Yu Nani has been a prosecutor for eight years, and he often encounters cases with emotional disputes, and has seen too many scumbags and scumbags.
The first emotional experience he shared with me was that from your online shopping history, you can better understand what kind of person your partner is.
There is a basis for what he said, and there have been cases on the Internet for several years, and a book about the dismemberment of corpses has appeared in the online shopping record of a man.
Soon after, the body of the man's daughter-in-law appeared in the freezer. The way to die is exactly the same as it is written in the book.
Yu Nani himself has experienced a similar thing, in the second year he entered the procuratorate, he encountered this case-
The boy dies in an eerie state, and before he dies, the shopping history is flipped through from beginning to end.
It's really hard to say how weird the picture taken in the law enforcement recorder will be when the police encounter a murder.
In the eight years I have been in the procuratorate, I have handled hundreds of cases, and I have watched more than 1,000 images taken by law enforcement cameras on the old and stuck desktop computers in the hospital. When the police confronted the scene of a bloody and violent crime, I was the one behind them, calmly assessing the evidence.
But this time, I forgot to judge, and I was only surprised.
The picture in the recorder was obviously in the early hours of the morning, and the community was quiet, except for the last few cicadas in summer, making anxious chirps.
I followed the swaying perspective of the police handling the case, went up to the seventh floor, and stopped outside the door of a house.
The police knocked on the door, but no one answered, but there was light through the crack in the door. The firefighters "clicked" with a hydraulic press and broke the security door, but there was still no one.
The family rushed to the door of one of the bedrooms and kicked it open.
I was stunned by the scene in front of me.
A young man was lying on his back on the ground, with a large pool of blood beside him. Strangely, above his heart, there is a soft rabbit doll. It was about the size of two palms, with fluffy ears hanging down the chest of a young man, and a pair of black eyes like glass balls, innocent and bright.
The police at the police station squatted down and wanted to take a closer look at the doll. In the body camera, the rabbit's face is getting closer and closer to me.
Its eyes were right on the body camera, as if they were looking me in the eye.
Take the rabbit, and under it, there is a bloody wound on the man's left chest.
I got goosebumps.
I carefully compared the statements of the informant, the police, and the doctors and firefighters who came to the scene in the transcript to try to understand the whole picture of the case.
In the early morning of October 9, 2017, the police received a report that a father said that his son was missing.
The afternoon before, he had sent a message to his son and received no reply. At night, he and his wife drove several hours from the city next door to their son's dormitory. They couldn't get in, but they could see from the balcony that there was a light in the house, so they called the police.
Soon, the police arrived at the scene.
As soon as you enter the scene, there is a living room, and on the ceiling is a three-leaf ceiling fan, and the blade joints are a little faded. An orange bath towel tied in a ring hangs from the fan, and a chair is placed underneath. It looks like someone once tied a towel to a ceiling fan and tried to hang themselves from a chair.
The living room was full of blood, though no one was there, and it continued to the bathroom and kitchen.
This converging blood road eventually leads to the closed bedroom on the southeast side of the apartment.
Inside, a young male was lying on the ground, no longer breathing. And the most conspicuous wound on his body, and most likely fatal, is exactly in front of his left chest, where the gray rabbit doll is placed.
In the bedroom, in addition to the young man, there was another person.
It was a young woman, undressed, lying on her bed. Similarly, she had wounds on her left chest, but more than the man lying on the ground, four on her left chest and several on her neck.
After examination, the woman still had weak vital signs, and the police signaled the medical staff to immediately send her to the hospital for rescue.
Police searched the bedroom for physical evidence. At the head of the bed, there were two blood-stained fruit knives. On the bedside table there was a drug packaging bag with the words "ibuprofen extended-release tablets" written on it, and there were bloodstained mineral water bottles on the floor.
There was a wooden table on the west side of the bedroom, and the police found a note with writing on it under the table, which was stained with some dripping blood.
