It's really not easy to be a good person.
Many people think that being a good person is just about doing good deeds, but this is not the case.
This world is a three-dimensional world, and everything needs to be considered from many aspects. Life is like drinking tea, the shade is suitable, too strong or too light, it will not bring people a good sense of experience.
In the final analysis, being a person requires a good grasp of it. People who do not grasp the balance well will fall into the difficulties of life when they lose the proportion.
Control your speech and demeanor, stop everything in moderation, and do not embarrass others or wronged yourself. This is the wisdom of being a human being.
We can't deny that helping others is a virtue, but even the best kindness must be done in moderation. History tells us that the golden mean is the way to last. Only by finding the balance of the relationship can people deal with the relationship easily and naturally.
As the old saying goes, "When good things are done, there will be disaster." "It's not that we can't do good deeds, but it's a reminder that we must be good when we do things.
When interacting with people, no matter how good the relationship is, don't easily help the 3 kinds, and you may have to put yourself on the hook in the end.
Don't help people "avenge their grievances"
Don't fight for others at any time, because you really don't know what other people's hearts feel.
This phenomenon occurs around almost everyone, that is, friends who have a good relationship often complain to each other together.
Complaining is a kind of emotional venting. Most of the time, reality and what others say they look like are completely different things.
So we don't have to fight for others, you think you are righteous, but in fact not only does it not help, but it may also ruin the other person's plan.
In the adult world, justice is always one's own business, and it is inevitable that redress for others will not be too good.
The truth of the matter is only clear to the person concerned, and what others hear is only paraphrased.
If a person is really helpless, what you can offer is advice and rational analysis, but not make decisions for the other person.
After all, life belongs only to himself, and no matter whether his cognitive ability is high or low, he has the right to make his own choice.
Don't help people "make money"
Smart people don't bring acquaintances to make money, because they understand that bringing acquaintances is easy to turn around.
If a person does not have absolute certainty and excellent professional knowledge, he should not casually guide others and lead others, otherwise it is likely to cause bad results of doing bad things with good intentions.
Even if a person has excellent professional knowledge, try not to help others easily, some help only appear to be helping on the surface, but in fact it will make the other person's situation worse and worse.
I once heard a story about a kind old man who was knocked on the door one day by a able-bodied beggar to beg.
The old man did not give money directly, but asked the beggar to carry a stack of bricks in front of the house to the back of the house, and the beggar was tired and sweaty after moving, and he was out of breath and paid the money.
Then the beggar came several more times. Every time the old man asked him to move the bricks, the stack of bricks moved from the front of the house to the back of the house, and from the back of the house to the front of the house.
The neighbor finally couldn't help but ask where he wanted to put the bricks, and the old man said that the bricks could be placed anywhere, but if the limbs were sound and he wanted to get something for nothing, his life would be wasted.
Not helping others make money is not cold-blooded, but great love.
In the final analysis, life depends on one's own ability, and helping others can help for a while, but not for a lifetime. The ability is called the real ability when it grows in itself.
In the early stages of helping others make money, they may be able to quickly get closer to each other, but as time goes on, people's desires become greater and greater, and their feelings of gratitude will become weaker and weaker.
Helping people make money is easy for people to become dependent. Unearned dependence is the dark side of life, and while the sense of dependence grows wildly, the beauty in the relationship will also dissipate.
Any relationship should maintain a sense of boundaries. Helping only helps emergencies, and those who can't help the wall must stay away, and the closer they get, the more dangerous they are.
As the saying goes, "Helping the poor is not helping the poor." "It's not because of the fear that the poor won't be able to repay, but because they are avoiding the other party's insatiable greed.
No matter how urgent things are, they will pass one day, but the poor who don't work hard will be poor for the rest of their lives.
Don't help people "get a divorce"
In our lives, there is a kind of help that is "helping others is helping oneself", and there is another kind of help that is "lifting a stone and shooting oneself in the foot".
Be a sober person, put away unnecessary enthusiasm, some things can be helped, because the ending is happy, and some things can't be helped, because it may harm others and not benefit yourself.
The reason why I repeatedly emphasize not to make choices for others is because everyone can regret it. If you choose for yourself, you will have to bear the consequences, and if you choose for others, you will inevitably be implicated by the consequences.
It's hard to tell you about feelings from beginning to end. It is precisely because of this that the ancestor said that it is difficult for a clean official to decide family affairs.
Other people's marriages can give advice, but don't make decisions for the other person, some people are always easy to empathize with others, once they hear about the misfortune in other people's marriages, they want to save people from fire and water.
There is no perfect marriage in this world, and only the parties know whether it is suitable or not.
Don't help someone get a divorce, even if the other party asks for you, you can't put yourself in front of the parties, and you can't take care of emotional matters.