The relationship between the son-in-law and the father-in-law and mother-in-law is always a little delicate and distant. I once heard people say that a son-in-law is like a guest, and he often lives in a foreign home, but his heart is difficult to fully melt. Although this statement is a bit biased, it is not without reason. Now that I have become what others call my "son-in-law", I feel more and more complex and subtle between these role changes.
My wife and I met when we were just ordinary colleagues. As the years passed, the emotions deepened, and we entered the palace of marriage hand in hand. The life after marriage is picturesque, full of sweetness and warmth. However, as I came into contact with my parents-in-law's house, I found myself in a somewhat awkward position.
I often feel out of the way of my father-in-law and mother-in-law's house. It's not that I don't want to care, but I don't know where to start. I never volunteered to join their family group, as if it was an area that I couldn't reach. To the people in my father-in-law's and mother-in-law's family, I am also lukewarm and keep a certain distance. It's not that I'm deliberately distant, but I know that as a son-in-law, my involvement too much may lead to unnecessary conflicts and disputes.
The wife is the only child in the family, and she has a deep affection for the family and often maintains close contact with her parents. I, on the other hand, became the "bystander". Whenever my wife was on the phone with her family, I always sat silently and listened to them talk about trivial matters, but there was something wrong in my heart. I knew that I could not fully integrate into the family, nor could I replace my wife's place in the family's heart.
However, I have always been passionate and responsible for my own family. Whenever something happens at home, I am always the first to stand up and do my best to help my parents solve the problem. This contrast often makes me feel confused and helpless. Why is it that I always find it difficult to find that sense of belonging and responsibility at my parents-in-law's house?
Perhaps, it has something to do with our traditional beliefs. In traditional Chinese culture, a son-in-law is regarded as a person with a foreign surname and always maintains a certain distance from his father-in-law's family. This distance is both a form of respect and a form of self-protection. We know that in the house of our father-in-law and mother-in-law, we can never be a real "family". As a result, we have learned to keep our distance and avoid too much involvement and interference.
However, this sense of distance also brings a lot of regret and helplessness. We missed out on a lot of quality time with our families, and we missed out on many opportunities to communicate and mingle with our families. We are always busy in our own world, but we neglect the emotional connection with our families. This sense of loneliness and alienation makes us enjoy the warmth of our family at the same time, but also bear huge psychological pressure.
In fact, as sons-in-law, we don't really want to stay out of it. We also aspire to build a deep emotional connection with our parents-in-law and share the joys and sorrows of the family. However, the reality of the situation is a discouragement for us. We are afraid that too much participation will lead to unnecessary conflicts and disputes, and we are also afraid that our words and deeds will hurt the feelings of our family members. Therefore, we chose to keep our distance and silently watch the lives of our families.
However, this sense of distance is not immutable. As long as we communicate, understand, and tolerate each other with our hearts, we will be able to break this estrangement and alienation. We can try to take the initiative to join the family group of our father-in-law and mother-in-law's family and share our life and insights with them; We can interact more with the people of our parents-in-law's family to enhance mutual understanding and trust. We can also go home more often during the holidays and spend quality time with our families. As long as we do these small things with our hearts, we will definitely be able to make the family relationship more harmonious and harmonious.
In this era of change and challenges, let us face all kinds of problems in family relationships with a more open and inclusive mind. Let us understand, care and support each other with our hearts, and work together to create a warm and harmonious family atmosphere.