Even after I got divorced, I still think about him a lot before I go to bed
Everyone, I'm Xiaoqing, 47 years old this year, and I just divorced my husband last month. To be honest, even though I mentioned the divorce, even now, I often think of him before I go to bed.
Sometimes, in the dead of night, a lot of the past comes to mind. The sweetness of the newlywed, the coldness after a few years of marriage, and the final break caused by many contradictions. Thinking about it, what made me completely dead to this marriage? And what keeps me from letting go of that expectation?
Today, let's analyze and analyze together, and think of my ex-husband's mood before going to bed, whether it is unwillingness or love.
First, it is unwilling to be the original intention
My ex-husband and I got married in the 90s of the last century, when we were both young and had beautiful visions of marriage, family and love. He was a hard-working and motivated man, and I was also quite a virtuous woman.
After we got married, we respected each other like guests, he went out to work hard in his career, and I took care of the housework at home. We had the best years of our lives. But just after I was pregnant with my first child, his company went bankrupt, and overnight we were in a lot of trouble.
Since then, he has become lazy and escapist, and I have to go to work and take care of the household during the day. The fond memories of those original intentions made me even more unwilling to this marriage, which is why I finally filed for divorce.
Second, it is the expectation of love
Although we had all kinds of problems after we got married, I still had a glimmer of hope for this relationship. After all, we used to be so affectionate, and he loved me deeply with his actions.
I remember one winter when it was so cold that he got up in the middle of the night and found that the heating was broken, so he went down to fix it without saying a word. The next day he had a cold and fever, and I was so distressed. Another time my mother was hospitalized, and he quit his job to accompany my mother without saying a word.
These little bits of warmth are the reason why I have expectations for this relationship. I hope that he will prove his love for me again, so I will think back to the good past again and again before going to bed.
The third is the attachment to the family
Marriage is like a small kingdom created by two people, with laughter, tears, and unforgettable memories. Especially after having children, that protection and responsibility are even more difficult to let go.
Whenever I think of my former home, that cozy little nest; I think of how happy I was when I was a mother; When I think of the innocent and lovely appearance of the two children, I will unconsciously feel nostalgic, resulting in the fact that I often miss that "home" in the dead of night.
But the reality is that that "home" no longer exists. Divorce does bring trauma, but I understand that nostalgia is useless, and what I need to do now is to take care of myself and start a new life.
For many women, divorce is indeed a traumatic one, and whatever the reason makes your decision, it is inevitable that you will miss the past in the dead of night. Some are unwilling to be beautiful at the beginning, some are attached to the warmth of the relationship, and some are reluctant to give up the nostalgia for the family.
But that's okay, face up to your inner feelings and give yourself time to come out well. Because you deserve a better life, you deserve to be treated gently. When you let go of the past and look forward to a new future, you will find that happiness is not far away from you.