Text/Lan's mother talks about parenting
I read such a question on the Internet:
"Why is it that when we were children, there was no one to pick us up from school, and we went out to work at the age of ten, five or six, and we went home once a year, while now our children are in the fifth or sixth grade, junior high school, and high school, and the school gate is full of parents who pick up and drop off?"
The highest praised sentence in the comment area is: "Because when I was a child, my biggest wish was that my mother could pick me up with an umbrella when it rained, but never, so my child must not let him get wet in the rain, and now all the good for the child is also making up for himself when he was a child, and he doesn't want to let his child eat again."
Yes, those who have been drenched in the rain want to hold up an umbrella for those who are drenched in the rain
At the beginning, the group of people who had never been picked up, rained, lonely, and bullied, after they grew up and had children, they naturally did not want their children to walk alone on the way to school again
Therefore, many parents who are now meticulous about their children are actually raising themselves "when they were young".
And now many children have to pick up and drop off when they are in high school, basically because of the following points:
01
safety
There are many people in the car, and there are many potential safety hazards for children
The safety of children is a top priority, and for parents, there is nothing more important in this world than the safety of children
When my daughter was in the first grade, the teacher asked her parents to pick up her at the school gate before she could leave the school when she saw her parents
During that time, it was common to hear some parents complaining:
"The school is so far away from home, and the children themselves know the way home, even if the school does not see the parents and does not let the children go, we have no choice but to pick up and drop off every day."
Later, after experiencing multiple motorcycle collisions at the school gate, many parents stopped complaining and silently accompanied their children to and from school every day
And the thing that had palpitations in my heart also happened to Lan's mother
That time, I was holding my eldest daughter with my left hand and my younger daughter with my right hand, and I was walking at a uniform pace on the way to school
Suddenly, a motorcycle whizzed by, and the rearview mirror collided with the little daughter's shoulder
The most annoying thing was that the owner of the motorcycle drove away directly, and I couldn't help but curse a few words when I was left stunned
Squatted down and checked carefully, but fortunately, the impact was not strong, and the daughter was not injured
After sending the eldest daughter to school, the more I thought about it, the more angry I became, and directly dragged the younger daughter to the intersection that the traffic police uncle commanded every day to complain
At that time, the traffic police uncle also said helplessly: "We stop at this intersection every day, just don't let the motorcycle pass, but some people don't dissuade it, and they have to pierce when they see it."
Watching them directing traffic under the scorching sun, and then looking at the congestion of people, cars, and even walking on the road, I really realized the crisis of my children on the way to and from school every day
Another time, a spiritual man appeared on the street, and he liked to play with those children every day
But the children didn't know it, and when they saw the man coming up, they put their shoulders on their shoulders and ran after him, and they were all scared
Some went home and told their parents, while others were too scared to go to school
Later, after investigation, it was found that the man had mental problems and was also taken back by his family to take care of him
But as parents, few can really put their minds at ease, what everyone can do is to guard the safety of their children, watch their children walk into school, and then take them home in person, in order to truly feel at ease
Therefore, even though my eldest daughter is in the third grade, even if she repeatedly asks "I can go to school without pick-up", I insist on dropping her off at the school gate every morning
After all, children's safety is no trivial matter, and what we parents can do is to prevent problems before they happen, try to stifle the danger in the cradle, and let the children get adequate protection before they have the ability to protect themselves
02
make up for
I don't want my child to suffer again
Before, I saw such a netizen on the Internet asking:
"I don't understand why today's children have a kettle in their hands, and their schoolbags are so heavy, and they will go home for dinner at noon, and they don't drink even though they carry a kettle, so why do they have to carry this burden"
Some people say: go out every day to carry a kettle, I don't know if I drink the water in it, anyway, if I forget to carry it one day, the first thing I say when I get home is: "I'm dying of thirst, I'm dying of thirst"
Some people also say: kettle is a daily necessity, even if you are not thirsty now, it does not mean that you are not thirsty when you go to school, not to mention, drinking more water is also good for the body
Another netizen shared an experience from her childhood
Since I was a child, my health has not been very good, and my parents have been working outside all the year round
She remembers waking up every morning before dawn, worrying that she would be late, and that she would not have time to cook, and that she would always go to school hungry
Every time at noon and in the afternoon, my stomach was rumbling with hunger, especially after school, I had to take ten steps and two breaks on the road, and I was so hungry that I panicked, so I ran directly to the river to drink water with my hands
Drinking water can satisfy hunger, and it is also from that time that subconscious habits have been formed
Later, when I grew up, although I never starved again, I always had a water cup in my bag, and even after becoming a mother, this habit did not change
This is the typical "people who have been drenched in the rain will get used to holding umbrellas for others"
The same is true for picking up and dropping off children to and from school, and the hardships they have endured will not let their children suffer again
My relatives have a daughter who is in her first year of high school, and she is delivered by car every day
Some people also persuaded: "The children are so old, there is no need to pick them up again"
But the relatives insisted:
"Let's not talk about the safety of children getting up early and going to school at night, just the pressure of learning and the tight time can overwhelm them, and the time saved by the car can be used to rest for a while, just like when we were children, we went to school over the mountains and mountains to study, and when we got home, it was at night, and there was no energy and environment to read good books at all"
Indeed, compared with the previous free-range carelessness and carelessness, parenting now pays more attention to the construction of the family environment
And the main reason why parents are so aware now is that these parents are the previous batch of free-range children
They understand what they need most in their childhood, and they also know what kind of learning environment they desire, so that when they grow up to become parents, they will subconsciously make up for their current children according to their previous shortcomings
Therefore, raising children, to a certain extent, is also "raising" oneself when he was a child
The hardships that I suffered when I was a child will not let my child eat it again, and what I longed to have when I was a child will now try to make up for it on my child...
