In the history of Chinese literature, the most misunderstood book is "The Golden Vase Plum".
I haven't read it when it's a little yellow book, thinking it's full of paper.
Those who have read it understand that in fact, what is written in the book is more about the hot and cold world.
Husbands and wives have their own selfish intentions, friends calculate each other, when they are rich and noble, they tend to be inflammatory, and when they are down, everyone falls into the well.
Whether it is a high-ranking official or a rich gentry, or a poor beggar, each has its own unbearable, but also has its own sadness.
The 12 unspoken rules hidden in the book seem to be heart-wrenching, but they tell through the bitterness and sweetness of real life.
1
In any era, talking about money is a rigid need for marriage
Among Ximenqing's six wives and concubines, the one who can compete for favor the most is Pan Jinlian.
has no bottom line to welcome her husband, excludes other women by any means, and can't wait to put Ximen Qingba in her room every day.
When I first read it, I thought she was greedy by nature, and after reading too much, I noticed the desolation of Pan Jinlian hidden behind Bahu.
She came from a humble background, neither Wu Yueniang's main house identity, nor Li Bei'er's rich private house, if she wanted to live a nourishing life in the mansion, she could only put down her self-esteem to please her husband.
When I was young, I always thought that marriage was the destination of love, and after I got married, I realized that the essence of life is the union of interests.
Whoever is in charge of the money will have a hard waist, and whoever reaches out for money will have a low posture.
In the chicken feathers of life, talking about love is just a conflation, and talking about money is just what is needed.
2
The more you love, the more you lose
is also a rich widow remarried, Meng Yulou and Li Bei'er were treated differently when they entered the door.
Ximenqing heard from the matchmaker that there was a widow named Meng Yulou who was born beautiful and had a rich private house, so he hurriedly married him with a big gift, lest he miss the opportunity.
But before Li Bei'er got married, he had many trysts with Ximenqing, and he also took the initiative to offer a large amount of property.
The people and money have been received, and Ximen Qing is not enthusiastic about marrying, but Li Bei'er is trying to marry, and he does not hesitate to endure humiliation and suffering.
Many people think that if you love someone, you will be good to her wholeheartedly, but they ignore that the essence of love has always been a game, not an equivalent exchange.
The more you give, the lower the bottom line, and the easier it is to get, the less you will cherish it.
Therefore, at any time, you must first keep three points to love yourself, and then use seven points to love others.
3
The more difficult it looks to be bullied, the less likely it is to be bullied
Once, the ladies and ladies outside had a banquet for the big girls in each room.
In terms of status, it is headed by the maid of the eldest lady Wu Yueniang, but at the banquet, everyone is holding Pan Jinlian's maid Chunmei.
There is no other reason, because Pang Chunmei is too difficult to mess with.
She doesn't take the initiative to offend others, but once people offend her, she immediately scolds her.
Ximen Qing is biased, and Chunmei dares to refute it in person.
It's just that Ximenqing eats this set, and often coaxes her with good words, which makes Chunmei's status more and more transcendent.
Sometimes, the more difficult you are to bully, the less likely you are to be bullied, because it is the nature of most people to bully the soft and fear the hard.
Blind weakness will only make the wicked gain an inch; A moderate amount of toughness will win the respect of others.
Just don't forget, there are rules for everything.
Only by following the principles of the world and treating others with a degree can we be invincible for a long time.
4
People are always jealous of people who are similar to themselves
With the help of Pan Jinlian, Ximen Qing and the maid Song Huilian achieved good deeds.
Song Huilian was not grateful, but slandered Pan Jinlian in every possible way.
Because in her opinion, the two are of similar background and beauty, but they are just a little unlucky, so they can only be slaves.
So she stepped on Pan Jinlian everywhere, but she only had envy and no jealousy for Wu Yueniang, Li Bei'er and others, who had a more glamorous life.
Psychologists say that people who are much better than themselves always worship and admire, but they can't see similar people around them, and they live better than themselves.
Either torment yourself in jealousy, or find a way to hurt the other person, but forget that you can't live well if you pull others down.
If you have such friends, please stay away.
5
Kindness should be reserved for the right people
After Li Bei'er married into the Ximen family, with her generosity and gentle temperament, she quickly won praise from all over the world.
She is the best to Pan Jinlian, not only often giving clothes and jewelry, but also respecting Jinlian's mother.
But when Li Bei'er gave birth to a son and got Ximenqing's sole favor, it was Pan Jinlian who hated her the most.
She set up a poisoning scheme to kill the child, and Li Bei'er also died of depression.
Since childhood, we have been taught that giving roses to others, having fragrance in our hands, and being kind to others are the best qualities of a person.
After going through ups and downs, I know that not all people are worthy of being treated with kindness.
Only good people will remember kindness, but bad people only regard kindness as weakness and oppress them even more.
Therefore, please remember that kindness must have a bottom line, and good deeds must have a sharp edge.
Don't use the good to condone the evil, but harm others and yourself.
6
It's not that you're bad, it's that the people you've met are wrong
Meng Yulou is tall, fair-skinned and beautiful, transparent and capable, and is a very attractive woman.
But Ximenqing only likes petite women, and he is very bland to Meng Yulou.
She thought that the rest of her life would be so dull, but unexpectedly, after Ximenqing's death, Li Yanei fell in love with her at first sight.
not only hired him as his wife with a large amount of money, but also disobeyed his father for her.