The note read: "Child, Mom and Dad are here to accompany you." ”
The police are worried about causing discomfort to the family or destroying the first scene. After the family kicked open the bedroom door, the parents of the deceased were persuaded to wait outside. The old couple still saw their son lying on the ground and the girl covered in scars on the bed.
Not only did they know this girl, but they were also very familiar with it. She is her son's ex-girlfriend, and the parents of both sides have also met.
It's just that a year ago, the son told them that the two broke up.
After inspecting the scene, there was no trace of outsiders entering, and combined with the strange note, everyone's speculation about this case was martyrdom.
But the old couple told the police: martyrdom? No way.
On the day of the incident, the police found the parents of the man and woman separately and made a record of them.
The dead boy's name was Zhou Quan.
When making the transcript, Zhou's father was emotional, and he emphasized that his son "has a lively and cheerful personality, is relatively sunny, and can be said to be a scholar in reading." ”
He and his wife have only one child, who graduated from graduate school this year and joined a local state-owned enterprise.
At 14 o'clock in the afternoon, Zhou's father asked his son if he had arrived at the training center, and received a reply, "It's almost there." ”
At 21 o'clock in the evening, he called Zhou Quan several times, but the phone was never answered. Maybe his son was busy chatting with his new colleagues and didn't ask much, he thought. Near 11 p.m., the couple received a call from Zhou Quan's colleague who said that he had not been to the training center at all.
The couple realized that something might have happened to their son.
But the current situation is something they could not have imagined. During the National Day holiday a few days ago, the old couple accompanied their son to see the house in the city and paid a deposit of 100,000 yuan. They couldn't believe that their son, who was about to move into a new life, could go to martyrdom.
When making the transcript, Zhou's father repeated it four times, "I don't believe my son will commit suicide!" ”
On the other side, I was reading the dossier, took a deep breath, and opened his son's thoughtful autopsy report.
It was the first time in my life that I looked at a real autopsy report, and when I opened the high-definition picture, a life not much different from my age, lying on the stainless steel dissection table, I couldn't help but shiver, how cold it was. When I was in college, I also took a forensic science class, and the teacher showed us a video of the early years of anatomy at Union Hospital, and the screen was gray and snowflake-like, and I had to squint to see it.
The clear color photos in front of me made my eyes dare not stay for a long time, and my hands trembled a little.
I flipped to the conclusion page.
There were only two wounds on the deceased's body, one deep and one shallow. The wound was deep, located on the left chest of the deceased, through the fourth rib and into the ribcage, right in the heart. This was also the final cause of his death, and the very shallow one, on the thumb of his right hand, seemed to have been accidentally cut by a knife.
Other than that, Zhou didn't have any defensive wounds all over his body. In other words, there was no fierce entanglement between the two sides.
Strangely, thoughtful parents repeatedly emphasized, "He couldn't have committed suicide." ”
But in the face of death, how could he not have any signs of resistance?
Since Zhouquan's parents could not give more information, and the girl was still unconscious, the police decided to start with the girl's family.
The girl's name is An Xiaoman.
When the police contacted An Xiaoman's parents, it was already the morning of the crime.
At 3 a.m., the hospital called An Xiaoman's parents, saying that their daughter was seriously injured and was being rescued, but An's father thought it was a scam call. It wasn't until six o'clock in the morning that the police station called him again that he realized something was wrong.
He only heard about his daughter's breakup with Zhou Quan a few months ago.
And the night before, my daughter called and said that she was going to play in the city next door with her classmates. She's going to be in the city where she works. So An's father thought that maybe his daughter was looking for Zhou Quan, so he called Zhou's father, but Zhou's father said, "I don't want to say more, let the police station talk to you." ”
When they arrived at the local police station, they learned about the situation.
As for what happened between the young couple and how they came to suicide, they also don't know anything.
The clue was interrupted again, and the only one who could restore what happened at that time was An Xiaoman, who was gradually waking up in the hospital.
A day after the incident, An Xiaoman woke up in the Armed Police Hospital.
