Li Xiufen, a retired junior high school Chinese teacher, just turned 57 this year. She has been a hardworking teacher all her life, teaching and educating people for 30 years, and has always been that rigorous and enthusiastic teacher in the hearts of her students. The warm sunlight shone lazily on her face through the gaps in the curtains, but he didn't have much warm enjoyment at the moment. Since her retirement, she seems to have suddenly changed her previous state, and she no longer has a passion for family affairs.
"Mom, this month's utility bill is here, you can see if there is any problem." Son Li Qiang put down the bill and tried to get his mother's attention.
Li Xiufen just glanced at it casually, without any waves in her eyes, "Well, you can do it yourself." ”
Li Qiang felt a little strange, so he asked tentatively: "Mom, are you feeling unwell these days?" Do you need me to accompany you to the hospital? ”
"It's okay, I'm not sick." She waved her hand, the expression on her face as if she had lost interest in everything.
Every day, all the work at home falls on her daughter-in-law Xiaoling, who is busy from morning to night, and even her grandson's homework is tutored by her. Li Xiufen didn't even look at it, which was similar to the one who loved education and volunteered to tutor children at home in the past.
One evening, Xiaoling was busy preparing dinner, shouting as she was busy: "Mingming, come and help your mother pick vegetable leaves, your grandmother will eat it today." ”
Obviously, I wanted to hide next to my grandmother to escape, but I heard my grandmother say, "Go ahead, my mother can't be busy alone." ”
He was stunned for a moment, and said disappointedly: "Grandma, it's been more than a month, and you haven't done your homework with me, and you haven't taught me calligraphy anymore." ”
Li Xiufen showed a bitter smile, "Grandma used to teach for many years, and now she just wants to rest." ”
Xiao Ling looked up at Li Xiufen and didn't say anything, just took a deep breath and continued to be busy.
For dinner, the whole family sits around the table. Li Qiang couldn't help but ask: "Mom, you are retired, shouldn't you enjoy life?" Why do you lie there all day long, and you don't even care about your grandson, it's not good. ”
Li Xiufen put down her chopsticks and said lightly: "You don't have to be with anyone to enjoy life, I'm very good." ”
The atmosphere became solemn for a while. The atmosphere at home is different from the previous harmony, with a trace of embarrassment and estrangement, Li Xiufen's lying flat has become a deadlock on the table that is difficult to resolve, and it is also a pimple in the hearts of the family.
After the meal, Li Qiang looked at his mother's back back to the room, and his heart was mixed. He exchanged a helpless look with Xiao Ling, and both realized that the family seemed to be quietly changing.
As time passed, Li Xiufen's lying down attitude became more and more serious, and even the air at home became more and more dull. Li Qiang and Xiaoling began to pay close attention to Li Xiufen's actions, and they secretly discussed whether they needed to take her to the hospital for a comprehensive examination.
Li Qiang took advantage of Li Xiufen's evening watching TV in the living room, sat down beside her, and said cautiously: "Mom, is it that you are not busy with so many things after retirement, so you feel a little bored?" ”
Li Xiufen looked at the TV and didn't answer immediately, and said after a while: "It's okay if I'm bored or not, I've been busy all my life, and now I want to be clean." ”
Xiaoling walked over with a cup of tea, put it on the coffee table, and then asked, "Auntie, we can help you find interest classes, such as dancing, learning to draw or something, I heard that this is good for both body and mind." ”
"I'm not interested in dancing and painting, and I don't want to go out and toss at my age." Although Li Xiufen's tone was flat, it contained a hint of resoluteness.
Li Qiang looked at Xiao Ling, Xiao Ling shook her head, and motioned for Li Qiang to stop talking. The silence at this moment is heavier than any language. But in the following days, they still couldn't hold back and decided to take Li Xiufen for a physical examination.
In the hospital, the doctor examined them and told them that there was nothing wrong with Li Xiufen's physical condition, "it may just be retirement syndrome, and it will take some time to adjust your life." ”
On the way home, Li Xiufen suddenly spoke: "Do you think I'm so abnormal?" ”
Li Qiang hurriedly replied: "Of course not, Mom, we are just worried about you, afraid that there is something wrong with your body." ”
Li Xiufen was silent for a while, and then said earnestly: "Qiangqiang, I know you are all kind, but I'm really fine." I've been taking care of you all these years, and now you all have your own families. I just thought, after all these years of giving away my time, now I can choose how to live my own life. ”
Li Qiang could hear the helplessness and firmness in his mother's words, and he tried to understand his mother's feelings: "Mom, what do you want to do?" You say, we have your back. ”
"I haven't thought about it myself, I'll tell you when I'm done." Li Xiufen looked out the window, as if expecting something.
