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In the relationship between men and women, the truth of human nature revealed: true love often feels indebted, and unloving often feels lost!
Maybe many people don't know such a heart-piercing fact, and even once thought that as long as they are "together", they are satisfied and happy!
In fact, the relationship between men and women has always been an extremely complex revelation of human nature!
The love between men and women, although it is likened to the blooming fireworks and the companionship of the long stream! But underneath this reality of human nature, there is a truth of human nature that you must see:
When a person can truly love another person, he often feels an inexplicable debt;
When a person no longer loves another person, they often feel that they have suffered a loss.
Behind this cruel phenomenon, the hidden psychological mechanism is all the confrontation between good and evil in human nature!
The more you love someone, the more you will feel indebted
When two people fall in love, they usually don't really think about being responded to when they give, they just feel that "I love you, I am willing to give you, and I am very satisfied if you ask for what I give".
However, this does not mean that true love is not in its place! It's just that in the world of true love, people's intentions are hidden and not easy to be detected by themselves!
For example, the other party has brought solid emotional support to them, given them meticulous care in life, and even made great sacrifices to meet some of their needs......
In fact, these gains are the phenomenon of "gratitude" being stimulated in people's implicit pictures!
When gratitude is stimulated, people will unconsciously think that their efforts will always match what the other person gives.
In fact, this state originates from the individual's deep inner experience of the "principle of reciprocity".
Namely:
Everyone wants to be rewarded for their efforts.
It's just that in the world of true love, this principle of reciprocity will often be broken, and the hidden intentions will be perfectly ignored by oneself, and I just feel that it is not enough!
In fact, this kind of psychology of "feeling that I don't give enough" is not really indebted to the emotional object, but just a kind of "sweet" self-burden!
Under this kind of burden, people will only cherish each other more because they meet people who go both ways!
Therefore, I advise all those who are married and in love:
When the person in front of you gives your best for you, you must learn to respond reasonably! Don't let the other party finally find out that they are not loved, psychological imbalance produces the idea of stopping giving, and it is too late to regret it!
People who really love you will indeed worry that they will not give you enough and give you what they think is the best, but it does not mean that such people will not be painful, sad, and will not see the use and consumption of the relationship on themselves!
Because I don't love someone enough or don't love someone at all, I often feel that I am at a loss
This is true of any kind of relationship, the more accustomed to caring about the gains and losses of people who don't care!
When a person loses interest in another person, they will focus on their own gains and losses, and thus ignore the feelings and needs of the other person!
This mentality reflects the selfishness of individuals because they don't love, and it also reflects that no matter how good a person is, she/she doesn't love you, it will also make you see the ugliness of "not loving"!
It's just that the relationship between men and women is never a realistic transaction, but a relationship based on the emotional component and the premise of the exchange of realistic values!
So, you can't just define a relationship in terms of giving and returning!
Love is more altruistic and less self-interested, so I always feel that I don't give enough and have a sense of indebtedness. If you don't love it, you can be calculating and calculating!
The right love is a precious treasure, and the love that is given in one direction is a companion of misfortune!
People who no longer love each other, whether from the emotional component of the past or from the actual time, energy and even money, feel that they are at a loss! Because, in the eyes of the heart, the person who is worthy of the person in front of him is "not worth it"!
It is worth mentioning that:
Many times people's dislove is often due to emotional obstacles caused by poor communication between two people!
If two people can communicate well, have gratitude, and enjoy love instead of treating love as a burden, then two people will get along with each other in a state of "afraid of not giving enough" in both directions!
Therefore, whether a person loves you or not depends on whether this person is stingy with pay, and who you love depends on who you are willing to do your best for and ask for less in return!
Love is the purgatory of people in the world. Whether it's love or friendship, the right time and the right person can achieve positive results!
I am an author in the field of high-quality emotion, a professional counselor, and have provided valuable and meaningful help to many counselors. I have rich experience in marriage, relationships, interpersonal relationships, etc., if you have any emotional confusion, please feel free to consult me.
Topic discussion: Have you met the person who is going both ways with you? Let's talk about it in the comment section.