Tu Tu's grandmother always praised Tu Tu as a "human spirit", which means: Tu Tu has the intelligence that he shouldn't have at this age. (^o^)。 Tu Tu is indeed a child whose self-consciousness develops relatively early, sometimes appearing smarter than his peers, and before he is nine months old, he can feel that he always has his own ideas.
However, this is also a mixed blessing.
Sometimes if things don't go his way (sometimes Tu Tu's mother and I can't understand what he means), he will cry and make a fuss, and sometimes lie on the ground and roll. I was very bothered by this before.
Although I tried to reason with him, it didn't seem to work at all, and when I was really angry, he didn't seem to understand why I was angry at all, and sometimes pinched my frowning brows, making me want to cry without tears, Tu Tu's mother always laughed and said: He is still young, you tell so many big truths, I can't understand it.
So I asked a senior parenting veteran for advice, and she shared some tips on discipline that made me feel free.
Seniors pointed out that when a child begins to show self-awareness and a large "temper", although it may seem difficult to manage, from the perspective of cognitive development, it is actually a sign of the child's mental maturity.
Parents are becoming more aware of the need to empathize, reason with their children, and establish rules.
However, these methods are not suitable for babies before the age of 1 year, as they are still in the behavioral education period and have not yet entered the language education period.
At this stage, babies learn what is encouraged and what is not acceptable by observing the behavior of their parents and those around them.
Therefore, every word and action of parents can have a profound impact on the baby.
Then, according to her suggestions, I summarized three ways to "discipline" babies under one year old, and shared them with my family here.
Before using the following methods, it is necessary to first confirm whether the baby is crying because of physiological needs, such as whether he is hungry, sick, uncomfortable, or the diaper is too wet, etc., because within 1 year of age, the baby can only express discomfort by crying. Once you've confirmed that you're okay with these basic needs, try the following.
The first trick: ignore
Have you ever noticed that when you repeatedly tell your baby to "don't" to do something, they are more motivated to do it?
This is because children under the age of 1 are not yet able to distinguish between positive attention (e.g., praise) and negative attention (e.g., criticism). In their opinion, any attention from others is pleasant, so they will continue their behavior with the impression that it is encouragement. Therefore, when babies are vexatious, an effective strategy is to ignore them for a while. It's not about not being caring, it's about making your baby understand that crying doesn't always get attention.
For example, when Tu Tu realized the power of his "teeth", he left rows of tooth marks on my arms. The first few times I told him that it was not right, but it didn't work, and he even intensified it.
After I "learned a new trick" - I ignored it for a while and changed my strategy. When he bites me again, instead of continuing to blame him, I put him on his playmat, and both Tu Tu and I are in unison ignoring him and not even making eye contact with him (in fact, we are peeking at him with our peripheral vision). Tu Tu was quite happy when he was first put down, thinking that he was going to start blaming him again - he understood that he was paying attention to him, so he was happy, but within a minute, he was bored and began to look for us. After a few such treatments, he gradually learned to stop biting people to seek attention.
The second trick: divert attention
Babies can sometimes struggle to extricate themselves from their emotions, especially when they fall into a big cry, and sometimes it is difficult to stop crying on their own. In addition, babies tend to be "rebellious" at this age, and the more you forbid them to do something, the more they want to try.
Fortunately, babies under 1 year old have short-term memory and are easily distracted, and we can use this to address some of these issues.
For example, Tu Tu used to like to take Tu Tu's mother's glasses very much, if he didn't give them to him, he would cry, and sometimes he would spit up milk when he choked on saliva, and simple comfort did not work. Later, I learned a trick: I carried Tu Tu to my office (usually he can't get in and can't see it), and there I used an exaggerated and surprised tone to introduce him to various office supplies. These novelties immediately caught his attention and calmed him down.
Another example is that Tu Tu didn't bite his dad and instead bit picture books, and when it first happened, if I took the picture book directly from him, it would stimulate his curiosity and make him want to try it more.
Instead, I would take out his favorite rabbit doll and pretend to be happy next to him and talk to the bunny. In this way, his attention was shifted to the new toy and he was eager to play with me. This strategy of "striking the east and attacking the west" has always been effective in diverting his attention.
The third trick is to strengthen good behavior
Reinforcing good behaviour is the most critical strategy for dealing with behavioural problems in babies up to one year of age. A more effective way to reinforce your baby's good behaviour is to try to correct it.
Babies at this age learn which behaviors are to be encouraged by observing their parents' reactions, so they are more willing to repeat them. As for bad behavior, as mentioned above, it can be dealt with by ignoring and diverting attention. Because babies at this age do not yet fully understand the "rules" or the intention of parental discipline, the key is not to reinforce these bad behaviors.
For example, Tu Tu was very fond of touching my and Tu Tu's mother's face for a while. Whenever he does this, we gently tell him, "Tu Tu likes Mom/Dad, doesn't he?" Mom/Dad loves you too", while also caressing his face.
Sometimes when he uses too much strength and "touches" heavily, we will not blame him, but take his hand and touch it a few more times, and tell him to "touch gently, gently", so that he can feel the touch through his hand, the feeling of touching gently, and he will be able to master the strength himself in the future.
This response not only expresses our love, but also teaches him how to express emotions in a positive way. Later, we thought that when he went out to play, he wanted to express affection or liking, and also touched the faces of other children, which seemed impolite (I didn't know that I thought I was going to hit someone), so every time he touched his face, we would touch his hands.
Now, whenever Tu Tu meets someone he likes, he reaches out and touches the other person's hand as a way to express affection and intimacy. This behavior has helped Tu Tu learn how to express his emotions in a healthy way, which is exactly what we have been encouraging and nurturing.
At last:
The next time you encounter a "vexatious" naughty child, you don't need to do anything, you don't need to scold, and you don't need to be angry because of it. Try the above three tricks to make it easy for you to deal with it!
#育儿#