What is the biggest fear of being a parent? It's not that you have no children, it's not that you don't have a wife, it's that you don't have money.
Although money is not everything, it is impossible to do without money.
As parents, you must not give all the money to your children, and remember to leave yourself some way out.
Parents are selfless and must be responsive to their children's requests.
Some parents take out all their savings in order to give their children a good life, but the reality slaps them in the face.
Parents spend all the money to send their children to good schools, receive good education, and eventually give their children a good family.
They always think that their children will be promising, and they will be able to follow them when they are old in the future, but the result is unexpected.
The children do not want to live with the elderly, feeling that they are a drag on them.
The end result is that the parents are miserable in their old age and have a grudge against their children.
Grandpa Sun in the village had three sons, and his wife died of a heart attack, leaving him to live alone.
When my wife was alive, my three sons came to visit the old man at home, but after my wife left, none of my sons came.
It turned out that Grandpa Sun's wife used to be a doctor, worked in the hospital, and after retirement, she could receive a pension of 7,000 yuan every month.
The two old people who have lived in the village for many years basically do not have much expenses, and about 2,000 per month is enough.
Grandpa Sun saved the rest of the money, thinking that he would use it again when he was sick, but his wife felt sorry for his son, and every time his son came, he gave his son a cent of the money.
Once the eldest son's family came, they only brought some fruit, but Grandpa Sun and his grandfather put together a table of good wine and food.
After eating and drinking, the eldest daughter-in-law told her mother-in-law that the winter vacation was coming, and your grandson wanted to sign up for the winter camp organized by the school.
Mother-in-law asked, how much does it cost?
The eldest daughter-in-law said that she would have to get seven or eight thousand.
Although the mother-in-law felt sorry for the money, she was reluctant to let her eldest grandson be wronged, so she gave the money to her daughter-in-law without telling her grandfather.
This incident was later known to Grandpa Sun, and he advised his wife not to always give money to his son, and what should we do when we need money in the future.
My wife disagreed, she felt that if she helped her son now and used the money in the future, her son would definitely help her.
Because the wife gave money to her son without moderation, the sons thought that their parents had a lot of savings.
They always thought that if they didn't ask their parents, their parents would give money to the other two brothers, so the three sons often asked their parents for money.
However, the world is unpredictable, and my wife suddenly had a heart attack, and because the rescue was not timely, she finally passed away.
Now, his wife has passed away, and Grandpa Sun's monthly pension is only more than 1,000 yuan.
Because Grandpa Sun is old, he often needs to take medicine, and his monthly pension is not enough.
When my wife just died, the sons came to see the old father every once in a while, but after coming a few times, the father didn't give them any money, and he simply didn't come.
Because Grandpa Sun had no savings in his hands, the three sons looked at their empty-handed father and felt that he was still a drag, so they all hid far away, for fear of providing for their father's old age.
Grandpa Sun, who has no savings, is particularly miserable in his old age, he always cries with the portrait of his wife, he asked you to keep some money, but you didn't keep it, and now I am left alone to suffer here.
After seeing what happened to Grandpa Sun, I believe many people will condemn his son for being unfilial, but this is the truest portrayal of human nature.
There are too many selfless parents in this world, and although they have a difficult life, they still try their best to create a good life for their children.
Some parents have saved tens of thousands of yuan in their lives, and when they see that their children are doing a little badly, they want to share their money with them, so that their lives will no longer worry about money.
Parents always devote themselves to being good to their children, and they feel that as long as they are good to their children, they will not be able to take care of themselves in their later years, so that they can be treated well by their children.
But there are too many epitomes of Grandpa Sun in life, and these vivid examples of them also tell parents that they can't give their savings to their children in advance, even if their children ask you, you can't give them.
The reason why parents are advised to keep their savings in prison is because people's hearts are too complicated.
The old man has a deposit in his hand, and this money may become your life-saving money in the future.
If you are not optimistic about it, the future fate can only be in the hands of your children, and the wise old people will not pin their hopes on their children.
There are many examples around me that tell parents that sometimes the better parents treat their children, the less their children know how to be grateful to their parents, and they still take this kind of treatment for granted.
Once a child has this kind of thought, the old age of the parents will generally be miserable.
Some parents have savings and understand the reason for not giving money to their children, but they do not know how to refuse their children's demands.
If you don't know how to refuse to give money to your children, look at this mother's approach.
Grandma Zhou has a son and a daughter, and her wife has passed away a long time ago, so she raised her children alone.