The girl was in her twenties, with long hair and a pure appearance. The most impressive thing is her eyes, which are big and bright, and there is a hint of innocence when looking at you, like a rabbit doll left at the scene of a murder, and there are also transparent eyes like double glass balls.
She made a transcript that was consistent with her parents, and that she and the deceased had broken up.
But she told us that this time we went to the deceased's house to get back together.
She spent the night in Zhou Quan's dormitory and had sex, and the next morning, when Zhou Quan was about to go out, she took two painkillers, locked the door in the bathroom, and took out the fruit knife prepared in advance in her bag to kill herself. The two had an argument before they met, which is why she would prepare a fruit knife.
Zhou Quan guessed that she was going to commit suicide outside the door and slammed the door open.
She raised her fruit knife and stabbed at Zhou Quan. She said the knife was inserted into Zhou Quan's left chest, and the other party pulled out the knife and threw it on the ground.
"Zhou Quan bled a lot, and my feet and shoes were covered in blood."
Strangely, she immediately pulled out another knife from her bag, and this time Zhou Quan tried to grab it, but couldn't.
She first helped Zhou Quan to the bedroom, and then she found a bath towel in the wardrobe, and wanted to tie the bath towel to the ceiling fan in the living room to hang herself, but it came down after hanging for a few seconds. She took the remaining five rows of painkillers, picked up the fruit knife on the ground, and returned to Zhou Quan.
She handed the knife to Zhou Quan, pulled up her blouse, and let Zhou Quan insert a knife. Zhou Quan took the knife in his right hand, stabbed her in the left chest, and pulled out the knife and put it on the ground.
She lay next to Zhou Quan, clutching his hand, unconscious.
I don't know how long it took, An Xiaoman woke up, she shouted "BB" to Zhou Quan, but the other party did not respond.
She opened the phone with thoughtful fingers and replied to two WeChat messages. One is that Zhou Quan's father asked, have you set off? An Xiaoman replied, "It's almost there." Another colleague from Zhou Quan, saying that he was waiting for Zhou Quan's departure, An Xiaoman replied, "Don't wait, I'll find a way to go by myself." ”
Then she fell into a half-asleep again, and when she woke up, she felt that she was still not dead, and stabbed herself twice in the neck with a fruit knife.
After a while, she heard someone outside the door shouting, "The woman is still breathing," and then someone put something on her neck.
When she woke up again, she was in the hospital.
And at the second interrogation, An Xiaoman actually changed his words again, about how Zhou Quan was stabbed, she said-
"Zhou Quan reached out to grab my knife" "Zhou Quan was stabbed in the left chest in the process of grabbing the knife. ”
It is also for this reason that when the police handed over the file box to our procuratorate, the charge column read: negligence causing death.
After reading the dossier, I looked up at Master.
That's not right.
In An Xiaoman's two confessions, the first time was "I stabbed it." ”
The second time was "I missed the stab." ”
There is a big difference in the sentencing between the two, and in law it is the difference between intentional homicide and manslaughter. The maximum penalty for the crime of causing death by negligence is not less than three years but not more than seven years in prison. Intentional homicide means at least life imprisonment, imprisonment for life, or even death.
We need more evidence to confirm An Xiaoman's crimes.
I discussed with Master that regardless of whether An Xiaoman intended it or not, in law, she had an obligation to help Zhou Quan. But An Xiaoman not only did not actively rescue, but also deliberately concealed his thoughtful deeds and extinguished the last flame he survived. This is legally likely to amount to indirect intentional homicide.
After listening to my judgment, Master nodded.
Five days later, we reversed the verdict made by the police, changed the charge from negligence causing death to intentional homicide, and approved An Xiaoman's arrest.
Two months later, the police's continued investigation added a detail of the case, which once again confusing An Xiaoman's crime.
Police said neither fruit knife had thoughtful fingerprints on them. Therefore, it is difficult to determine whether Zhou Quan grabbed the knife and who actually pulled it out.
