01
In the fall of 1990, Fang Xiaohua was born in Hubei.
She was born with black hair, large eyes, and skin that was not as white as a newborn.
Everyone said that Fang Xiaohua was like her father, Fang Xiaohua's mother was not good-looking, and it was said that she came from the mountains to join her relatives, but when her relatives died, she married Fang Xiaohua's father in the same village.
At that time, rural people generally had low education, and they went home to work after studying in elementary school, and Fang Xiaohua's parents were the same.
Fang Xiaohua is very smart, she can write when she is 3 years old, and she can recite poems, her father hugged her and said that she will be sent to preschool at the age of five, and she will be able to go to elementary school at the age of six, and she may be able to go to high school in the future.
Fang Xiaohua's mother's name is Lin Ju, and she looked at the father and daughter with a smile, full of expectations for the future.
But who knew that only three months later, all this changed, Fang Xiaohua's father accidentally poisoned and died when he was spraying crops. After Fang Xiaohua's grandparents finished their son's funeral, they left Fang Xiaohua and Lin Ju alone and drove them out.
Lin Ju had no relatives or friends in the local area, and she couldn't afford to raise Xiaohua alone, so she gave Xiaohua away to a couple in their 40s who had no children in Linxian County.
Half a year later, Lin Ju found a man to get married, and came back to take Xiaohua away, but the old couple disagreed and asked for 8,000 yuan, which was in 1994, Lin Ju couldn't get the money at all, so she had to give up.
4-year-old Xiaohua has lived with her adoptive parents ever since.
02
Xiaohua was ignorant, and gradually kissed her adoptive parents.
Her adoptive parents also changed her surname to Zhao Xiaohua.
Because the adoptive parents couldn't have children, when they were in their 20s, they adopted a daughter, and now they are in their 20s and married to other places, and occasionally come back to see, Xiaohua calls her sister.
Xiaohua is 6 years old, and she is full of wit, but when it comes to the beginning of the school season, her adoptive parents do not send her to study, and the people in the village gradually gossip.
There are kind and bold people who run to cry out for Xiaohua, "Why don't you send others to school when you raise them, isn't this harmful?" ”
The adoptive mother splashed out a basin of water and scolded viciously: "It's your business! ”
Even if there are good people who stand up for Xiaohua, no one can be the master of Xiaohua.
After Xiaohua was 8 years old, she began to herd cattle for her adoptive father, and drove two cows all over the mountains and fields alone, picking wild fruits to eat, and was not afraid to see snakes, wearing the old clothes that her sister left at home before she got married.
Xiaohua likes to listen to them, and she also asked her adoptive mother about going to school, and her adoptive mother said, "It's useless to go to school, your sister has been studying for so many years, and she is not married to farm." ”
Xiaohua glanced at her adoptive father pitifully, hoping that he could speak for herself, but her adoptive father was a taciturn man, and he didn't talk much at home, always sitting on the threshold and smoking a cigarette pouch, and everything in the house was decided by the adoptive mother.
My sister married in the same town, which is not too far away, but she only comes back three times a year, so Xiaohua is not close to her.
Every time my sister comes back, she doesn't stay overnight, and she always comes back alone, Xiaohua has been in this house for four years, and she hasn't seen her brother-in-law once.
My sister will occasionally buy Xiaohua a cheap dress, or a snack, a small favor, but it is very precious to Xiaohua, so Xiaohua likes her sister.
Xiaohua has never had long hair, she has always had short ear-length hair, and she sells her hair once a year, and the money goes to her adoptive mother.
When Xiaohua was 12 years old, at the beginning of her life, her sister would buy sanitary napkins for Xiaohua, and when her sister was away, her adoptive mother only used toilet paper for her, the kind of yellowed cheap toilet paper in the store by the pound.
There are two small shops in the village, Xiaohua often goes shopping, but they are all bought for her adoptive parents, soy sauce and vinegar and other daily necessities, once Xiaohua couldn't help but buy a pack of spicy strips, and secretly ate it on the way before going home, and after the adoptive mother found out, she scolded her for half an hour.
Xiaohua didn't say a word, sat in the yard, saw her adoptive father peeling broad beans, walked over and squatted on the side to help peel the beans, the adoptive father gave the small stool to Xiaohua to sit on, the fresh smell of broad beans poured into her nose, Xiaohua suddenly wanted to cry, but she didn't dare to cry, I don't know why I cried, I only knew that it was useless to cry.
She buried her head in her knees and wiped her eyes hard.
03
In a blink of an eye, Xiaohua was 15 years old.
This year, Lin Ju came to Xiaohua again, but this time Xiaohua was unwilling to leave. Her heart has no place to go, Lin Ju gave birth to two more children after getting married, what can she do if she goes with her, she has never read a book, she is full of fear of the outside world, and her mother can't bring her a sense of security.
Now, the only thing that can make her feel at ease is her adoptive mother.
