Text: Marriage counselor Liu Jie
In the journey of life, we will experience a variety of landscapes and encounters,
Marriage is undoubtedly the most important stop on this journey. It is not just a simple ceremony, but also a deep fit of two people's hearts.
It's just that, in the face of such an important life choice, how can we be sure that the person around us is the "right person" who can walk into the marriage hall with us hand in hand?
In fact, to determine whether a person can get married, you can explain it in 3 words without temptation.
01
"Understanding" – Understanding is the foundation of marriage
In marriage, we need to understand each other. Understand each other's joys, sorrows, and sorrows, as well as each other's needs and expectations.
This kind of understanding is not only to be able to talk together, but also to be a spiritual fit.
The love story of Yang Jiang and Qian Zhongshu is the best interpretation of the word "understand".
They met and fell in love at Oxford University, and they were together for the rest of their lives, and they understood each other deeply.
After Qian Zhongshu's death, Yang Jiang wrote "We Three", recalling the bits and pieces of their family of three, revealing between the lines that he missed and understood Qian Zhongshu.
It is this kind of "understanding" that goes deep into the bone marrow that makes their marriage a good story that has been sung to this day.
In real life, we also need to find the person who "understands" us.
For example, when you are depressed due to work pressure, he can be by your side without saying a word and give you a warm hug.
When you want to pursue what you want to do, he can give you unwavering support and encourage you to move forward bravely.
This kind of "understanding" is a precious part of marriage.
02
"Rong" - tolerance is the lubricant of marriage
Each of us has our own personalities and shortcomings, and in married life, we need to learn to tolerate each other's shortcomings and even some unbearable habits.
Lin Yutang once said: "Marriage is like a carved ship, depending on how you appreciate it and how you drive it." ”
In the "voyage" of marriage, we will always encounter wind, waves and reefs. But as long as we can tolerate each other, we will definitely be able to get through this together.
For example, some husbands like to smoke or drink, and these habits are unacceptable to the wife.
If the wife can choose to be tolerant, kindly remind her husband to pay attention to his physical health, instead of blindly blaming and complaining.
Then this kind of tolerance can resolve the contradictions between each other and reduce many unnecessary disputes.
03
"Faith" – Trust is the cornerstone of marriage
In a marriage, we have to give the other person the most basic trust.
This kind of trust is not only a recognition of the other party's character, but also a firm belief in marriage.
Shakespeare once said, "Love is not true love if it is mixed with calculations that have nothing to do with itself." ”
In married life, we must strive to get rid of suspicion and jealousy, and give each other trust, so that we can find a full sense of security.
For example, when the husband needs to work overtime because of his work, or when he travels frequently, the wife should give him full trust instead of unfounded suspicion and accusation.
In the same way, when a wife is promoted and raised, the husband should be proud and happy for her, not jealous and resentful.
This kind of marriage based on trust can stand the test of time and reality.
The three words "understanding, tolerance, and trust" are important criteria for determining whether a person can get married.
When looking for the "right person", you need to feel with your heart whether the other person really "understands" you. In the process of getting along, whether they can tolerate each other; In daily life, can you achieve the most basic trust?
Only in this way can we find the person who is truly suitable for us, walk into the palace of marriage hand in hand, and write the sweetest chapter of life.