An Xiaoman said that she washed the handle of the knife, as for why she cleaned the knife, she said: I don't know.
The police asked, if this was just a dispute between lovers, and An Xiaoman wanted to commit suicide in Zhou Quan's house to take revenge, why didn't he call for help for so long when Zhou Quan was injured due to his mistake?
An Xiaoman's answer was, "I don't know." ”
I always felt like she was hiding something.
I re-opened the thorough autopsy report, and the numbers on the ruler showed that the fruit knife that stabbed him was 11 centimeters long, and the wound was 10.5 centimeters deep—
The force of the knife was quite large, and the blade almost completely pierced into Zhou Quan's chest.
Is this really an accidental stab?
I thought of An Xiaoman's clear eyes again, what secrets were hidden in those innocent eyes?
The police retrieved the chat records of the young couple, and I found the girl's Weibo, which contained her years-long mental records.
I tried to reconstruct the couple's relationship over a longer period of time, and find a possible motive for the murder.
An Xiaoman said that she met Zhou Quan in 2005 at a key middle school.
She is one year younger than Zhou Quan, when she was in middle school, the two fell in love, and after the breakup, Zhou Quan fell in love with another girl, and she also committed suicide because of it. The two only got back together after graduating from high school.
It's just that at this time, the reality gap between the two began to come to the fore.
After graduating from high school, Zhou Quan was admitted to a 985 university in the province. The following year, An Xiaoman took the college entrance examination and only went to junior college.
After getting back together again, An Xiaoman met Zhou Quan's parents, and she knew that Zhou Quan was born in a Kochi family, and his parents were both college graduates, and he also had an official position in the system. And her own parents are not so highly educated, one graduated from junior high school, the other has a college degree, and works in a bank.
At first, the relationship between the two families was good. In 2015, she and Zhou Quan also took their parents to travel to Taiwan.
It was also the year that she became pregnant, and the ultrasound report from the hospital showed that the embryo was about 7 weeks in size. Zhou Quan's parents proposed that their son was still in graduate school, and that he should not affect his studies because of this, and that he should get rid of the child.
Although An Xiaoman's mother and grandmother disagreed, she eventually had an abortion accompanied by a boy.
I remembered the strange suicide note at the scene of the crime, perhaps addressed to this child. An Xiaoman said in her confession that blood flowed out after she was stabbed in her left chest by Zhou Quan. She walked over to the desk and wrote with a pen and paper, "Child, Mom and Dad are here to accompany you." ”
Later, he wrote, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have given up on you in the first place." ”
It can be seen that she is actually very concerned about the abortion, and even plans to commit suicide in Zhouquan's residence, which may be related to this incident. When the two sides had an argument and stabbed each other, she also thought that she would die in the room with Zhou Quan, and her last regret was, "I have always felt very guilty, blaming myself for not being brave enough to leave the child behind." ”
After the abortion, the two families had no contact.
In 2016, a year before the tragedy, Zhouquan's parents began to prevent the two from continuing their relationship. In the transcript, Zhou Quan's good buddy recalled, "Zhou Quan's mood was relatively low during that time. "What Zhou Quan said to his good buddy is-
The two parties have not yet reached the time to talk about marriage.
He felt that there was a gap between himself and An Xiaoman in terms of education. His parents also objected to his association with An Xiaoman. He felt that his parents had paid a lot for him, and what they said made sense. He said that An Xiaoman is a very pestering person, his parents don't care, he has no tutor, and his personality is more extreme.
But he didn't break up with An Xiaoman completely immediately, but hid it from his parents and continued to communicate with her.
It was also in this year that Zhou Quan helped An Xiaoman contact the school and accommodation for the IELTS test.
An Xiaoman began to study seriously, wanting to improve his academic qualifications and even study abroad in the future.
When retrieving information, I happened to turn to An Xiaoman's Weibo.
Her signature is, not independent and excellent, no words of love.
