A class teacher's big truth: what is more "harmful" than early love is the "poisonous friendship" of junior high school students

Mom and Dad read intensively

2024-05-27 18:14Posted in Jiangxi Parenting Field Creator

Author: Xing Ran (Parents Intensive Reading Author)

Confucius said: "The beneficiary has three friends, and the loser has three friends." Friendship is straight, friendship is forgiving, friends are more heard, and it is beneficial. Friends are friendly, friendly and soft, friends are good, and they are damaged. ”

It means to make friends with people who are honest and upright, erudite and talented, and those who are contrary to the yang and yin, who are rhetorical, have incorrect views, and like to go astray, should stay away.

What is a good friend?

In the cognition of junior high school students, they are ignorant.

From elementary school to junior high school, I have just begun to explore the world, and I am not yet able to distinguish between good and bad.

Children at this stage are also in the stage of making friends, but not all friends are worth making, so parents need to check their children and teach them how to make friends correctly.

After all, "poisonous friendship" is more terrible than early love.

The "poisonous friendship", which is more terrible than early love, is spreading among junior high school students

In Child Psychology, the psychologist Rudolph said: "Peer friendship has a very strong influence on children, sometimes even beyond the influence of parents." ”

Junior high school is a particularly critical stage in a student's life, which will directly affect the healthy growth of children in the future.

Has your child ever been in a similar situation:

Doing something inappropriate in order to please the friend in your mouth;

When I got home, I told you that I was ridiculed by a classmate today, and classmate always said something negative;

being instigated by classmates to do things that they never dared to do before;

When chatting with friends, I find that I always talk about other classmates;

I get along well with my friends, but after my friends take exams over my children, they start to distance themselves from their children and speak ill of them behind their backs......

At this time, you should start to pay attention to your child's friendship, perhaps the "toxic friendship" has begun to spread.

1. Like to laugh at others

Most children in adolescence are a bit rebellious, like to laugh at others, expose others' shortcomings, and even take it as pleasure to laugh at others' weaknesses.

You will laugh at the weight of your classmates, and you will laugh at your classmates' appearance......

After being ridiculed, some students were extremely depressed and even thought of committing suicide.

And these children who laugh at others do not know how serious the consequences of their actions are for their peers.

This kind of "poisonous friendship", please stop it in time.

2. Friends who always pay attention to negative things

It is said that only by being positive and optimistic can we go through the four seasons of life.

In the process of making friends, junior high school students have an invisible danger, that is, friends will always say some negative words in the child's ear, such as this life is really boring, this teacher is too bad in class, etc.

Over time, children will also be affected by the negative emotions of these classmates.

Gradually, as soon as I encounter some difficulties, I will feel that life is really boring;

When I take that teacher's class, I will feel more and more that this teacher is really bad, which eventually leads to a drop in grades and a lack of interest in life.

Such "toxic friendships" not only affect the child's normal values, but also make the child live in negative emotions all the time.

3. Like to talk about others behind your back

Junior high school students are still in the exploration stage of life, and they don't understand so many people's feelings and sophistication.

For the friends they think, they will put their hearts into their hearts, especially girls, and confide in each other some little secrets.

Then, it didn't take long to find out that almost all the students in the class knew their little secrets.

Most of these students are jealous, and they put one thing in front of them and one thing behind their backs, which puts the child in an extremely embarrassing situation, and sometimes even leaves a particularly bad impression in the hearts of their classmates.

Shakespeare said, "The poison of the tongue is better than the poison of the snake and the scorpion." ”

Such a poisonous friend, hurry up and stay away.

Children in junior high school are the most likely to be led astray, and parents should observe their children's movements and emotions and do a good job of counseling in time.

We can't stop children from making friends, but we can help them do that.

It is necessary for children to realize that true friendship is to learn to share, take responsibility, help each other and grow in learning.

The child has a "toxic friendship", and his life has taken ten more detours

It is said that the school is a small society.

In this "society", you can see how your children are in interpersonal relationships and what their code of conduct is, and of course it is related to what kind of friends they make at this stage.

In junior high school, the role of friends is the most important, and a word or behavior of a friend may affect a child's life.

It is said that a friend is staggered in junior high school, and there are 10 more detours in life.

A good friendship can make a child happy for a lifetime, and "toxic friendship" can make a child fall into a catastrophe, which is by no means alarmist.

See such a story:

Yangyang has been a good child of "other people's families" since he was a child.

has been talented and intelligent since childhood, and his performance in all aspects has also made his parents happy, and he won awards at a young age.

After entering junior high school, in order to expand his circle of friends, he began to learn to smoke with his friends.

In a self-study class, a group of students skipped class and hid in the toilet to smoke, and were caught by the teacher, including Yangyang.

