"At our high school reunion, a group of sisters with an average age of 42 years old, most of the women don't go to work!"
I think that at the beginning, these sisters were academic tyrants, either from 985 colleges or 211 universities, and they all had a good job after graduation, and they had a good life.
But time flies, more than 20 years have passed, and everyone has changed a lot. The sisters have husbands, families and children, but they don't have jobs.
01，
Who doesn't want to have a successful career? However, the road to the workplace is really frightening for middle-aged women.
Want to balance family and career? That's even harder; Not to mention getting pregnant and having children, it is simply a "time bomb" in the workplace.
Once they make a mistake, there are only two ways left for sisters who want to be promoted: either they become working mothers, or they completely give up the road to career advancement.
When Ah Hua first got a job, she was full of pride and wanted to do a big job.
But less than a month after joining the company, a 44-year-old sister who came in at the same time as her was laid off.
The reason? Simple and crude - the project does not need so many people, and the sister is old and new, so she naturally becomes a "victim".
Although Ah Hua stayed, she didn't feel good in her heart, because she was a year older than the sister who was laid off!
Tragedy struck anyway, and it didn't take long for her to be notified.
"Now the situation has changed and there is no need for so many people," said the department head. You can consider finding a better job or staying and taking a pay cut. ”
Therefore, the career path of middle-aged women is "one pit at a time".
When applying for a job for a woman, whether you are single or married, whether you have a partner or not, the interviewer will always throw out those few thunderous questions:
"Is there a partner now?" "When will you get married?" "Do you have any plans to get pregnant?"
They will worry about whether you will have a child and whether it will affect your work and whether you will take frequent leave because of your child. I will also worry about you because your children are sick, go to school and other trivial matters, you can't accept invisible overtime, and you can't complete work anytime and anywhere.
From the company's point of view, they are not wrong.
Not to mention pregnancy and maternity leave, it is simply a taboo for the company, insufficient manpower, too much loss, all these crimes can be blamed on your head.
Finally, until the children can walk and go to school, you think you can breathe a sigh of relief and find a stable job to support the family.
But people are approaching 40 years old, and the workplace needs younger blood, you are like the fruit that is out of season, and no one wants to see it anymore.
Middle-aged women are trapped in marriage.
02，
I have a friend who is looking for a job, my husband and children are not around, and I live separately from my family.
I thought she could take it easy, after all, there was no family tie-up. However, when looking for a job, I still encountered all kinds of discrimination.
After only half a month on the job, the company began to doubt her: if her husband and children were not around, whether she could really stay in the company stably.
No matter how hard she worked, this doubt and dissatisfaction still enveloped her like a haze.
The other party always asks her about her family problems, but does not say a word about her professional ability. It's as if there is nothing else to pay attention to on her resume other than the word "mother".
Women are migrant workers in the workplace, and when they return home, they are wives, mothers, and daughters, and each role carries responsibilities and expectations.
However, these roles can sometimes make us feel lost and helpless in the workplace.
However, since you have become a woman, you have to be strong and brave and learn to find a balance in multiple roles, after all, life has to be so tossed to be interesting!
In the pile of friends, we are good partners who talk and laugh, play and play, share happiness together, and complain about life together.
But as soon as I got home, I immediately transformed! has become an intimate little padded jacket, and she is the good daughter of her parents; turned around, and became an omnipotent superhuman mother again, and she had to make some time to be herself, chase dramas, go shopping, and enjoy her own little luck.
03，
The figures mentioned in the "China Fertility Cost Report 2024 Edition", how much money and how much time it takes to raise a child!
Especially when children are 0-4 years old, it is simply a double test of time and money.
For the sake of their families and children, women have to reduce their working hours or even give up their careers altogether.
But home is not a one-man arena! Taking care of children and building a family is a matter of husband and wife!
But why do women always carry so much?
On the one hand, those old concepts are still at work: "the male dominates the outside, the female protagonist is inside", as if taking care of the child is inherently the mother's responsibility.
On the other hand, we also have to look at the actual conditions. In many households, men may earn more and contribute more to the family's economy.
Therefore, women can only sacrifice their careers to complete the family.
The book "Career or Family, Women's Centennial Journey in Pursuit of Equality" says it well: "Men give up time with their families, and women give up part of their careers." ”
In this way, the man became the pillar of the family, and the woman became a good wife and mother.
The desk becomes the kitchen and living room of the home, and work becomes a chore that can never be done.
04，
Amu has been a housewife at home for 15 years, and then finally found a job arranging shelves in a shopping mall.
Although the salary is not high, and she has to work six days a week, she feels that at least she can have some time for herself.
However, she and her husband agreed to share the housework together, and it didn't take long for the house to become a mess.
First, the cost of living has increased, no one cooks, so you can only order takeout every day; The second is that my husband is also busy with work, and he wants to rest when he comes home, so how can he have the energy to clean up the house?
So, this thing is really not so simple to solve.
No one cooks and takes out every day, household expenses have increased, and even health has begun to turn on red lights. And her husband promised to help with housework, but within a few days, he excused himself to be busy with official business and didn't go home for dinner, even if he did housework, it was a hasty matter.
Because of this, the couple quarreled again and again. In the end, Amu relented, quit her job and went home, continuing to be her housewife.
This housewife is a good way to go, but the reality is that for various reasons, I have to choose this identity.
If you want to break the game, you must first learn to let go and get rid of those trivial housework.
Housework can never be done, but it doesn't have to be done alone. Share housework with your husband, cultivate your children's self-care skills, and free up more time to pursue more possibilities!
05，
Some people will laugh that women can only do the "auspicious three guarantees" jobs after returning to the workplace - insurance, childcare workers, and nannies.
Is that really the case?
Find what you are good at, have an indomitable heart, and you will be able to mix well in the workplace.
48-year-old Amei, who has submitted her resume hundreds of times and left her job twice, has become more and more courageous and resolutely refuses to give up!
The interview front desk was suspected of being old, when the real estate agent met a very unreasonable customer, and later she found that someone on the Internet sold wool live teaching knitting sweaters, she had a flash of inspiration, combined with her hobby began to sell handicrafts.
Online live teaching weaving, live teaching crochet finished products are sold at the subway entrance, and there is also a lot of income.
"If you want to focus on something during this time, you can get it done. After a while, I'll take a breath of relief, and I'll do something else. ”
Life is so long, why do we have to set limits for ourselves? Whether it's a stay-at-home mother or a working mother, it's just a different stage of life.
Children have their own way to go, and in addition to being mothers, we women have countless possibilities waiting for us to discover!
So sisters, we have to learn to embrace the challenges and opportunities of every day, and do our best to be ourselves, so that life will be smooth!
Sister, are you a working mom or a stay-at-home mom? Tell your story.