I've heard a quote like this:
"What determines what you are is not what you have, but your choice."
If you choose to be hysterical, you will be controlled by your emotions; If you choose to be still, you will be able to achieve your true self.
A woman's greatest ability is not to teach her husband and children, not to have a successful career, but to be able to be calm no matter what challenges she faces.
In the face of a complicated world, it is easy to fight for a moment, but it is difficult to keep one's heart.
Don't wronged yourself, and don't embarrass others.
Don't show off your strengths, and don't despise his shortcomings.
Don't dwell on yourself, and don't argue with others.
treats bad people and bad things, and knows no reason
"The Story of the Small Window" wrote: "Argument is not as good as ne, and language is not as good as silence." ”
Sometimes, to fight or not to fight, the result is no different.
People who understand you will support you even if they don't argue; People who don't understand you will question you even if they say that the sky is broken.
The more you explain, the deeper you go into the quagmire; The more you argue, the more you get bogged down.
A wise woman knows the merits of her own conclusion, and it is useless to argue too much.
There is a friend who always smiles, does not argue with bad people, and does not dwell on bad things.
Once, she and her girlfriend went to the scenic spot to play.
After parking the car and walking a short distance, a drunken man stopped his friend, pointed to a crooked parked car, and said that his friend's car was in his way, and scolded her to move away quickly.
In fact, my friend's car was more than ten meters away from here, and it was in two directions.
But his friend still apologized to him and said that he would move immediately.
After appeasing the drunk, the friend called the real owner of the car and asked the other party to come over and move the car, and the matter was successfully resolved.
As a result, the drunkard relentlessly counted for a long time, and finally left.
Afterwards, her best friend was puzzled:
"Why do you want to help him find the owner of the car to move the car? Why don't you explain? You didn't stop again! ”
The friend said indifferently:
"When you can't make sense, don't say it. Rather than let him entangle, it is better to solve it quickly so that we can continue our trip. ”
After hearing this, my girlfriend suddenly brightened up and was deeply admired.
My friend worked as a translator when he graduated and later fell in love with writing.
When I first started learning to write, I would record my short-term goals and practices in my circle of friends and review them.
Unexpectedly, there were a lot of discordant voices in the circle of friends.
Many people questioned her, and even said that what she wrote was rubbish and could not be called literature at all.
The friend didn't defend himself, but just silently put this circle of friends at the top.
For the next two years, she rarely went out and had little entertainment.
Every time everyone called her at a party, she said she was busy.
Later, she added a new circle of friends:
"Two years ago, I fell in love with writing, but I can't write.
Two years later, I continued to write and published my first book. ”
This time, the comments were full of praise.
Later, someone asked her:
"Before, others said so ugly, why didn't you ask them to reason?"
The friend smiled and replied:
"At that time, no matter how reasonable I preached, no one would believe me.
Now that I speak with the results, they naturally retract their doubts.
Besides, it's my own business, and it has nothing to do with them. ”
Yishu said in the novel "Round Dance":
"The best way to deal with anything is to pretend you don't hear. I'm sorry, but I'm lucky and don't listen to ghosts. ”
People live for a lifetime, and they will inevitably encounter bad people and bad things.
There are some things that I can't argue; There are some disputes, and they are in vain.
It is better to learn from Zhuangzi's "big debate without argument" to show wisdom.
Treat other people's private matters and be silent
"Zengguang Xianwen" said: "Tight-lipped like a bottle, guard like a city." ”
However, some people can't hide things in their hearts, can't keep their mouths, and get the slightest movement and spread it out.
In the end, they are either disgusted and alienated by others, or they leak the privacy of others, thus sowing trouble.
For example, Qu Xiaoxuan in "Ode to Joy" likes to pay attention to the privacy of others.
When her sister Fan Shengmei was courted by Wang Baichuan, Qu Xiaoxuan was skeptical about the relationship.
She believes that Wang Baichuan wears a suit and leather shoes, drives a BMW, wears a famous watch, and is not the same person as Fan Shengmei.