Lin Ju saw that her daughter refused to leave, so she could only leave in disappointment.
The 15-year-old Xiaohua is very tall, because she often does farm work, she also looks stout and healthy, and her face has two healthy blushes floating all year round. In addition to helping the family with farm work, she was also assigned by her adoptive mother to plant rice and pick tea to make money, and on early summer nights, she also took a flashlight to the wilderness to catch centipedes, and from time to time in the mountains would meet a man who caught centipedes, or fresh graves.
A man 12 years older than her in the neighbor's house, named Song Aijun, has come to help Xiaohua's family every now and then, and will quietly buy some head ropes and the like to give to Xiaohua, he uses branches to write Xiaohua's name in the snow, holding her hand to teach her to write.
She stared at the name on the snow, and her heart was not very happy.
Since Xiaohua was 16 years old, Song Aijun seems to have become a member of his adoptive parents' family, as long as he works, he comes, with him, Xiaohua is not so tired, she is a little happy, but only because of less work.
One day, her adoptive mother quietly asked her if she liked Song Aijun. Although Xiaohua has never read a book, she has watched TV series, so she naturally knows what it is like to like it at this age, so she probably understands her adoptive mother's intentions.
Xiaohua didn't say she liked it, she didn't say she didn't like it, she knew that it was useless for her to say it.
When she was 18 years old, she seemed to have become Song Aijun's woman, he would take her to the street on a motorcycle, buy her clothes and food, Xiaohua thought, this seems to be nothing wrong.
At the end of that year, on a very cold night, Song Aijun drank with his adoptive father, and after drinking, he stayed in Xiaohua's room. Song Aijun's family is also very poor, and his parents have always been worried that their son will not be able to marry a daughter-in-law, and they are also very polite to Xiaohua, a cheap daughter-in-law.
In the spring of the second year, a wedding was held for them, and the money collected by Xiaohua naturally went to the adoptive parents, and the money collected by Song Aijun's family was also given to the adoptive mother as a bride price.
The two families are not far away, and life is also harmonious.
When she got married, her sister also came back to see Xiaohua and bought her a red dress to wear on her wedding day. Xiaohua and her sister are too different in age, and the two stand together like mother and daughter. The sister asked Xiaohua, "Is he good to you?" ”
Xiaohua thought about it carefully, although Song Aijun was older and didn't look very good, she didn't dislike that she hadn't read and was not as good to herself as she was before she got married, but she still nodded.
My sister wanted to say something, but she couldn't say anything.
04
About her sister, Xiaohua overheard her mother-in-law say.
When the adoptive mother first adopted her sister, she was very kind to her sister, bought her new clothes, read to her, and went to junior high school, but after graduation, her sister went out to work and talked about a boyfriend.
The adoptive mother said, "I raised you for you to study, and you want to abandon us, are you still human?" ”
Then, the adoptive mother found a local man for her sister to join.
After my sister got married, my adoptive mother hid outside their door every once in a while and eavesdropped, and the son-in-law couldn't stand it anymore and filed for divorce and ran away.
My sister also had a falling out with her adoptive parents, went to work in other places, and never came back for two or three years, and finally talked about a local boyfriend, and only came back to see her adoptive parents after getting married, only to know that they had adopted a little daughter.
But she never came back with her husband and children.
When Xiaohua heard this, she finally understood why her adoptive mother refused to let her study, she was afraid that Xiaohua would be at the mercy of herself after reading the book, just like her sister.
Song Aijun is also very tired, doing the work of two families alone, Xiaohua's adoptive parents are too old, and the heavy work falls on Song Aijun's shoulders, when it comes to the busy farming season, he is often so tired that he can't speak, and Xiaohua is often called back by his adoptive mother to do some trivial housework.
Fortunately, her mother-in-law was not bad to Xiaohua, and she always persuaded Xiaohua to secretly save money by herself and not to give all the money to her adoptive mother.
The mother-in-law was good to Xiaohua, but she became a thorn in the side of the adoptive mother, saying that the mother-in-law taught Xiaohua not to be filial to her, because Xiaohua helped her mother-in-law do a little more work, and the adoptive mother came to the door of her mother-in-law's house and scolded.
Not to be outdone, her mother-in-law scolded her in-laws, but the result was that her adoptive mother asked Xiaohua to divorce Song Aijun.
The mother-in-law brought a gift to the door to make peace with Xiaohua's adoptive mother.
Because everyone knows that Xiaohua can't be the master, she followed her adoptive mother when she was less than 4 years old, and her feelings are complicated.
Over the years, the people in the village have hated Xiaohua's adoptive mother's family, and the neighbors around them have no one to care for their adoptive parents except Song Aijun's family. When there is something going on in the village, the neighbors will help each other, and although they look down on each other in private, at least they maintain a semblance of peace.
However, the adoptive parents' rice drying on the road was swept away by the sudden heavy rain, and no neighbor came to help.
