AIDS is not a disease in itself, but a state or syndrome that is unable to fight other diseases. People don't die from AIDS, they die from AIDS-related diseases.
Some people describe AIDS patients as a tree that has a disease, weakened immunity, and all the leaves have fallen, but after taking the medicine, the leaves can still grow and flourish.
However, Xiaoxiao, the protagonist of this article, refused to take medicine because of ignorance and indulgence, and finally walked towards the abyss of death step by step.
In addition to some members of society, there is also a lack of necessary understanding of HIV/AIDS, including some AIDS patients themselves. While advocating people to eliminate misunderstandings and discrimination, young people who have been "A" should love themselves well and live well!
In March, when everything was recovering and spring was full of opportunities, Xiaoxiao left quietly. His same-sex boyfriend left me a message on a small QQ to inform me of the sad news that Xiaoxiao had passed away. I was shocked, did that fashionable young man who loved heavy metal music really leave us forever?
I quickly pulled out his phone number and called. Before that, he hadn't answered my calls for a long time.
The voice on the other end of the phone was a little vicissitudes, neither Xiaoxiao, nor his boyfriend's pure Beijing accent. I plucked up the courage to ask, "Is this a small phone call?" They replied, "I'm his father, and he's been dead for days......"
yelling, "You're the only one who has AIDS!" ”
Refusal to take it is afraid that taking the medicine will turn ugly
One day a few years ago, a foreign friend, Jack, chatted with me on the software, saying that he had met a newly infected AIDS friend, who was only eighteen or nineteen years old when watching the video, grew up in Jiangsu and Zhejiang, and knew nothing about AIDS treatment, and asked me if I could enlighten him on the software. I readily said yes and added a friend.
The other party passed the friend verification, and I greeted him: "Hello, I'm Lin Xiao, Jack introduced us to each other, can I help you?" The other party did not answer, but sent a video request. I hesitated, but agreed. The video shows a teenager about 18 or 9 years old holding a cigarette in his mouth, staring coldly at the screen without saying a word.
I was worried that the voice chat would be heard by other people in the café, so I typed to him: "Do you have AIDS?" Don't be afraid, it's okay......" I didn't expect the other party to suddenly send a voice and scold: "Who said that Lao Tzu has AIDS, you have AIDS!" You AIDS people should have died a long time ago! ”
I was stunned by this sudden scene, and when I sent a message, I found a red exclamation mark, which means that he has blocked me......
Afterwards I lashed out at Jack and complained that he shouldn't have introduced me to a madman. was scolded with good intentions, why bother?
Jack and I have never met, but we've been chatting online, and he knows about my volunteer work, so he often recommends new HIV patients to me. Most of these new patients were shy at first, but gradually became familiar with each other and became friends.
A few months later, he introduced a new patient living in Beijing.
The new patient offered to meet and chat, and I readily agreed. In the sunlight, a thin figure walked towards me. She has a delicate face, her hair is blown high and fashionable, a few strands of bleached yellow hair on her forehead, she wears a pair of headphones, and her body sways rhythmically with the music.
In the conversation that followed, I learned that his name was Xiaoxiao, and the boy who scolded me in the video a few months ago turned out to be him! He said that he was in a bad mood at the time, and later Jack sent him the travel fee to help him come to Beijing. In less than half a year, he has found a boyfriend who lives alone with good economic conditions.
We had a great chat. When he said that his CD4 (a type of immune cell attacked by HIV) was less than 200, I advised him to apply for antiviral drugs immediately or else the disease would be delayed. At this time, his eyes were full of melancholy and confusion. He said, "I want to wait and see, what if my CD4 indicator goes up?" I'm worried that taking medicine will make me ugly, and I'd rather die than take medicine! ”
No-shows: Refusing to find an expert for a variety of reasons
Ignoring syphilis is more contagious than AIDS
I have always encouraged Xiaoxiao to take his medicine quickly, and I have invited him to participate several times when organizing training seminars for experts for infected people. I told him that it didn't matter if he didn't trust me, that it was always okay to listen to doctors and experts, right? He said yes at the time, but he always missed the appointment. The reason is either that he didn't get up in the morning, or that he was worried that he would be embarrassed to meet his former partner. When I interviewed him again, he kept avoiding.
