This article is a novel story, some of the plots are fictional, if there are similarities are purely coincidental, the picture comes from the Internet, invaded and deleted.
Text | Zero Seven Story Meeting
Edit | Zero Seven Story Meeting
The sun was shining exceptionally brightly in the spring of 1995, the day we graduated from military school.
The picture comes from the Internet
Yan Chengjin and I wore crisp military uniforms, and the tassels on our shoulders glistened in the sun. My name is Liu Chentao, a cheerful and always helpful person, who should have been assigned to a beautiful coastal city in the south.
And Yan Chengjin, who is my dear friend, faces the difficult fate of being assigned to the remote north. That night, we sat in the last row of the classroom, the starry sky outside the window.
Yan Chengjin was suddenly silent for a long time, and then whispered to me that his father was seriously ill and his mother was old, and he needed to stay in the south to take care of them.
His eyes were full of helplessness and anxiety, and I could feel his despair. How can I ignore such a situation? Without the slightest hesitation in my heart, I said to him: "Cheng Jin, let's exchange, I'll go to the north, you stay here." ”
The moment I agreed to swap positions with Yan Chengjin, I felt like I had made a heroic decision. I thought that friendship was like that, and that it should be selfless, even at the expense of one's own future.
I soon realized that the reality was far more brutal than I had imagined. After arriving in the small town in the north, I really experienced the feeling of "unfamiliar with life".
The winters here are long and bitter, and the summers are dry and hot, which is completely different from the southern coastal city of my dreams. I was assigned to a small unit, and training and duty day after day became my daily routine.
I tried to get used to it, but there was always an indescribable sense of loss deep inside. At first, Yan Chengjin would call me often, and we would talk a lot, as if the distance had not narrowed our friendship.
The picture comes from the Internet
But as time went on, the calls became less and less, and he was busy with his life and work, while I was consumed by the harsh environment and work pressure in the north. Gradually, I began to feel a kind of forgotten loneliness.
In this environment, I tried to stay optimistic, but the stagnation of my career made me more and more anxious. I thought I could move up the ranks, but here, the opportunities are pitiful.
Whenever I see my comrades-in-arms in the same period achieving achievements in the South or other big cities, my heart is filled with bitterness. I began to question, why sacrifice my own future for the sake of someone else's family happiness?
This mentality made me gradually develop a subtle resentment towards Yan Chengjin. I know it's not fair, but I can't control the emotions in my heart. During a phone call, I finally couldn't help but express my dissatisfaction and disappointment to Yan Chengjin.
He was silent for a long time after hearing this, and then said softly: "Chentao, I'm sorry, I didn't expect to cause you so much trouble. "His apology made me even more painful because I knew it wasn't his fault.
My inner struggle intensified. On the one hand, I tried to cling to the kind of pure camaraderie that began in military school, and on the other hand, I couldn't ignore the huge price I paid for this decision.
I began to wonder if the sacrifice was really worth it. And every time I stand on duty in the cold wind, I think, if I hadn't said yes so easily, would my life have been completely different?
Despite the difficulties, I managed to keep in touch with Yan Chengjin, even though our conversation was no longer as easy and natural as it used to be.
The picture comes from the Internet
Every time I hung up, I felt a deep sense of powerlessness, as if the distance between us was more than just geographical.
As time went on, my career in the small northern towns seemed to come to a standstill. The daily repetition of routines and monotonous military life made me gradually feel tired and frustrated.
Especially in winter, I often walk alone on the snow during long, cold nights, and my heart is full of confusion and anxiety about the future.
One night, I received a call from Yan Chengjin, who excitedly told me that he was about to be promoted to an important position and that he was about to welcome his first child.
Listening to his joy, I tried my best to congratulate him with a smile on the phone, but after hanging up, I couldn't suppress the loss and jealousy in my heart. The stark contrast between my life and his success made me deeply question whether I made the right decision in the first place.
A cold morning a few weeks later, while I was doing my morning exercise at the camp, I accidentally slipped and injured myself and was forced to rest at home. During this time, I had too much time to think and think back to the decision I made that night.
My sacrifice brought Yan Chengjin's happiness, but I seemed to have lost my direction and dreams. Alone at home, I was emotionally on the verge of breaking down.
On a particularly low night, I decided to send a message to Yan Chengjin to express my true feelings. I wrote: "Cheng Jin, I'm really happy to see your success, but I'm also beginning to question whether my sacrifice is worth it.
I felt like I was trapped in a loop from which I couldn't escape. After sending this message, I felt a little less stressed, but at the same time, I was afraid that it would affect our friendship.
The picture comes from the Internet
Yan Chengjin quickly replied to the message, and his words were full of apologies: "Chentao, I really didn't expect you to feel so much unease and pain. If I had a choice, I would never want you to sacrifice so much for helping me.
Your happiness is equally important to me. His reply touched me, but it also deepened my inner conflict and struggle. This conversation took our friendship to a new level, but it also exposed my deep-seated grievances and pain.
That night, I looked out the window at the starry sky for a long time, and my heart was full of mixed emotions. My sacrifice seems to be both a loyalty to friendship and a torture to myself.
At the pinnacle of this decision, I began to really reflect on what was most important to me and how I should choose between friendship and personal dreams.
Years later, late one night, I sat alone on the rooftop, staring at the starry sky, filled with mixed emotions. Looking back on that decision, I still regret it, but I also have a new understanding.
Friendship should not be an infinite sacrifice, but should be mutual support and understanding. Although I experienced countless challenges and pains in my original choice, it also taught me to grow and self-reflect.
I finally understood that every choice in life is a kind of learning, and there will be a price and a reward for it. That sacrifice, although I lost a lot, also taught me to find my own balance between hope and disappointment.
Time will not turn back, and I will continue to move forward, looking for my own light on this long road of life.