increase the secretion of oxytocin and endorphins in the body, which can help relieve stress and improve sleep quality.
However, there are still many prejudices in society regarding the emotional needs of older people. Young people often find it difficult to accept the fact that their parents are still sexual.
This attitude reflects the incomprehension of young people about the emotional needs of older people.
They tend to associate sex with youth and beauty, ignoring that emotional needs are a basic human right, regardless of age.
Moreover, with the improvement of medical standards and the improvement of quality of life, more and more elderly people maintain good physical condition and are fully capable of maintaining a sexual life.
We should take a more open and inclusive view of the sexual needs of the elderly and create a friendly social environment for them.
At the same time, more social opportunities should be created for older people to help them find suitable partners.
As told in "Olive Kitteridge," those rough, old, wrinkled bodies are as full of longing as the young, tight bodies. This sentence speaks to the essence of the emotional needs of the elderly.
Guarding Twilight Love
At present, the road to love for the elderly is not smooth.
The first is opposition from children. Many children have a negative attitude towards the new relationship of the elderly out of concern for their parents' health and property.
A 68-year-old grandmother Zhang has revealed that when her children learned that she had a new friend, they immediately expressed strong opposition and even threatened to break off the relationship.
The pressure of public opinion cannot be ignored either.
Under the influence of traditional beliefs, many people believe that the elderly should keep to themselves and focus on taking care of their grandchildren.
According to an online survey on elderly love, more than 60% of respondents have a negative attitude towards elderly people falling in love.
This common prejudice has forced many older people to hide their feelings for fear of being pointed at by others.
Health issues are also a major challenge in older relationships. As we age, the physical function of the elderly gradually declines, and the incidence of various chronic diseases also increases.
This not only affects their quality of life, but also creates uncertainty in new relationships.
In the face of these challenges, how to correctly view and support elderly love has become a social topic worth exploring. First of all, children should treat their parents' emotional needs with understanding and respect.
They need to recognize that parents also have the right to pursue happiness. Instead of forceful opposition, it is better to give appropriate care and advice to help parents make rational decisions.
At the societal level, we need to create a more inclusive and understanding atmosphere. The media can help the public dispel prejudice against older love by reporting positive stories of older love.
Communities can also organise activities to provide more social opportunities for older people and make them feel supported and cared for by society.
For the elderly themselves, it is also necessary to remain rational and cautious in the pursuit of new feelings. They should fully consider their own health and financial means to choose the right way to get along.
At the same time, it is important to maintain good communication with your children so that the family understands and supports their decisions.
In addition, the elderly should also take care to protect their rights and interests against possible property disputes or fraud.
Finally, although there are many challenges in elderly love, as long as all sectors of society work together, we can create a more friendly and supportive environment for the elderly, so that they can enjoy the beauty of love in their old age.
After all, happiness and love are ageless, and everyone has the right to pursue happiness.
Resources
1. The desire for immortality, the tangled sex and love of the elderly under the blind spot of the industry - The Paper, June 27, 2020
2. The elderly's view of love, 30 years ahead of me - New Weekly, published on January 24, 2024
3. The number of twilight lovers is increasing year by year, and the elderly have joys and worries on blind dates - Luoyang.com News, released on March 13, 2023
4. The elderly are addicted to the official account, and even "fall in love" with the official account? Wary! ——Guangming.com, released on November 27, 2023
5. Elderly people are active in the blind date corner of the park: some people are eager to fall in love with young people, and some people just want to live together - Jiupai News, February 1, 2024