Text: Marriage counselor Liu Jie
In marriage, there are always some women who are busy with housework, taking care of children, supporting their husbands' work, and paying for this family without regrets.
But many times, men don't care much about what they give.
Maybe it's because men feel that these are what women should do; Maybe it's because men don't notice how cumbersome these things are at home.
This kind of neglect may not be intentional, but it does make people feel uncomfortable.
After all, marriage is a matter of two people, and if a man can really know how to cherish it, then the marriage will be happier and happier.
Today, we are going to talk about those women who give a lot in their marriage, but are never distressed by men. Their stories may give us a deeper understanding of marriage.
01
Mrs. Almighty
This kind of woman, they play multiple roles in marriage, they are good wives, good mothers, or "big stewards" in the family.
From taking care of the children to taking care of the housework, from supporting the husband's career, to dealing with family chores, they seem to be omnipotent, always silently behind the scenes, supporting the whole family.
However, it is this "omnipotence" that often makes them easier to ignore.
Sister Zhang is such an "all-round wife".
She wakes up early every day to prepare breakfast, takes her children to school, and then rushes to work. After work, she also has to pick up the children, buy groceries, cook, do laundry, and clean up......
And her husband only needs to do his job well, and he almost doesn't care about housework.
Sister Zhang's dedication became a matter of course, and her husband rarely even said a word of thanks to her.
Lenin once said: "Whoever does not rest, does not work." ”
In marriage, the "all-round wife" often forgets that she also needs rest and care.
Although it is not easy for them to give, in the long run, they will lose their balance in the marriage, and even cause psychological and physical problems.
02
Forbearance wife
This kind of woman, in marriage, always chooses forbearance.
In the face of their husbands' neglect, indifference, and even change of heart, they often choose to forgive and tolerate.
They believe that for the sake of family harmony, they can bear everything or sacrifice everything.
However, this kind of forbearance is often exchanged for not her husband's understanding and gratitude, but more neglect and hurt.
Sister Li is a forbearant wife, her husband often returns late, and sometimes even does not return at night.
She knew that her husband might have another woman outside, but for the sake of her children and family, she chose to forbear.
However, her husband did not take the initiative to return to the family because of her tolerance, but hurt her even more.
But forbearance is not the same as unconditional concession, when forbearance becomes a habit, the status of women in marriage will gradually decrease, and eventually be regarded as dispensable by men.
03
Giving companion
This kind of woman, they always give unreservedly in marriage.
For the sake of their children and husbands, they can give up their careers, their friends, and even their own interests and dreams.
They feel that as long as their husbands and children are doing well, it is worth it no matter how much they pay.
However, this kind of selfless dedication often makes men take it for granted and even become insensitive.
Sister Wang is like this, she was a good dancer when she was young, but for the sake of her family and her husband's career, she gave up the stage and became a full-time wife.
Years later, her husband has a successful career and the children have grown up, but she finds that she has become disconnected from society and has fewer and fewer topics to talk about with her husband.
What's even more sad is that her husband didn't realize her dedication and sacrifice, and his dislike for her became more and more obvious.
Giving is never the same as sacrificing oneself, and when women lose themselves in marriage, their efforts become worthless.
So, no matter how much you give in marriage, you have to have your own life and your own world.
The three types of women mentioned above give a lot in marriage, but their efforts are often ignored by men.
As Leo Tolstoy said, "Happy families are all alike, and unhappy families are unhappy in their own way." ”
Therefore, if you want to manage your marriage well, it is not enough to pay. You also need to keep yourself, you also need to express your needs correctly, and you also need to guide your husband to pay for you.
Such a relationship between husband and wife is balanced, and such a marriage will be long and happy.