In Qian Zhongshu's novel "The Siege", there is a classic saying:
Marriage is like a besieged city, people in the city want to get out, and people outside the city want to come in.
This law applies not only to people inside and outside of marriage, but also to a couple.
One party wants to enter the besieged city, but the other half has no will, the two people want to break it, they can't break it, they want to get close, they can't get close.
38-year-old Lao Zhou encountered such a predicament. He fell in love with a 43-year-old divorced woman and wanted to enter into marriage frantically, but the woman replied to him lightly:
It's good for everyone to have fun together, and there's no need to get married.
Lao Zhou was very painful and incomprehensible. The status quo of not being able to ask for it has always torn his heart.
One
There are many scumbags in this world, and there are many scumbags.
In the final analysis, marriage is the last thing to fight for. When encountering people whose character is not up to par, they will stage all kinds of tragedies of being rich and rich, and sharing hardships and hardships: for example, poor couples mourn everything, for example, husband and wife are birds in the same forest, and they fly separately when disaster comes.
Lao Zhou's first marriage is a true portrayal.
Lao Zhou's ex-wife is a beautiful but superficial woman, with amazing beauty at a glance, but also with unconcealable superficiality, arrogance and vanity, but for Lao Zhou at that time, it is enough for a woman to be beautiful and on the stage, he doesn't need connotation or ability, these are not his core needs.
At that time, Lao Zhou had his own small company, small but well run, he needed a hostess who could help him socialize in the business field, this woman, beautiful and sweet-mouthed, would be sent to it, and his ex-wife was just in line with this.
In those years, Lao Zhou's career luck was very good, and with the blessing of his beautiful ex-wife, his business was booming. When the scenery was infinite, Lao Zhou never thought of abandoning his bad wife, not because he was not lustful, but because he was superstitious: he lost his wife and made a lot of money.
Lao Zhou did not abandon his bad wife at the time of the scenery, but later he encountered a business crisis, but the bad wife left her daughter and divorced him decisively.
This major setback in his life made Lao Zhou see a lot of warmth and coldness. Fortunately, with the help of nobles, Lao Zhou made a comeback a few years later, although the income is not as good as before, but it is not a problem to live decently.
After experiencing the ups and downs of life, Lao Zhou's concept has changed a lot, he no longer cares about those empty fame and fortune, he just wants to find a confidant, do something he likes together, and live a peaceful and stable life.
Then, he met Zhou Min.
Two
The two met in a hiking group in the same city, and Zhou Min was the person in charge of the hiking activity, who was attentive and thoughtful, capable and considerate, and left a good impression on Lao Zhou, and the two of them added contact information to each other.
Lao Zhou still remembers Zhou Min's opening remarks: My surname is also Zhou, and we were a family 500 years ago. The funny and friendly way of greeting made Lao Zhou smile.
After that, the two people had more contact, because they both loved hiking and cycling, and the more they talked, the more intimate they became, and the more they chatted, the more they had a sense of sympathy, and slowly, there was an ambiguous relationship that could not be explained.
Later, Lao Zhou asked Zhou Min to travel around, and Zhou Min agreed. Everyone is from the past and knows each other's intentions, and after this trip, the two officially came together.
After getting along officially, Lao Zhou felt even more distressed about Zhou Min. In the previous marriage, Zhou Min was a typical good wife and mother, husband and children, and worked hard in her career, neither of which was left behind. In the most difficult time for men, Zhou Min even used his identity to borrow money everywhere for men to tide over the difficulties.
However, every time the righteous slaughter dogs, most of them are readers. After becoming a professor at a certain university, the man cheated and betrayed his family.
20 years of youth fed the dog, and Zhou Min's heart was broken.
Lao Zhou longed for a warm and complete family, and Zhou Min was obviously the most suitable person, and after getting along for a while, he proposed marriage to Zhou Min.
But to his surprise, Zhou Min not only vetoed it, but also said with a hint of cynicism:
It's okay to play together, but it's not okay to get married.
At this time, Lao Zhou couldn't figure it out, he felt that he was being teased by a woman again.
Actually, Lao Zhou thought wrong.
There is a law in psychology that a person who felt happy in his previous marriage is more likely to enter into marriage again because he has good things to look forward to in marriage.
On the contrary, people who have suffered humiliation and betrayal in marriage have lost confidence and extravagance in marriage, and it is easier to play the world.
Once a woman suffers a heavy setback in a marriage and her heart dies, it is difficult to heal her emotional wounds and pursue happiness again.