And in her Weibo that year, I saw a lot of evidence about "excellent". She posted a picture of herself joining the poetry club, and her name appeared in the list of key members. A month later, she also participated in the school's calligraphy competition and won the second prize in the "non-professional group".
On her Weibo homepage, she added super talk topics such as "IELTS", "English" and "studying abroad".
She wrote, "Don't always try to change your shortcomings, just keep magnifying your strengths." Someday, the shortcomings will be corrected. ”
It's like silently cheering up myself who worked hard at that time.
2016 happened to be the year when the Korean drama "Descendants of the Sun" became popular. An Xiaoman also transferred a Weibo related to the show, and the screenshot of the original Weibo is a clip of the male protagonist rescuing the kidnapped female protagonist. Her caption reads, "He never had a moment of timidity, and every moment I ever saw was glorious." ”
I can see that she is trying hard to meet the expectations of a qualified girlfriend.
She may have thought at the time, but fortunately Zhou Quan was on her side.
When I turned back to the testimony of my friend, I only felt a chill.
In the mouth of a friend, his description of An Xiaoman is: parents don't care, no tutor, and more extreme.
Zhou Quan minded the gap between the two in terms of academic qualifications, at first, it was just that his parents objected.
But he also told his friends that he was worried about affecting An Xiaoman's IELTS status, so he kept in touch with her.
When the graduation season came, Zhou Quan joined a state-owned enterprise, and An Xiaoman joined a middle school, and I guess she was ready to work and apply at the same time.
The two started a new stage of life respectively, and their relationship status also underwent some changes.
In July, the two had a quarrel, and he was questioned by An Xiaoman why he was so afraid that his parents would know that they were still together.
And his final reply to An Xiaoman was, "Forget it." ”
We retrieved An Xiaoman's mobile phone records, and her phone note to Zhou Quan was still "boyfriend". The last WeChat chat between the two took place on July 11. Zhou Quan said, "I'm not used to it without you." "Based on this message, I speculate that the two have broken up during this time.
An Xiaoman replied, "You chose it." ”
Zhou Quan said, "Didn't you choose it, I don't want you to trap myself because of me." If it weren't for me, maybe you wouldn't have taken the English (IELTS) test this year, and it would have been better to find a job as a teacher. ”
I can't imagine how An Xiaoman would feel when he saw such news. If her efforts are to make herself worthy of thoughtful love, the other party's words are like telling her that the so-called efforts to be together do not exist.
The last message of the two stopped, An Xiaoman said, "You chose it, if you don't dare, you chose it." ”
I think An Xiaoman has clearly realized that the thoughtful concession at this moment is his most real choice.
Soon after the two broke up, Zhou Quan decided to pursue a female colleague he met at his new company.
When he talked about it with his good buddy, in addition to mentioning his new life, he also said, "I feel sorry for An Xiaoman, I feel very guilty and blame myself." ”
At the same time, An Xiaoman stepped into the psychology department of a local hospital. The hospital's outpatient checklist showed that An Xiaoman had already experienced symptoms of mild anxiety and mild depression.
When I saw An Xiaoman's Weibo during that time, a sentence came to my mind, "Either get it or destroy it." ”
Because as soon as she opened her homepage, there was only one kind of information densely: turn koi.
One a day, or even two a day.
I could feel her urgency to be with Zhou Quan.
From summer to National Day, the two no longer have contact on WeChat, but they still make phone calls.
On the National Day of 2017, four days before the case, An Xiaoman wanted to meet Zhou Quan. She ran downstairs to Zhou Quan's house, and waited until the early morning of the next day before Zhou Quan went downstairs to see her. This time, Zhou Quan seemed to be ruthless, he told An Xiaoman that he had a new girlfriend and had sex with the other party.
An Xiaoman was very angry after hearing this, she bit the position on the top of Zhou Quan's left chest, and left a scar.
It's weird in hindsight, because the place where she bit off is exactly where she will stab with a knife next and put the rabbit doll on.
This time they met during the National Day holiday, and after Zhou Quan was bitten, the two did not discuss a result of this relationship.