Finally, one day, I received a small phone call and thought he had decided to take antivirals. He said that he had accidentally contracted syphilis again recently, but his boyfriend didn't know about it, he went to the hospital to see a doctor by himself, and the doctor said that the treatment needed to buy more than 1,000 yuan of medicine. He was anxious and scared, and he couldn't come up with that much money for a while, and he wanted me to give him some advice.
I said that the best way to treat syphilis is to inject long-acting penicillin or benzathine penicillin, which costs only a few dozen yuan and has the best effect, but many hospitals in Beijing do not have this kind of injection.
Subsequently, I recommended several hospitals. He also said with great expectations, I have just come to Beijing, and I am very unfamiliar with the geography of Beijing, although my boyfriend can drive me to see a doctor, but I don't want him to know about it. Can you take me to the doctor?
I helped him find a hospital near the subway and took him with me. After passing the skin test, the doctor successfully injected him. At noon, I dined with him. He said happily, thank you for taking me to see a doctor, and you want you to invite me to dinner. I told him and his boyfriend to stay safe.
"He knows I have HIV, but he just doesn't like to take protective measures, and I can't help it," he said. I hurriedly instructed him: "Syphilis is more contagious than AIDS, you must pay attention to safety." Your boyfriend will also be tested for HIV and syphilis. ”
Afterwards, I talked to Xiaoxiao on the phone several times, and he always said that my boyfriend was too busy with work to have time for testing, and finally it was gone. But Xiaoxiao's trust in me has increased more than before.
Once, he and his boyfriend were kicked out of the house and ran to my place to complain to me. He went out for half an hour and came back with a supermarket shopping bag. It turned out that he found out that I didn't have a high-end facial cleanser, cream, and hairspray here, so he went out and bought a bag, and then started washing his face, making facial masks, and blowing his hair...... I'm dizzy to see!
At five o'clock in the afternoon, Xiaoxiao answered a phone call, and then said happily: "My boyfriend and I have reconciled, I won't stay with you anymore, I will go back immediately!" I'll give you these cosmetics. ”
I lectured him angrily: "Your boyfriend is very good to you, don't annoy him willfully." Otherwise, one day he really kicks you out, don't you want to live on the streets? You haven't found a job yet, don't spend money indiscriminately! Take away these "rags" of yours! Cosmetics are for ugly people, why do I want cosmetics when I am naturally beautiful? ”
He laughed and grimaced, and rushed out like an arrow......
Let the laughter and chat until one or two o'clock in the evening
Blame until the hospital lost contact with him
After that, I contacted Xiaoxiao many times and told him that the side effects of the current drugs have been greatly reduced, and the drugs he was worried about have been gradually phased out, and the benefits of using drugs outweigh the disadvantages for him, and his life will be in danger if he does not use them. He always replied with a big grin, it's a big deal, it's nothing.
I later called his boyfriend and clarified what was at stake. His boyfriend also said that he would go back and persuade him. Finally, one day, he called and said that he had completed the medication procedures and was going to take the medicine. I was really overjoyed!
Xiaoxiao has not been working, goes to bed late and gets up late, and his living habits are very bad. He needed to get up early to go to the hospital, and he was extremely reluctant, so he chose a designated hospital closest to his home.
I told him the bus route and contact person of the hospital, and told him to call me after getting the medicine. He readily agreed, but didn't call until I got off work. I called and asked him if he was getting a combination of drugs to take once a day or twice?
He replied no, it was an injection! Ask him what injections he has? He was impatient, said he didn't know, signed a few pieces of paper, went home, and went to the hospital in a few days.
I gradually understood, and when I asked him if he was participating in a scientific research project, he replied yes. He was asked if he knew the name of the injection, and he said he didn't. I couldn't help but sigh, how could I sign without knowing anything! For small novels, you can get a subsidy of about 2,000 yuan after participating in the project.
