I only buy one or two clothes a year, and I don't want to reach out to my husband for money, but before I became a full-time mother, my husband said that he would support the whole family......
"I should have preserved my only self-esteem." A stay-at-home mom said so.
Before this stay-at-home mother was interviewed and brutally revealed her scars, the editor never thought that the pressure of a stay-at-home mother was no less than that of an office worker.
At the beginning of the interview, Da Xuan's mother from Beijing showed some uncomfortable appearance, and the people who watched it were a little sad.
Maybe she has been "out of touch with society for too long", and that's it, the interviewer patiently accosted her, and then gradually started the topic.
The host asked Da Xuan's mother: Why did you choose to leave your job to be a full-time wife?
Da Xuan's mother reluctantly told the reason: This is what my husband and I discussed, there is no way, I have a child, no one will watch it, and I can only choose to leave my job by myself.
Da Xuan's mother herself is also very clear-headed, and repeatedly confirmed with her husband: Have you really thought about it?
Because in that case, the financial pressure on the husband will be particularly great, because there are also children's expenses, and the family's expenses are huge.
At that time, my husband's answer was also very happy: You can put these things in your stomach, don't worry.
With her husband's words, Da Xuan's mother also settled down and prepared to be a full-time mother and a full-time wife.
But are things really as simple as her husband promised? After really becoming a full-time wife, Da Xuan's mother can experience all kinds of tastes.
Da Xuan's mother said that she was actually very uncomfortable as a full-time wife, and she always felt very uncomfortable reaching out to someone to ask for money.
Think about it, from a woman with free wealth to a sudden loss of financial resources and social interaction, such a life is always uncomfortable.
The economic source was directly cut in half, and there was no way, and the quality of life of Da Xuan's mother directly declined seriously.
Da Xuan's mother said that when she could make money before, she wouldn't think about it so much, and she would buy it if she liked it, but now it would be good to buy one or two pieces a year.
She also said sadly that even these two clothes have to be carefully compared with various platforms to see which one is cheaper.
Sometimes it looks like you may end up not buying it, thinking that the clothes are too expensive and you don't have any money.
Although Da Xuan's mother said it with a smile, the audience was silent.
Think about Da Xuan's mother, she is also an independent woman, and she is not a full-time housekeeper at home to take care of children, she also wants to create her own value, manage finances, shoot short videos, etc.
But despite this, even a takeaway and a cup of milk tea have to be considered twice, and you have to use the spare money you have taken care of to order it once.
Despite this, Da Xuan's mother still felt that she couldn't raise her head and felt uncomfortable, so she tried not to use her husband's money, so she could only reduce her expenses to "reserve" her only self-esteem.
Some netizens popped out their own experiences, like Da Xuan's mother, she didn't go to work and worked as a full-time wife at home, but because of the shortage of money in her hand, she didn't even dare to go to the hospital if her front teeth fell out. And because of the child's poor results in the college entrance examination, he will also blame himself, feel that accompanying the student does not work, and even often blame himself until he wakes up at night, feeling sorry for the child and the family.
Another netizen said that he was working full-time at home and had been spending his own savings, because he couldn't open his mouth to ask for money with his husband.
But some netizens "don't understand" the ideas and living methods of these full-time mothers, saying that they are also full-time mothers, but their husbands are responsible for paying all kinds of insurance and living expenses, because taking care of the family and children is also a job, and spending money is a matter of course.
There are even netizens who are "angry", saying that in order to "maintain dignity", Da Xuan's mother reduced shopping and lived such a humble life, is she tired? Why do you feel that spending your husband's money hurts your self-esteem? Is it subconsciously not recognizing the value of stay-at-home motherhood?
Some netizens were upset about Da Xuan's mother, saying that her husband obviously didn't love her and didn't give her enough respect, which caused her to live so inferiorly and depressed.
Some people also came up with the idea that if a woman wants to be a full-time mother at home, she must ask her husband to hand over all her wealth, at least the salary card must be handed over to the woman to take care of, otherwise there is no need to talk about it.
There are various opinions in the comment area, but most netizens still feel very sad about the experience of this full-time mother, saying that they hope her husband can see this video, support her, and let her stop being so inferior.
But is it really that simple?
Once, there was such a topic, which aroused heated discussions among many netizens on the Internet: If your wife doesn't go to work for a long time, will you dislike your wife?
thought that the most important thing between husband and wife was respect, and thought that there would be many "good husbands" in the comment area who would leave messages saying "not disgusted", but I never expected that their real thoughts were really surprising.
A male netizen in the comment area said that his wife has not gone to work for 12 years, and she stays at home every day, so that she doesn't go to the test, which is annoying to listen to, if it weren't for the child, she would have wanted to say goodbye a long time ago.
Unexpectedly, this dislike is not only on the husband, but even the children can't help but dislike it: I really dislike my mother, why don't I make money, the food is still unpalatable, and I don't buy expensive clothes, I really envy other people's parents.
There are also bystanders who can see the dislike of the other party's husband with the naked eye: he is obviously a man with a good temper, but he can complain about the shortcomings of his wife at home, don't think that he doesn't dislike it, just don't say it.
Is it really shameful to be a stay-at-home mom? Actually, this is not the case, in other people's perspectives, at home = rest = doing nothing, but is this really the case?
If you don't do anything, why can your husband and children eat a hot meal when they come home? Are all the housework done by robots?
The pressure of a stay-at-home mom starts with beating your dignity.
Many stay-at-home wives have deviated their cognition, feeling that their income is all dependent on others, and they have no dignity and no value, and they have been denying themselves since the beginning of their self-awareness.
That's why some netizens are angry for Da Xuan's mother: dignity is given by herself, why can't she recognize her value as a full-time mother?
There are also full-time mothers who share their experience lightly: Human nature is like this, it is not a matter of full-time or not full-time, as long as you reach out and ask for money, no matter who you are, you will not be happy. You still have to stand on your own, otherwise it will be painful.
In fact, the source of pressure for stay-at-home mothers is basically themselves and the people around them, so it is better to think about it differently, and their work at home is also a kind of work: housework, taking care of children, and having in-laws have to serve their in-laws, which thing is simple?
Husband's income, that is, your income, don't feel embarrassed, the hard work of a full-time housewife, unless the person concerned, it is difficult for others to understand.
If you like to think cranky in your free time, you can cultivate a hobby of yourself, such as flower arrangement, painting, sports, etc., which is also a way to dispel.
In the world, pressure is inevitable, but you must be confident and do not deny the value of your existence.
Existence is reasonable, don't be anxious, every mother is the greatest character.
What are your thoughts on stay-at-home wives and housewives? Welcome to leave a message in the comment area to discuss.
Source: "Ryoko Interview"