The pity of others for Xiaohua was also consumed because of her adoptive mother.
05
Xiaohua reached the age of 20 and got a certificate with Song Aijun.
The adoptive parents were over 60 years old and couldn't farm anymore, so they transferred all the family's fields to Song Aijun, and the money they earned was divided into one-third of their rent.
Xiaohua and Song Aijun are very diligent, especially Xiaohua, she even learned to drive a tractor, although she has not gone to school for a day, she is kind and polite, completely different from her adoptive mother, she seems to understand that no one can be relied on except herself, but she has never studied, and there is no way out in the countryside, she can only work hard.
In the past five years, Xiaohua gave birth to two children one after another, a son and a daughter, and life gradually became more and more colorful.
Of course, it is just that in Xiaohua's limited vision and feelings, life is getting better day by day, but the hardships suffered in the past will not disappear, and the regret of not reading books cannot be made up.
Xiaohua is 25 years old, and she doesn't have any friends, and many little daughters-in-law who marry into the village can soon talk together and make appointments to catch up with the market, but Xiaohua can only work and has nothing to do with them, because the adoptive mother is not popular, and those young daughters-in-law are not very willing to have anything to do with them.
Time flies, and life is still hard.
Xiaohua is 30 years old, and she looks like she is 40 years old, because Song Aijun's health is not as good as a year after year, and all the heavy work at home falls on Xiaohua alone.
Probably because of this, Xiaohua gradually has a little say in her mother's family and her mother-in-law's family.
The adoptive mother's adoptive mother's complicity turned into a whisper, and the adoptive father was still like a breathing dummy, more silent than ever.
Xiaohua's children reached the age of going to school, other children walked to school, she rode a motorcycle to send her children to school, after the village primary school was closed, Xiaohua did not discuss with Song Aijun, so she enrolled them in the town's primary school, and there was a school bus to pick up and drop off every day.
The mother-in-law died first, and a year later, the father-in-law also died, followed by the adoptive father.
The adoptive father coughed all day long, and one day suddenly didn't hear him cough, the adoptive mother ran to inform Xiaohua, Xiaohua stepped into the adoptive parents' room expressionlessly, and after experiencing the funeral of her in-laws, Xiaohua was fearless and not sad.
Xiaohua also informed her sister, and the sisters sent their adoptive father to the funeral home together.
After the death of her adoptive father, her adoptive mother became much more docile, and she treated Song Aijun better than before.
Xiaohua's mind is on the children, she only hopes that the children will study hard and live the life they want in the future, and don't delay their lives in the countryside like her.
06
There is also a family in the village that adopted a daughter.
Xiaohua knew the girl, about the same age as her, but in a completely different situation from her, the girl went to college, stayed in the city to work, and also made a home in the city, but often came back to see her adoptive parents.
Xiaohua's adoptive mother ran to show off to others, "It's also an adopted daughter, you see your daughter ran away, and my daughter is still doing her filial piety in front of her." ”
People said, "When I raise a child, I don't want her to stay with me to fulfill her filial piety." ”
The adoptive mother went back very proudly and told Xiaohua about it.
Xiaohua listened, but just hooked the corners of her mouth and smiled bitterly. She had long foreseen that in the future, her children would go to study wherever they wanted, and they would live whatever life they wanted, and she raised them only out of love, not in return.
She didn't understand the child's homework at all, and once, after being ridiculed by her son, she hit him for the first time.
This year, Xiaohua is 34 years old, and has been adopted by her adoptive mother for a full 30 years, and now Xiaohua is like the image of a middle-aged rural woman, and her adoptive mother's health is getting worse day by day, and her sister has become a grandmother last year.
Song Aijun is 46 years old, and gradually has the appearance of a little old man, the heavy work is all done by Xiaohua, Xiaohua works day after day, and she is in a daze at home when the farm is idle, in the era when everyone plays with mobile phones, she can't understand anything except short videos, she can only send voice and video with WeChat, and in the WeChat groups of the children's school, there is only Song Aijun, and Song Aijun goes to the parent-teacher meeting.
Until one day, Xiaohua saw a video on the Internet to teach people to learn to write, after she learned to write the names of her son and daughter, she was very excited, and listened to the lecture in the live broadcast room on time every day.
Xiaohua learns slowly, rediscovering the world as she did as a baby, working during the day and learning at night.
The originally stereotyped life suddenly had a different expectation, and Xiaohua's heart gushed with enthusiasm that she had never had.
Xiaohua had never been to the city, and Song Aijun had also mentioned taking her there, but she always felt like a black hole in her heart, and the constant fear drowned her. is only 34 years old, but Xiaohua always feels that she is old, so old that she doesn't feel particularly painful about the passage of time and the death of her relatives.
But now Xiaohua suddenly wanted to go to the city to see, and she finally realized that she was still young, her life was still very long, and there were other possibilities.
She also believes that the future will be better.