So, I privately investigated the details of the family.
She took a photo of Wang Baichuan's BMW and asked a friend to help verify it.
Soon, her friend found out that the car was rented by Wang Baichuan.
So, when having dinner with Fan Shengmei, Qu Xiaoxuan showed Fan Shengmei a text message about the car rental information, and sighed that "life is full of foreshadowing".
Although Qu Xiaoxuan's original intention may have been for the good of her friends, her actions were not recognized by her friends.
When dealing with other people's private matters, sometimes you need to be unaware.
No matter how good the relationship is, the other party may not want you to stretch your hand too long.
The friendship between gentlemen is as light as water, and once one party crosses the line, no matter how good the relationship is, there will be cracks.
On the other hand, my friend Sen Sen, in getting along with family and friends, can not be said to be unintelligent.
Sen Sen's husband has a large family and many relatives, and he moves around frequently every day, and some relatives and friends often tell her that the east family and the west family are short, and there are always countless trivial things.
Despite being in such a whirlpool, Sen Sen always maintained a detached attitude and never said much.
She doesn't easily meddle in anyone's affairs, and she doesn't use it as a microphone when anyone says it.
After a long time, Sen Sen has become a rare smart and reliable person in everyone's hearts.
Yang Jiang once wrote:
"There are curtains hanging on people's windows, don't peep."
Everyone has their own private affairs and secrets, but if they are transmitted through the mouths of others, they are easily distorted and lose their original appearance.
At the end of the day, life is all about two things:
"What's your business" and "What's my business".
Less exploration of other people's affairs; The words of others are passed on less; Hurt others and touch them sparingly.
A really smart woman has a ruler in her heart and is measured in everything, so that she can have a lot less trouble in life.
Treat the trough or the highlight, and be at ease
Some women talk and act in a way that makes people feel "emotional" and "indisruvolous".
And those women who are strong in their hearts can always remain calm and calm.
No matter how ups and downs life is, no matter how turbulent life is, they can always be calm and calm.
Ah Duo, a star who once had a place in the entertainment industry.
Her voice is unforgettable, her portrayal of the cottage lady Jin Lian in "Panda Hero" is full of charm, and her role as Uncle Gong's ex-girlfriend Red Phoenix in "Dragon Gate Dart Game" is also impressive.
However, in the wake of the explosion, challenges and dilemmas also followed.
Ah Duo is obsessed with the new folk music she loves, but the public acceptance is not high, and even questions her.
Several of her albums full of sincerity have also failed to receive praise as expected.
But that hasn't discouraged Aduo, who has been active in her field and on social media, even if she is less visible in the public eye.
What bothers her is that while she has no talent in her career, she gradually feels powerless in life.
At first, he was emotionally frustrated, and then his body also lit up with a red light.
Faced with these predicaments, Ah Duo chose to calm down, stabilize his life first, and then seek a career restart.
At this point, she entered her own dormant period.
It is Ah Duo's inner tenacity and quiet concentration that allows her to calmly cope with the trough and actively adjust herself, and finally ushered in the wonderful performance in "Riding the Wind and Waves".
Everyone wants to have a quiet time, and everyone wants peace and smoothness.
But life is full of variables, there are peaks, and naturally there are valleys.
Those women who can still take it calmly in the face of adversity are really not simple.
Write at the end
A woman with a calm aura exudes a calm and deep temperament.
This is a kind of inner accumulation and strength.
They do not get involved in arguments easily, do not talk about right and wrong, do not indulge in malaise and complaining, but remain calm and wise, focusing on self-growth and the exploration of the inner world.
Only by calming down can they keep a clear head and make correct judgments at critical moments.
When they are quiet, they can guard their hearts at the peak, not arrogant or impatient; Calm at the trough, neither humble nor arrogant.
Only people who are truly peaceful in their hearts can not be afraid of wind and rain.
May we stay quiet in the face of trouble, condense our hearts in the years, and marvel at the time.
— END —