03
Chong-hsien
What others have, their own children cannot be missing
Children are the hope of the family, compared to the past when there were many children and daughters, and now children are the pearls in the palm of their hands
Scarcity is precious, and everyone is naturally more concerned about children who are only children
In kindergartens, parents line up early every day, hoping to compete for first, second, or third
Is this a hurry to pick up the child home? Not
Because standing in the front row is not the number that can be ranked, but reflects our attitude of valuing children
When my eldest daughter was in kindergarten, she wanted to be the first to go to school every morning, and on the way to school, she often coquettishly said, "Mom, can you line up early and be the first to pick me up"
At first, I was a little hesitant, worried that the gaffe would disappoint my daughter, so I explained to her: "Mom try her best, okay, because there are a few grandparents in the class, they always line up half an hour in advance, and my mother still has her sister, so I can't compete with them at all."
The eldest daughter walked into the school a little low, but she couldn't help but look back and remind, "Come and pick me up early in the afternoon"
It wasn't until later, when the eldest daughter was in elementary school and the younger daughter was in kindergarten, that I was the first in the queue for both children
When they saw me standing in the first row, they all jumped a few times excitedly, and it was clear that the children wanted to be the first to be taken home by their parents
This is not a comparison, but the longing to see the parents of the heart, and the parents can be the first to receive the child as they wish, which is precisely to express our attention and miss to the child
It's the same with children picking up and dropping off every day after school
Whether it is kindergarten, elementary school, junior high school, or high school, if there are children in the school who are picked up by their parents, then other children will also desire such treatment when they see it
Therefore, what we parents can do is to appear in front of our children when they need them, and retreat behind them to protect them when they don't need them
As long as children can feel the love of their parents in their hearts, they are optimistic and cheerful, and they are full of expectations and beauty for the future, then this is the best nutrition for growth
04
accompany
Growing up quickly, he leaves home as soon as he doesn't pay attention to his children
Parents and children are a separation in themselves
From kindergarten onwards, children no longer spend all day around their parents, and they spend more and more time with their parents
It's like going home every day in kindergarten and elementary school, once a week in junior high school, and once a month in high school...
My grandmother's niece has a son and a daughter, the eldest daughter graduated from high school last year, and the younger son is in his second year of high school this year
Since the birth of her two children, she has done everything herself, and the same is true when the two children go to school, picking up the eldest daughter and then picking up the younger son
This habit continues to this day, after the eldest daughter graduated and the younger son went to high school, she got a job selling fruit
Every night after work, I go home to cook, and then squat down to pick up my son home for dinner
Her son felt sorry for her, so he proposed, "I can ride my bicycle home"
But where is the mother willing to be, she responded directly: "Silly son, you are now in the second year of high school, and you will be in the third year of high school in the second half of the year, and there is not much left for your mother to pick you up from school, and then look at the parents who send food and drink to school, their children live in the school, basically go home once a month, and my mother is still lucky, at least she can cook a meal for you to eat every day..."
Hearing this, I burst into tears, and then looked at the two daughters around me, and seemed to understand the meaning of "pick-up": in addition to putting safety in the first place, picking up and dropping off children is also a kind of companionship
Speaking of which, my mind returned to a childhood memory
At that time, there was a new female student in the class who was dressed up beautifully every day, and she was also very popular with the teachers at school
The most important thing is that she has a father who picks her up every day on a bicycle, and she can see the figure waiting early at the school gate every day after school
Every time they saw that scene, the classmates showed envious expressions, and everyone also called them: "The king has come to take the princess home"
When talking about his father, many classmates said in unison: "Impossible, my dad, it's good not to scold me"
As a result, the children who grew up under envy and jealousy grew up with a deep inferiority complex, and their feelings with their parents were usually far away
Some of the old classmates in the past even said with lingering palpitations: "As long as I stay with my parents, my whole body is uncomfortable", but the female classmate who was picked up by her father on a motorcycle, the circle of friends is a footprint of happiness with her parents
Therefore, a good parent-child relationship starts from an early age, and if you can pick up and drop off your child, try to accompany your child for a ride
This is an opportunity for us to develop a relationship with our children, and it is also the most direct way for children to feel valued
So, what are the different suggestions and opinions on the reasons why children are still being picked up and dropped off in high school now? Welcome to leave a message in the comment area to share!