And the next day, Zhou Quan was going to take his parents out on a trip. He promised An Xiaoman that he would come back to see her when he finished his trip with his parents.
That night, Zhou Quan was still chatting with his good buddy An Xiaoman, saying, "She (An Xiaoman) came downstairs to me at one o'clock last night, I didn't see her, she sat in the skylight, and then cried." I feel as if I'm not sure about to fall apart in any way. ”
The next day he said, "But to be honest, her grandmother called me at that time, and I was really a little scared, and I deleted her at that time, but then she was very rational, surprisingly rational, and felt that her entanglement was terrible before, and now I think it's okay for her to be like this." ”
When the two made an appointment, An Xiaoman found that Zhou Quan had not returned.
She spent 600 yuan to take a taxi to the downstairs of Zhou's family and pounced.
Zhou Quan said that he went back to the dormitory in the city where he worked. When he learned that she had gone so far away and hadn't eaten for a long time, he relented again and asked An Xiaoman to come to the dormitory to find her.
An Xiaoman got into the taxi again.
On the same day, in the afternoon, Zhou Quan said goodbye to his parents near the staff dormitory. On the same day, they were optimistic about a 100-square-meter house and paid a deposit of 100,000 yuan. Thoughtful parents thought that this was just an ordinary separation, and their son was about to start a new life of his own. They also agreed to take family photos together during the Chinese New Year.
The pointer passed midnight, and the National Day holiday ended. Zhou Quan sat downstairs in the dormitory, waiting for An Xiaoman's arrival.
It was very hot that day, An Xiaoman wore sandals and a sundress, and carried his black bag, and finally met Zhou Quan after traveling more than 200 kilometers.
No one would know that a few hours ago, she bought two fruit knives for 60 yuan at a supermarket near her home.
The clerk casually asked her what she bought it for.
She said, "The sharper the better. ”
At this meeting, An Xiaoman proposed to get back together, but Zhou Quan did not agree. Strangely, An Xiaoman accepted it calmly, and the two did not quarrel.
On that day, the two had sex twice.
In the midst of small talk, Zhou Quan still persuaded An Xiaoman to study hard. It wasn't until Zhou Quan was stabbed and helped to the floor of the bedroom that he told An Xiaoman that in fact, he didn't talk about a new girlfriend at all, just to make An Xiaoman die.
So that they can all start a new life.
An Xiaoman just said "I'm sorry" to him. She asked Zhou Quan to stab her back and lay on the ground with him.
It's just that Zhou Quan soon lost consciousness, and his mouth became more and more pale.
An Xiaoman always wakes up.
She took out Zhou Quan's mobile phone from his jeans pocket, unlocked it with his fingerprint, and looked at his WeChat chat history, mobile phone albums, memos, communication records, etc., she still wanted to personally confirm what the relationship between Zhou Quan and the "rival in love" she thought was.
After flipping through the mobile phone records, An Xiaoman took out the stuffed rabbit that Zhou Quan had given her from the hanging bag and put it on Zhou Quan's chest. It was a rabbit that they both liked very much, but An Xiaoman saw in his thoughtful shopping records that he bought the same doll and gave it to the girl he was pursuing.
She placed the stuffed rabbit on her chest.
In An Xiaoman's final confession, she said, "I want to continue to be with Zhou Quan, and if I can't, I will commit suicide, because I live a hard life every day." ”
Buy painkillers in advance because you are afraid of pain.
She also said that she bought two fruit knives because she was afraid that only one would be taken away by the other party, and she didn't think about hurting others with knives.
It was determined that An Xiaoman was in normal mind at the time of the crime and had full capacity for criminal responsibility.
In law, An Xiaoman had the obligation to rescue Zhou Quan because of his stabbing behavior, but An Xiaoman, who was desperate, deliberately concealed the fact that Zhou Quan was injured. Therefore, based on the above evidence, Master and I transferred the case to the municipal procuratorate for prosecution for the crime of "intentional homicide (indirect intention)".
