Comrade Editors,
Hello!
How do you define and distinguish between "good friends" and "bad friends", "true friends" and "fake friends"?
Jia-ping-hsien
A reply to Jiaping
2024.05
Jiahei:
Hello!
The fact that you ask a question about your friend's "true or false" in your letter shows that you are starting to think about the qualities of friendship, which is a very good question.
Friends are an important part of our lives, and without friends, life is gray. But how to correctly view the question of friends requires us to return to the roots of human spiritual emotions. Any emotional feeling should be pure and free of any impurities, only in this way can it truly touch the hearts of others and exist in their hearts. But now our problem is that we have done a lot of work to add adjectives to human emotions, such as "clear my heart, longing for a true feeling" and "live a life with sincerity" in the lyrics. This is actually a red flag. If someone is honest with you, it will be true. The ancients only talked about the words love and righteousness, and they got the truth. The word friend is priceless in itself, and now we add adjectives to it, which only proves that we have encountered not so high-quality feelings and righteousness, and also shows that we have a problem with our attitude towards emotions.
To be precise, any interaction that can be achieved by material exchange does not constitute affection. Nowadays, the reason why many people bring up the topic of "true and false, good or bad" friends is because they misunderstand the relationship between friends and partners. Anyone can be a partner, there can be an exchange of interests, a work exchange, and an exchange of ideas, but they are not necessarily friends. A friend is a person who both parties are willing to give, communicate, and gain their hearts, and there is no utilitarian color. This is a high level of spiritual life, which is bound to wander outside the exchange of interests. Some people say that a friend is just meeting another self, and that's what they mean. This kind of emotion needs to be experienced with your heart, exchanged with your heart, and you need to respect it with your heart. Why do some people burst into tears when they talk about the word "friend", and when they talk about love and righteousness, they will think of touching stories such as mountains and rivers and Taoyuan knots, without adding adjectives and qualifiers like "true or false, good or bad"? This is because the ancients engraved this kind of high-level spiritual life of human beings with respect from the bottom of their hearts. The requirements for the emotional world are very high: in the eyes of the predecessors, friends are either 100 or 0, and there is no intermediate form. This is the attitude that a great nation should have toward its spiritual life, and it is also the most valuable thing that people call it a human being.
Friendship, like love, is based on time as a ruler and as a unit of measurement. We observe whether a person is reliable or not, and we need to observe whether he has friends who have been friends for more than 20 years. If you can't sustain an emotion for 10 or 20 years, then it's hard for you to appreciate the deep value it contains. Therefore, when someone is scattered at the end of his life, you will say that this person is a false friend. When someone stumbles on your back, you think it's a bad friend. It's really all a problem with our understanding of our friends. Making friends is a harder thing than panning for gold, don't treat all the stones you pick up as gold - life is full of partners, but making friends is to be cautious. A noble spiritual life is as precious as a rare treasure.
A friend is a friend, and he is one of the most precious gifts that God has given us, but he really needs to be sought with his heart, not measured in the worldly scale. I hope you can find friends who treat you from the bottom of your heart and continue to do so forever.
Pi Jun
May 18, 2024
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