The teacher called Yang Yang to the office, talked to him earnestly, and asked, "Why are you skipping class?" Why learn to smoke? ”

At this time, Yangyang's answer made the teacher cry and laugh: "My friends are all smoking, if I don't smoke, it will not be righteous." ”

In order to get the approval of his so-called buddies, he skipped class and smoked, thinking that in this way he could fit in with everyone, thinking that he would not be isolated.

This is the immature opinion of junior high school students about friendship.

Writer Jiang Fangzhou once said: "Those who really appreciate you are appreciating your pride, not your pretending to be humble or pretending to be likable." ”

When I was in junior high school, I couldn't distinguish right from wrong very well, but I regarded following the trend and fighting righteousness as a manifestation of my social awesomeness.

As everyone knows, such a "poisonous friendship" will make a child willing to fall and there is no turning back.

"Toxic friendship" is really terrible, not only affecting the child's physical and mental health, but also bringing negative emotions and making the child gradually depressed.

In the long run, it will also bring wrong values to the child, so that he can look at the world with "colored" glasses.

As a parent, you should always be kind enough to remind your child of the importance and importance of making friends, and also encourage your child to pursue higher ideals and cultivate his own lofty goals.

Be a "snobbish" parent and escort your child's growth

The juvenile delinquency investigation report shows that most juvenile crimes are due to making some "toxic friendships" and begin to go to the abyss.

Professor Li Meijin said: "When it comes to making friends with children, parents should be snobbish. ”

Since making friends is an inevitable part of children's growth and understanding of the world, it is especially important to screen friends.

Don't let "toxic friendship" ruin your own children.

1. Stay away from children who love to show off

The progress of society and the affluent family background have also become the conditions for children to compare.

There are always some children who like to show off their "achievements" in front of their classmates: they buy a pair of designer shoes today, and wear a designer clothes tomorrow......

There is even more than the equipment of online games.

Whoever has good equipment and who has a high game level is the boss.

Such friendship hurried away.

After a long time, it will not only make your own children fall, but also affect the positioning of the three views.

Once parents find these signs, they should stop them in time, of course, in an enlightening way to avoid rebellion.

After all, a good friendship is: no more than food and clothing, more than learning; Not more than money, more than ability; Not more than the present, more than the future.

2. People who stay away from PUA and their own children

As the saying goes, we are not RMB, and we can't be liked by everyone.

In junior high school, children can't distinguish between classmates who are mind-controlling over others.

Some students usually behave more domineering and possessive.

"If you don't listen to me, I won't play with you; We have such a good relationship, you won't be so stingy; I'm doing this for your own good, and you're right to listen to me. ”

Such friends will make children have a wrong perception, always feel that the other party is good for themselves, and should listen to their friends.

As everyone knows, this is the invisible PUA.

Mind control is also a kind of "toxic friendship".

When children develop three views, they must stay away from such groups.

3. Stay away from friends who encourage children to lie down and win together

In the process of making friends, there are always some children who make such sounds:

How boring it is to write homework, come out and play, anyway, no matter how hard you try, you may not be able to get into a good university;

What to learn, just make up for it before the exam.

These classmates always show a state of being very profane about their studies.

When I got home in the evening, I worked hard to write and challenge to read at night.

Every time I take an exam, I always rank at the top of my class.

Such friendships should be kept away.

In this world, geniuses are rare, and all success is the result of hard work.

And those who encourage their children not to study are destined to have ulterior motives.

A child who doesn't have even the most basic integrity can bring anything better to others.

At the same time, as a junior high school student, you also need to improve yourself and don't lower yourself in order to make friends.

The circle is different, it is difficult to force, do not fall into self-internal friction, and thus become a sensitive and fragile self-personality.

Spend more time with people who are on the same frequency as yourself and make yourself lighter.

True friendship is one that supervises each other, encourages each other, and makes progress together.

I agree with a sentence: "Be with the wise, walk with the masters, work with the sages, borrow the wisdom of others, and achieve yourself." ”

The key to education is to let children have a clear understanding of the world when they first know the world, and not be hurt by "toxic friendship".

Learn to be a mentor and friend to your children, listen to your children's voices, judge your children's friendships, and be a "snobbish" parent at any time to escort your child's growth.

Let children get nourishment and positive energy on the road of growth and during the period of making friends.

I hope all children will grow up healthy and strong.

About the author: Xing Ran Zhiran, the author of Fushu, if a person wants to succeed, not to be hindered, not to be tempted, this is the shielding force, article: Mom and Dad Evolution, Fushu has launched the 4th new book, the copyright of this article belongs to Fushu, without authorization, it may not be reprinted, and infringement must be investigated

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