I was secretly anxious and told him: "The top priority now is to take antiviral drugs as soon as possible, and I still have to continue to take antiviral drugs after the end of that scientific research project, which cannot be avoided no matter what!" He actually replied that he had to spend his own money for a physical examination when taking antiviral drugs, but he had a subsidy of 2,000 yuan to participate in scientific research projects! I was in a state of flux.
Xiaoxiao told me that the hospital implements strict closed management of the project, and must be hospitalized and not allowed to go out. When he was depressed, he talked to me on the phone, saying that several patients who participated in the program often chatted and frolicked until 1 or 2 o'clock in the morning before going to bed. I told him that going to bed too late has a big impact on CD4, and since he participated in the program, he should abandon those bad habits in the past, otherwise it is meaningless. He ignored it and continued to go his own way.
After the scientific research project, Xiaoxiao still did not take antiviral drugs. In fact, when the hospital first conducted the injection project, it was clearly informed that it must take antiviral drugs immediately after the end of the project, and it was also approved by the participants. The volunteers of the hospital were very responsible, and he called several times to urge Xiao Xiao to take medicine, but he shirked and even lied, until he finally changed his phone number, and the hospital completely lost contact with him!
"Skating" ignores the damage to the brain caused by drugs
Concealment Missed the last chance to live
Because of bad living habits, Xiaoxiao and her boyfriend have frequent conflicts. He went out to find a job, but he also went to work for three days to fish and two days to dry nets, and finally resigned and was "raised" by his boyfriend.
Later, he said on the phone that he had quarreled with his boyfriend again, because he had nothing to do at home, and he learned to "skate" (taking methamphetamine) after being bored, and was discovered by his boyfriend. It blew my mind. I told Xiaoxiao that the damage to the brain caused by drug use is irreversible, and that sex after drug use is very harmful to the body, so you must quit. He began the repetitive process of "detoxification-relapse-detoxification". The boyfriend was worried about losing him and gradually turned a blind eye to him.
Character determines fate, and this sentence is fully confirmed in Xiaoxiao. He lives in a world of his own imagination, doing his own thing, and it is difficult for him to listen to the persuasion of others. Jack, a foreign friend, also helped him many times, especially when he was in financial difficulty. Jack later said to him, "I can help you, but you have to help yourself first—you have to start taking the medicine right away!" Otherwise everything I do doesn't make any sense. ”
When I met Xiaoxiao, he weighed only 90 pounds, but he was still worried about gaining weight and losing weight. One day at the end of the year, I persuaded him to take medicine again on the phone, and persuaded him not to indulge himself after taking drugs again, and he replied, I am now a "white bone spirit", how can I have the strength to do that?
Then, he came out with the fallacy that "taking medicine will change your appearance, so I'd rather die than take medicine". I'm angry, the lesser of two evils, isn't life more precious than face? On the other end of the phone, he was silent for a long time, and finally said: "I will think about it, thank you, brother, I will always remember you." ”
I didn't expect this sentence to become a great sound!
After Xiaoxiao passed away, I learned about his last days through his boyfriend. The boyfriend took the emaciated little to the hospital to see a doctor, and the doctor diagnosed malnutrition, so the boyfriend bought him a lot of supplements. Since he did not go to a designated hospital for the treatment of AIDS, the doctor did not understand his condition, and he did not say anything himself, and he missed the last chance to give birth again!
Hearing that his son was getting thinner, his father came from his hometown. Seeing that Xiao Xiao was critically ill, his father was worried that he would die in a foreign land, and offered to take him back to his hometown immediately. The boyfriend was sad and hurriedly bought a plane ticket to send them back. On the day he arrived home, all of Xiaoxiao's relatives and friends went to visit him. He died quietly the next day at the age of twenty-three.
Before his death, Xiaoxiao was afraid that his face would change because of taking medicine, but now how much fat powder can cover his skinny bones when he was dying? What is the reason for him to wither in the flowering season of his life? Has the little one of the other worlds had an epiphany?