In the eyes of the neighbors, Aunt Zhou's old age was very happy, and she always praised her for being blessed and her children were filial.
Every time she heard this, Grandma Zhou shook her head with a smile and said:
"Where is the filial piety of children, it is clearly that they are worried about my little treasure."
Grandma Zhou did not retire, she was a middle school teacher in the town before, and the teacher's salary was not bad at that time, with more than 2,000 yuan per month.
Grandma Zhou is careful and spends money, and most of her salary is saved by her.
When the children got married, Grandma Zhou gave them 300,000 yuan per person, so that they were not allowed to take money from themselves after marriage.
You know, in 2008, 300,000 was not a small amount.
Later, Grandma Zhou retired, and she opened a tutoring institution because she was not satisfied with her old age. Because of her rich teaching experience, there are many make-up students who come to visit, and Grandma Zhou's make-up class business is particularly good.
Grandma Zhou relied on the income from the make-up class to save another 500,000 yuan.
This year's 76-year-old grandmother Zhou's health is not very good, and her eyes are very old, so she can't go to class anymore, so she closed the make-up class and decided to enjoy Qingfu.
Not long ago, Grandma Zhou called her children and told them that she had hundreds of thousands of savings in her hands, but I would not give you this money for a day.
When I am a hundred years old, I will not be able to take this money with me, and when the time comes, I will give this money to you, but if you are not filial to me, don't think about getting a penny from me.
As children, they naturally hope to inherit their mother's inheritance, so in the following days, both children are very filial.
Regardless of whether they are from the heart or not, Grandma Zhou has a happy old age.
When people reach old age, the quality of life and happiness are often closely related to how to properly arrange their money.
Older people should have their own ideas and plans when it comes to money, and should not unreservedly divide all their property among their children.
Children should learn to live independently, respect the property rights of the elderly, and not rely on gnawing on the elderly to support themselves.
Older people need to understand that it is not that they do not distrust their children, but that they should be wary of human greed.
When children need help, they can be given appropriately, but not unprincipledly.
When their children are stable and no longer need financial support, older people should keep their money in case they need it.
This will not only ensure your own quality of life, but also allow your children to take care of the inheritance in the event of their own death, reducing disputes.
Older people should learn to be moderately selfish when it comes to money, and the fruits of their labor should be kept for their own enjoyment.
Supplementing children is certainly caring, but over-giving may cause children to lose their ability to face the pressures of life independently.
Older people can lend a helping hand when their children really need help, but they also need to let their children take their due responsibility.
It is important to understand that the flow of money is not a one-way street, and there should be limits to what the elderly can give to their children.
Write at the end
As a parent, in the face of children asking for money from them, you must treat it rationally, you can't say that you don't give anything, and you can't say that you give everything.
Remember that when your children and yourself ask for money, you must not give them both.
1. Don't give your children money for pleasure
In today's society, many parents want to provide their children with the best possible living conditions, including meeting their material needs.
However, spoiling children excessively, especially by providing large amounts of money for their enjoyment, can have many negative consequences.
First, providing money for their children's pleasures can make them lose their independence. If children are accustomed to being dependent on their parents' money, they may become lazy, unmotivated, and always want to be dependent on their parents.
Secondly, giving children too much money may cause them to develop incorrect values. They may think that their parents should give them money, which will make their children not know how to cherish the fruits of their parents' labor and not be grateful for their parents' contributions.
As parents, we can provide them with the necessary living conditions, but we should not allow them to overdo the financial support given by their parents.
In short, don't give your children money for pleasure, but teach them to be self-sufficient and not worry about their parents' savings.
2. Don't pay off your children's debts
Nowadays, young people are under a lot of pressure and often spend ahead of time, resulting in a lot of money owed, and sometimes they can't afford it, so they ask their parents for money.
If parents easily give their children money to pay off their debts, they will make their children have no sense of consumption and will continue to spend money indiscriminately in the future.
As parents, you should let your children know how to spend their money wisely, instead of blindly pursuing material comforts.
Through our interactions with our children, we can help them understand the family's financial situation and understand that consumption must be based on reasonable needs.
At the same time, we can also guide children to participate in public welfare activities, so that they can learn to be grateful and give back to the society, and cultivate their sense of social responsibility.
In this way, our children can become people who have both a sense of responsibility and know how to cherish, and can gain a foothold in the future society.
As a parent, don't keep your savings, don't give them as soon as your children ask for them, that will only be an enemy.