Zhou Quan's father entrusted a lawyer, and after reading the case file, he submitted a legal opinion requesting the death penalty for immediate execution, resolutely refusing to accept the understanding, and the words were full of indignation at the loss of his only son. An Xiaoman's parents also entrusted a defender to try to reduce An Xiaoman's culpability on the grounds of "chaos from the beginning to the end".
In September 2018, An Xiaoman was convicted of intentional homicide and sentenced to life imprisonment and deprivation of political rights for life. Compensation of more than 66,000 yuan for various expenses of attached civil litigation. In January 2019, the original verdict was upheld in the second instance, and then An Xiaoman's family filed a complaint, and at the end of December 2019, the High Court rejected the appeal.
As the judge wrote in his final verdict -
"An Xiaoman was born of love and hate, and had the idea that if they couldn't be together, they would die together."
At this point, the case came to an end in legal proceedings.
The more An Xiaoman loves his other half, the heavier the obsession he wants to get; The amount of effort she had put into it was was and how devastating she would be the moment she got the answer. She said that if she is not independent, she will not love words, but when she puts everything and herself on the other half, is it really a kind of "independence"?
An Xiaoman finally went to an emotional death.
And the deceased Zhou Quan also fell in a pool of blood, and spent the last period of time with the love token he sent - the rabbit doll. Maybe it's hard for him to think that no matter how docile a rabbit is, it shouldn't be treated casually, how do you know if there's a sharp knife hidden behind the rabbit?
Looking back at these two people, I always think of the sentence "ask what the world is like", but I never thought that the answer was "Straight people are forced by life and death." ”
When I was working on the case, I wanted to know what kind of young man I was dealing with.
I've seen a photo of An Xiaoman in the dossier, it should be a ID photo, she still looks like a student, with short hair in the middle part, and her eyes are bright.
And in the surveillance of her going to the pharmacy to buy medicine, her hair is over her shoulders. The surveillance camera of the pharmacy was right at the door, so close to her that I could almost see the dazed and desperate look in her eyes before going to the appointment with the determination to die.
The moment I saw her eyes, I almost settled on the chair in the office.
I remembered a Weibo posted by An Xiaoman a long time ago.
She was in her early twenties that year, not long after graduating from high school, and there were many good friends and beloved pets in the world.
When she woke up that day, she found that on the palm of her hand, there were two more crescent marks from her fingernails, which were quite hard and red.
She wondered, "What kind of dream do you have to hold your hands so tightly?" ”
Nanani told me that he wrote this story to talk about how people can cope with loss.
Especially the loss of a relationship that is particularly important to you.
In the eight years since he was prosecuted, he has encountered many cases of "destroying if you can't get it", or pinning the meaning of his life on others.
He found that these people seemed to have walked into a dead end of feelings, unable to think about it, unable to break free, and didn't know how to say it if they wanted to ask for help, or even dared to say it.
They all seem to have one thing in common: they don't know how to express their sadness.
These sorrows are suppressed in the bottom of the heart, and can turn into various ways to hurt yourself or others.
He heard from a psychotherapist's book that there was a solution, which was to write a eulogy for a deceased relationship.
Take a moment to sit down, get out a pen and paper, and miss what this love means to you and how its passing has affected you. Then read the eulogy you wrote aloud and imagine that your feelings have been buried. ”
Burying a relationship that is not suitable for you does not mean the end, but a new beginning in life.
It's also a process of digesting grief, and we're not sure how long it lasts, but trust that it has an end.
Today's story is the first of Yu Nani's three consecutive updates. Next Tuesday at 9:04 p.m., Nanani will bring the second story of the [Emotional Bureau] series, [Deception].
Everyone is welcome to book an alarm clock in advance and urge us to update it on time.
(Some of the characters in the article are pseudonyms)
Editor: Zhao Daoni Little Whirlwind
Illustration: Big Five Flowers
This article is 8858 words
The reading time is about 23 minutes