Meng Yulou finally waited for her own happiness, even though she was nearly forty years old.
Not all people are lucky enough to meet the right person at the right time.
Most of the time, the so-called unworthy is just inappropriate.
Instead of falling into deep pain in love, it is better to stop the loss and look forward to a new future.
Believe that happiness may be late, but it will not be absent.
7
You have to be useful first, and then you have to be connected
As Ximen Qing rose step by step, the circle of friends changed one after another, and only Earl Ying was always by his side.
Because he knows Ximenqing too well, he knows when to welcome him and when to relieve his sorrows.
Even if Ximenqing needs manpower, Earl Ying can recommend it immediately.
Therefore, Ximen Qing valued him very much and gave Count Ying a lot of care.
In fact, in this life, except for a few close friends, most friendships are a combination of interests.
As long as there are benefits to exchange, you can have connections.
Abilities don't need to be evenly matched, as long as they are symptomatic.
It's just that remember that such connections are not really friends.
When the benefits are exhausted, the friendship is also dispersed.
8
Where a man's money is spent, his heart is there
Because her mother's family is poor and can't afford to marry, Pan Jinlian has never had a leather jacket to wear.
Under her coquettish foolishness, Ximenqing finally agreed to redistribute the leather jackets in the house.
The leather jacket left by Li Bei'er was of the highest value and belonged to Pan Jinlian.
The leather jacket brought by the pawnshop was worth a little less and was given to the second aunt.
The second aunt's old leather jacket was eliminated to the fourth aunt.
The value of the three leather jackets just represents the position of the three concubines in Ximen Qing's heart.
It is often said that money can buy everything, but it can't buy love.
However, a person's attitude towards spending money must measure feelings.
If you love someone, you will definitely give them the best within your ability.
The so-called reluctant to spend money, in some cases, just don't want to spend money on you.
9
People speak ill in front of them to provoke anger, and people speak ill words to make enemies
Ximen Qingjia is like a sieve, no matter who speaks ill of others behind his back, it will soon be transmitted back to the ears of the person concerned, and the words are even more vicious.
So a lot of noise broke out.
The most intense one was the total outbreak of resentment between Wu Yueniang and Pan Jinlian.
Pan Jinlian was so happy that she was quick to speak, but she didn't expect that soon after Ximenqing died of illness, Wu Yueniang took power and sold Pan Jinlian, which eventually led to the latter being bought and tortured by Wu Song.
In a momentary mood, he actually lost his life.
As the old saying goes, illness comes from the mouth, and disaster comes from the mouth.
Sometimes, a bad word will attract an enemy and break off a friendship.
But the discussion behind it is more lethal than the face-to-face quarrel.
Because you never imagine what the rumors will become, and you will never have the opportunity to explain and remedy them.
Only when the revenge comes ferociously does it become irreparable.
10
If you think the world is too bad, it's because you're too weak
As soon as Ximen Qing died, the family road immediately fell.
Outsiders are in arrears, men are guarding and stealing, domestic servants are wantonly deceiving the master, and an official who has received favors also wants to seize all the property of Simon's family.
People are still the same people, but they can treat each other with completely different faces.
It's just because the orphans and widows left behind are ignorant of the world and are powerless to resist.
People walk to cool down, and the wall falls down and everyone pushes it, which is the norm in the world.
Complaining can't change the way of the world, and grievances can't move the tiger wolf.
Only gritted his teeth to survive the trough and climbed the mountain again step by step.
When you cross the rain and fog on the mountainside, the sun is shining at the peak.
Huang Bo has long said: "When you are weak, you have the most enemies around you." When you're strong, you're surrounded by friends. ”
11
Leave a line for others, and see each other in the future
There were domestic servants stealing inside, and corrupt officials calculating outside, and the Simon family was in a desperate situation at this time.
Wu Yueniang was desperate and could only ask for help from her former subordinate Chunmei.
At this time, Chunmei has become a garrison lady.
She was grateful for the old love and asked her husband to save Simon's family.
As the saying goes, feng shui takes turns.
No one can stay in high positions forever, and no one will always be low.
Maybe your subordinates today will become nobles in your life tomorrow.
Be a person and do things, please be sure to leave three points of leeway.
Forge a good relationship everywhere, and you will be blessed in the future.
12
The reward of good and evil may not be timely, but the world has its own cause and effect
At the end of "The Golden Vase of Plums", almost all the wicked people ended up desolate.
The murderer is finally killed, and the greedy is the last to be left.
Only the generous Wu Yueniang and the righteous son depend on each other for their lives, and they have lived a peaceful life since then.
It is not so much the cycle of karma that is unpleasant, but rather the character of the person that determines fate.
If you have evil thoughts in your heart, you will continue to do evil, and sooner or later you will harm your body.
Always have a heart of contentment, be kind to others everywhere, and eventually have a happy life.
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Some people say that "Golden Vase Plum" can best portray the "human nature" that truly transcends the times.
Wine and wealth are inescapable desires; Greed and hatred are inescapable demons.
If "Dream of Red Mansions" is an idol drama, then "Golden Vase Plum" is a real and cruel life.
There are thousands of people, never black and white, human nature is complex, and it is not either good or evil.
After reading "The Golden Vase Plum", you will know how to face up to the desires of human nature and how to face this world full of grayscale.
(Material source: WeChat public account Classical Literature and Poetry)