There are many ways to get along with couples.
Respecting each other, raising eyebrows, singing and following women, etc., all look very good.
In the Tao Te Ching, Lao Tzu put forward the idea of "ruling by doing nothing", that is, letting us know that there are things to do and things not to do.
Many things, once too much are done, they become entangled, which is really too much.
Once you do too much, you are tired and out of breath, and the other party is very dissatisfied.
In the family, husbands and wives cooperate with each other and do not get tired of work, if the wife is very capable and lets her husband be idle, or let the husband live under her control, disaster will most likely occur.
Wife, there are a few good things you can do, but don't do them all, remember.
01
As a wife, you can work hard to earn money, but don't help your husband support the family.
During the Western Han Dynasty, Zhuo Wenjun, as the daughter of a rich family, married the poor boy Sima Xiangru.
After marriage, it becomes difficult for both husband and wife to get by. Had to sell the carriage and open a small hotel.
In the feudal era, Zhuo Wenjun bravely showed up, sold wine in the store, and also worked hard to support Sima Xiangru to study.
Later, Sima Xiangru became an official, so he empathized and said goodbye.
Faced with her husband's approach, Zhuo Wenjun wrote: "Sadness is sad, and there is no need to cry when you get married." The bamboo pole is curling, and the fish tail is detached. ”
There is a swearing: "Raise a little white face." ”
We devalue those men who rely on women to be worthless, and they can't hold their heads up in the crowd.
If a woman is very powerful, what if she can support seven or eight people with a monthly income? At this time, don't men stop working, just eat and drink at home every day? The answer is clearly no.
Writer Zhang Hong said: "Marriage is not 1 + 1 = 2, but 0.5 + 0.5 = 1. ”
The ancients also had a similar experience, such as a line in Huangmei Opera: "You carry water to me to water the garden, you weave cloth to me to plow the field." Although the cold cave is broken, it can shelter from the wind and rain, and the love of husband and wife is bitter and sweet. ”
Husband and wife support their families together, so that men know the difficulty of making money, and also feel the joy of making money. Wives also have to spur and supervise when their husbands are not earning money to support the family.
Maybe men don't make as much money as women, but it doesn't matter, as long as they are working hard, this family will be thriving, and husbands and wives will always be worthy, and no one will look at anyone's face to eat.
02
As a wife, you can make suggestions, but don't help your husband make decisions.
Who is the head of the family? The wife needs to think about it.
If your wife is in charge, you will inevitably be very tired, and you may fall into the narrow thinking of "long hair, short knowledge".
In "Memories of Autumn Lanterns", Qiu Fu married Jiang Tan, a scholar.
After getting married, Jiang Tan passed the Xiucai examination, and then went to the township test, but failed twice.
Faced with a bad career, Jiang Tan slacked off and expressed his feelings that he didn't want to continue.
Qiu Fu wrote a pair of words to help Jiang Tan make a decision: "Life is often captured by misname, read at that time, the fireflies are old, and several people are endowed with words." If the gourd is painted like this, how can the woodcutter laugh at you. ”
Qiu Fu thinks that this fame is fake, forget it, let's have fun in time.
As everyone knows, the husband is no longer aggressive, and the family's expenses are continuing, which makes the family more and more difficult.
When Qiu Fu fell ill, he couldn't be cured, woohoo. The husband has no ability to support the family, and there is really no cure.
In the feudal era, a man who reads books is the best way to become famous in one fell swoop, and if you decide to give up, you need to be cautious. After all, if there is no merit, there will be no family business. You can't get by.
Usually, in a good family, the husband and wife can decide on their own in small matters, but major matters will definitely be discussed, and the final decision is made by the husband.
The wife can put herself in her own shoes, make suggestions, or encourage her husband to move towards his ideals, but she cannot decide. After all, a lifetime and decades, a wrong decision, is not a joke.
Doing business, quitting a job, setting up a factory, changing careers, etc., are all major decisions that cannot be sloppy. We should encourage husbands to be assertive, rather than mothers-in-law, and become more and more unstructured under the guidance of women.
03
As a wife, you can have filial piety, but don't take care of your parents-in-law.
A wife is also a daughter-in-law, and there seems to be no hard and fast rule on whether to be filial to her parents-in-law or not.
But in real life, the husband walks around the old people every day, and the development of this family is unbearable. Therefore, the wife will help take care of the elderly.
The ancients also said, "A virtuous wife and a husband are less evil." ”
When the wife is at home and takes care of the elderly and children, the husband will be more at ease to work and make more money.
It is the duty of a wife to be a good helper, but the wife should not take on the task of taking care of her parents-in-law alone.
In psychology, there is an effect called the "responsibility diffusion effect", from which a new concept is derived - the bystander effect.
In other words, if the wife takes care of all the filial things, then the rest of the family will watch from the sidelines, rather than take a hand. Especially the husband's siblings thought that someone was in charge of the elderly, so they simply avoided it.
When the responsibility of filial piety is shouldered by a woman alone, it is often thankless. You have to pay for medicine, you have to serve tea and water, you have to wash and scrub, and you will hear a lot of gossip.
There are always people who think that women are not doing a good job and what they should be doing is not in place. I don't think it's a woman helping.
Filial piety is the responsibility of all children, and it should be dispersed into several points, and everyone should have time to accompany them, do not leave regrets, and do not take it for granted.
04
There is a saying in the "Warning Words": "The momentum cannot be exhausted, the blessings cannot be exhausted, the advantages cannot be exhausted, and the wisdom cannot be exhausted." ”
As a wife, no matter how big her ability is, she must also have the side of "little birds and people" and know how to be a weak woman.
A good wife, because she is weak, gets more love from her husband, which also highlights her husband's status in the family and gives her husband enough face.
A wise wife, while working hard, will also invite her husband to accompany her, rather than soaring alone.
Husband and wife can grow old together, and if one person walks too fast, the person who walks slowly will be lost.
People, it is duty to help, and it is hatred to help.
Author: Cloth Clothes Coarse Food.
Follow my words and go into your heart.
The pictures in the article come from the Internet.