In the following days, Li Qiang and Xiaoling tried to understand Li Xiufen's feelings, restrained their anxiety and incomprehension, and no longer forced her to do anything they didn't want to do. But the loss and worry that lies under the forbearance remain. Without Li Xiufen's knowledge, they began to look around for relevant solutions, consulting many retirees about how to deal with their lives, but none of them seemed to find an answer suitable for Li Xiufen.
Li Xiufen felt more and more that the atmosphere at home was strange, and a chance conversation inadvertently gave them a glimmer of light.
The atmosphere at home became more and more tense, and both Li Qiang and Xiaoling felt the seriousness of the matter. After a few whispered conversations late at night, they decided to hold a family meeting to clarify the problem and perhaps find a solution.
With Li Xiufen's reluctant participation, the family meeting officially began one afternoon over the weekend.
"Mom, we called you here mainly to talk about your current state." Lee opened with a tough head, he is not a man of words, especially in the face of his mother.
Li Xiufen sat on the sofa casually, as if she had expected it: "You go on." ”
Xiaoling took over the conversation, "Auntie, we all think that you have been a little lately... Well, you know... It's not good that you're lying down all the time. ”
"Not so good? What's wrong with me? I just don't want to do anything, can't I? Li Xiufen's voice suddenly rose a few points.
Mingming heard the sound of arguing at home, and ran out of the room, "Grandma, aren't you happy?" Grandma is upset, and I'm not happy. ”
The child's true feelings eased the atmosphere a little, Li Xiufen looked at her grandson, and her face showed tenderness: "Grandma is not unhappy, it's just... Grandma wanted to have a life of her own. ”
"Own life? Mom, isn't our life life a life for so many years? Li Qiang couldn't help but feel a little emotional.
"No, the previous life was also life, but that was the life that revolved around you. I also have my own ideas and interests that I also want to pursue. ”
Xiao Ling tried to calm down the scene, "Auntie, we can understand that you want to have your own space and time, but you can't completely give up your family, it's not good for everyone." ”
Li Xiufen sighed and spoke slowly: "I know you can't understand, in fact, I don't need you to understand." I just want to do what I want to do, and as for what to do, I'll decide for myself. ”
"But Mom, there are still a lot of things to deal with at home, obviously he is still young, he needs you." Li Qiang tried to convince his mother from the perspective of family responsibility.
Li Xiufen's gaze became firm: "Qiangqiang, obviously with you, I know you can take care of him." But I can't let that put my life in check. ”
The atmosphere fell silent again. Li Xiufen's words are like a sharp knife, piercing the fact that the family has been avoiding but must face: Li Xiufen, the once center and pillar of the family, now demands to be freed from family roles.
The meeting did not reach a substantive conclusion, and Li Xiufen strengthened her position, while Li Qiang and Xiaoling were confused, angry and helpless, feeling unprecedented powerlessness. They have to admit that if a person decides to change, no matter how deep the family affection is, it is difficult to stop.
The end of the family meeting didn't bring much change, but just as the family was about to reach a long-term stalemate, a visit from her niece Xiaohui changed the situation.
Xiaohui is the daughter of Li Xiufen's sister, who has always been smart and clever, and she looks particularly fresh in the tense atmosphere of this family. "Auntie, I heard that you have been 'lying flat' at home recently?" Xiaohui joked with a smile.
Li Xiufen looked at Xiaohui and joked: "Oh, I don't want to be clean and clean." ”
"Actually, Auntie, you can consider lying half-flat! You can do what you like by yourself and don't give up on spending time with your family. Xiaohui said as she looked at Li Qiang and Xiaoling with confused expressions.
Li Xiufen's eyes lit up, "Half lying flat? That's an idea. ”
Li Qiang and Xiaoling glanced at each other, they were both puzzled, but they were also looking forward to some new possibilities.
"Yes, Auntie, you can use your free time to volunteer at a community center or join an interest group, so that you can develop your own interests, have social activities, and not be separated from family life." Xiaohui suggested.
Hearing these suggestions, Li Xiufen couldn't help laughing, "I didn't expect you little girl to be quite good at coming up with ideas." ”
Li Qiang finally breathed a sigh of relief when he saw his mother's smile, "Okay Mom, if you want to try a new way of life, we support you." ”
Xiao Ling couldn't help but happily come over, "Auntie, let's assign the housework, you can still help a little, right?" ”
"Of course you can, anyway, I don't do nothing, and I'm happy to do some housework properly." Li Xiufen's tone and mood seemed to be much better.
In this way, Li Xiufen began to try a semi-recumbent lifestyle, she joined the community dance group, and sometimes helped with household chores. Although it has not changed much, the atmosphere at home has gradually become warmer, and I can occasionally feel my grandmother's heart and tell him bedtime stories.
Li Xiufen found that finding a balance between pursuing personal interests and maintaining family harmony was not out of reach. Her life has taken on a new flavor, and she has learned how to move between self and affection.
Home is warm again because of Li Xiufen's changes. Family members may be looking at each other and wondering, is there nothing that cannot be overcome as long as we are willing to change?