Hayao Miyazaki once said: "When a person enters middle age, life is no longer a galloping horse, but a mountain climber with weights." ”
Middle-aged women, in the face of family trivialities and career influences, are often easy to lose themselves and open the wrong door to their hearts, resulting in empty people and money, and falling into difficulties.
Therefore, the best way for a woman to live is to close these two doors and guard her heart.
1
Don't open the door of jealousy, stop itching
The Italian writer Amicius said, "Don't let the snake of jealousy get into your heart, it will corrupt your mind and destroy your heart." ”
The thought of jealousy is like a murder weapon for self-harm, and every time you swing a knife, you will cut yourself first.
During the Republic of China, Pan Liudai was well-known in the literary world, and became a confidant with Zhang Ailing, who was still unknown at that time.
Until Zhang Ailing became more and more influential, Pan Liudai gradually couldn't control her jealousy.
Once, the two made an appointment to have tea, and Zhang Ailing carefully dressed up to attach importance to this date, but Pan Liudai was dissatisfied, thinking that this was a show off to herself.
So, Pan Liudai made sarcastic remarks, and later even began to write articles accusing Zhang Ailing of fake Qinggao.
The relationship between Pan and Zhang was estranged.
How far later, Zhang Ailing came to Hong Kong, and some good people said that Pan Liudai was also here.
Zhang Ailing said softly when she heard this: "I don't know." ”
was originally an inseparable friendship, but because of a person's jealousy, it gradually went to a strange place. Today, Zhang Ailing is famous far and wide, but no one knows Pan Liudai.
A woman who falls into jealousy will gradually lose herself in the comparison.
However, only a truly strong woman can understand that the most important thing in life is actually to surpass herself.
Ernest Hemingway has a good saying: "Being superior to others is not noble, and true nobility is being superior to one's past self." ”
Low-level circles are always stepping on each other, but high-level circles are complimenting each other.
In fact, the moment you are jealous of others, you are denying yourself in your heart.
To be a woman, instead of putting your eyes on other people's bodies and making your heart itch, you should learn to focus on yourself, excel in silence, and wait for your grace to bloom.
Ban Jieyu of the Western Han Dynasty entered the palace at the age of seventeen and became the concubine of Emperor Cheng of the Han Dynasty.
The harem is full of jealousy, you rob me. But Ban Jieyu was never jealous, nor did she bother to cater to the emperor's favor, but read history books in her room every day, watched ancient paintings, and spent her time on poetry and books.
As a result, her pen gave birth to famous poems: "Group Fan Song", "Self-mourning Fu" and "Pounding Su Fu" and so on.
Later generations even included him in the eighteen high-grade poets.
A woman who finds her self-worth will never have her soul drained.
Only by holding back the itch of jealousy and meditating on cultivation can you get rid of your troubles and move towards an excellent self step by step
2
Don't open the door of dependence, strong mentality
"The Awakening of Women" mentions: "There are three major turning points in women's fate, namely the original family, marriage, and the awakened self. ”
The last and most important thing in the list is the awakened self.
The awakening of a middle-aged woman begins with non-dependence.
In "My Fragrance", a woman named Chen Huicai is written.
She likes to read, but her family has a change, and at this time of confusion, a doctor Lu reached out to help and made a request: "Marry me, I can send you to study." ”
At that time, Chen Huicai was not yet 20 years old, and marriage seemed far away.
Moreover, she has known Dr. Lu for less than two months, but to her, she seems to be the biggest supporter.
As a result, Chen Huicai easily entrusted his fate to Dr. Lui. This was also the beginning of the tragedy of her life.
After marriage, life is not what Huicai ideals, she needs to take care of her husband every day, do laundry and cook, plough the fields and grow vegetables...... It's hard to spend time on reading.
And the promise that Dr. Lui once gave came to naught.
After giving birth to three children in succession, Chen Huicai gradually became a bitter resentful woman in her husband's cold-blooded ruthlessness, and even chose to commit suicide for the rest of her life.
The sense of security in life is always the confidence given by oneself.
If you treat others as backers, you will eventually live like dust that will be blown away, and no one will care about it.
There is a sentence in the short film "The Power of Women": "The real power of a woman is to be her own light." ”
Middle-aged women, learn to be their own masters, in order to pursue the results that truly belong to them.
Mrs. Maisel, the protagonist of "The Great Mrs. Maisel", relies on her parents before marriage and her husband after marriage, and is a well-known virtuous helper.
However, when she found out that her husband was cheating, she was beaten and driven out of the house by her husband.
After the divorce, she was penniless and had no one to rely on.
By chance, she gave a speech on stage and was well received, so she chose to devote herself to the talk show industry.
After studying and polishing day and night, her heart is becoming more and more fulfilling, and her life is slowly improving.
It didn't take long for her to embark on a national tour, gaining a legion of fans, and she got her own name: Mickey.
Mickey's experience tells us that life may be vexatious, but with the ability to cross by itself, we have the courage to face the wind and rain.
Once the soul is independent, the mind will be tenacious, and life will begin to be peaceful.
3
The best awakening for middle-aged women:
Enrich yourself
Writer Lin Qingxuan once said: "Third-rate makeup is the makeup of the face, second-rate makeup is the makeup of the spirit, and first-class makeup is the makeup of life." ”
Middle age is a time of awakening in life, but also a time to redefine oneself.
At this stage, it should be understood that happiness does not depend on so-and-so in the outside world, but takes the initiative to enrich oneself and be one's own safe haven.
Yang Jiang's life can be described as bumpy, suffering from the early death of his beloved daughter and the death of his husband.
But even such a fate problem did not make her bow her head and complain, but always let herself swim in the sea of books, and her life became more and more fulfilling.
Sheng Aiyi, a talented woman in the Republic of China, had a wealthy family in the early years, and was an out-and-out lady, but who expected that in the second half of her life, she would drive high and go low, not only her family was ruined, but she was also displaced and lived in a foul-smelling car room.
But no matter how bad the conditions are, they can't destroy her full soul, and every day she will dress up and clean the house. In his spare time, he also raises wildflowers to add a touch of scenery to the house.
Even if a woman has a beautiful face, it is difficult to resist the wind and frost of the years. Only with a rich heart can we live a brilliant life under the baptism of time.
Enriching one's heart is the most beautiful way for a woman to live.
I once read a small story:
The woman painter owns a garden.
One day, when a friend came to visit, he found that the garden was neglected and overgrown with weeds, and he regretted it: "Why don't you plant something?" ”
The painter smiled and said, "I planted the wind." ”
When the wind blows gently through the grass, the grass swaying from side to side is also a sight.
Everyone's life is like this garden without flowers, in the eyes of outsiders, flowers are happiness; But in my own heart, the wind is the scenery.
This is called: "The heart is like a painter, and he can paint the world." ”
Happiness is in your heart, if you feel bitter, life will be bitter; If you feel sweet, the days will be sweet.
Therefore, on this journey of life, not being entangled or worried, pleasing yourself, and not crossing others is the greatest wisdom of a woman.
I hope you and I will have enough time for the rest of our lives to follow our hearts, live our own lives, and finally bump into beauty.