Nowadays, many netizens also call the funeral in the countryside "eating the banquet", in fact, this statement is still a bit not good, and the older generation often says that "if you can not participate in the funeral, try not to participate." There is some truth to this.
Today's article, I will talk to you about participating in funerals in rural areas, what rules to follow, if you don't understand, it is easy to offend people, it is recommended that you still have to understand, especially now many young people are necessary to understand.
(1) Red things are not invited, and white things are not invited.
In rural areas, there are two kinds of happy events, one is red happy events, such as marriage, the birthday of the elderly, children's first birthday banquets, housewarming, school banquets, etc., which are all red happy events. The other is a white happy event, which means that the old man has passed away.
There are also different rules for these two types of banquets. Among them, if it is a red wedding event, it must be invited in advance, like in the past, it was necessary to send invitations, such as who in the family wants to do any happy event one day, and relatives and friends will be invited to participate.
If you are not invited, you will not be able to attend. In my hometown, if it is a red celebration, it is always invited in advance, and only those who are invited will participate.
But if the old man in the village dies, there is no such rule, which is now commonly known as "the whole village eats a feast". This means that you can go even if you are not invited. This is because in the case of white celebrations, the relatives of the deceased are immersed in grief, and there are many things.
The villagers took the initiative to help and spontaneously came to mourn, which not only expressed their condolences for the deceased, but also a kind of care for their relatives and friends. This rule of "uninvited for nothing" embodies the spirit of solidarity and mutual assistance in rural society, and also reflects respect for the deceased.
(2) If you don't give an umbrella if you like it, you don't send a cigarette for your birthday, and you don't make up for it.
The literal meaning of this sentence is that if it is a big event like getting married, you can't give an umbrella as a gift, but if you celebrate your birthday, you can't give a cigarette. And when you participate in the funeral, you can't make up the gifts later.
In fact, when the ancients said this, it was not just a literal meaning, but a reminder that on different occasions, gift-giving is also particular. Like a happy event can not send an umbrella, because the homonym of the umbrella is "scattered", there is a sense of dispersion, discrete, this implication is very bad, and the festive atmosphere of the happy event is contrary.
When participating in the birthday banquet, you can't give cigarettes, also because "smoke" and "pharyngeal" are homophonic, which means swallowing, which is unlucky, and at the same time, smoke is also unhealthy, so avoid it.
The reason why the funeral is that if you fail to come to mourn in time for some reason, it is not appropriate to give gifts afterwards, because this is not only a disturbance to the host's family, not to mention the sad things, but also the meaning of the gift is not good.
In short, it reminds us that we must follow the local rules to participate in red and white ceremonial gifts, otherwise we will do bad things with good intentions and offend people invisibly.
(3) It is not strange to give red things to people, and white things are not accepted by people.
This is easier to understand, like many young people who are outside all the year round, in the village or at the house of relatives to hold a banquet, they may not be able to catch up, or they can't rush back, so although people can't arrive, but gifts are indispensable. Therefore, when encountering such a situation, relatives and friends will not blame, it is understandable.
However, in this case at a funeral, if you can't rush back, you can't give a gift or give a gift. Even if it is given, the host should keep in mind that such a gift cannot be received.
As for why it can't be collected, this editor is not very clear, there is such a saying in the editor's hometown, maybe in the editor's opinion, it is because I don't want to owe the other party a debt of favor!
(4) Do not report the funeral and do not hang filial piety; Don't burn paper money, don't thank filial piety.
In the past, when an elderly person in the family died, the first thing was to report the funeral. First of all, it is necessary to notify the relatives of the same clan, and then after discussion, they begin to arrange for people to go to the homes of relatives and friends to report the funeral, and this funeral is generally to go to the uncle's house first, and then to the aunt's house.
And this sentence of mourning also has a saying, that is, if there are no relatives and friends who report the funeral, they cannot take the initiative to mourn. Only after the funeral has been reported, then relatives and friends can come to mourn.
At the same time, "don't burn paper money, don't thank filial piety" is also an important rule. In the process of mourning, relatives and friends will offer paper money to the deceased to express their condolences, and the children of the deceased will express their gratitude to the relatives and friends who come to mourn.
But if the other party did not burn paper money, then there is no need to express gratitude to the other party. In fact, this is also "courtesy exchange", if you respect me, I will respect you, if you don't respect me, I don't need to respect you.
(5) There is no New Year's greeting when there is a funeral at home.
In the traditional customs of the mainland, there is such a rule in many places, that is, if an elderly person in the family has passed away, then the Spring Festival of the first year cannot be celebrated, and relatives and friends cannot visit relatives and friends during the period, and relatives and friends should not come to visit the New Year.
In addition, if the elderly really died on the Chinese New Year's Eve of the Spring Festival, or on the first day of the new year, in the past there was also a tradition of "secret mourning", even if they died, they could not be said outside, generally after the first day of the new year, and then the funeral was held, and relatives and friends were notified to participate.
Not only during the Spring Festival, but also in my hometown, there used to be a rule that during the "burning seven" period, you were not allowed to visit relatives, friends, and neighbors' houses, and only after 7749 days.
The elders say that there is a funeral at home, which is unlucky, and going to relatives, friends or neighbors' houses may cause trouble to others, so avoid it.
But now many places are not so strict, but during the funeral, try not to go to other people's homes, if you have something to do, you also say at the door, don't go into the house.
In short, these old rules in rural funerals not only reflect respect for the deceased, but also reflect the customs and cultural traditions of rural society. When attending a rural funeral, we should follow these rules to express our grief and respect, and at the same time to avoid unnecessary misunderstandings and conflicts.
Especially nowadays, many young people still have to know about these, as the so-called "many people are not to blame". Are there any of these rules in your hometown? #头条创作挑战赛#