I've had a problem since I was a child, I have to listen to sounds to fall asleep. As a child, it was the radio. Now Toutiao has become my new chatterbox. Click on the voice, and then push, close your eyes and recuperate, groggy, listen and listen.
But that day, somehow, the novel I used to listen to suddenly fell silent. Hey, what's going on? I didn't bother to care, and the horizontal headlines would broadcast other online articles to me, and soon, another online article broke into my ears. Oops, listening to this little essay, I can't sleep, Auntie, and after I get up, I want to write one angrily!
Why can't you sleep?
Because this little essay reminds me of a lot of past events, a lot of past stories about girls.
The person who wrote this little essay is probably about my age, a mother in her fifties and sixties.
This retired at home, seems to be living alone, divorced or widowed? It's confusing. Anyway, she lives alone in an apartment in the city, lonely and bored all day long.
She was always thinking about when her daughter would come back from Beijing, and if she did, I would have a lot to say to her......
Sure enough, during the May Day period, her daughter returned as promised. In the past few days, mother and daughter have been getting along together, and various experiences have made my mother angry and aggrieved, and there are many small knots in my heart, why? Because the days of these days have been uneven and uncomfortable, like the surface of the moon, stumbling and potholes.
So after the holiday, the daughter left, and the aggrieved mother came idlely, so she began to write a small essay and post it on the Internet to express the blockade in her chest. complained about my daughter, but her complaint made me feel distressed. It's not this mother that I feel sorry for, but this big girl who came back to accompany her mother for the holidays.
This mother has a bit of a literary temperament, what do you say? Slender and sensitive, with a lot of twists and turns in his head. When she saw her daughter, she was very happy and made a big table of dishes, but her daughter didn't like to eat it. The mother felt a little discouraged, and the next day she asked her daughter what she was eating, and her daughter thought about it for a long time and told her one, so she did it happily again, but what about her daughter? The appetite is still not good, on the third and fourth days......
So in the end, the mother said let's go out to eat, what to eat? The daughter said you can eat whatever you like, and the mother said, "Then you have to eat what you like too." The daughter said, then you can just order it. Mom said, "Is it okay for me to order this?"
The matter of eating was made like philosophical reasoning by the mother and daughter, which was rigorous and obscure. Balabala, the two of them negotiated for a long time.
The end result is to go to a restaurant to eat. The problem is that when I got to the restaurant, my daughter didn't eat much, which disappointed the mother. Mom wants to see a lively little doll happily cooking in front of her. This gives her a sense of youthful vitality that has not been seen for a long time. But it's a pity that this emotional value can't be provided by my daughter. The child always seems to be uninterested, and she is very tired. Tired face.
This disappointed my mother!
A holiday made my mother complain a lot.
My daughter gets up late, my daughter orders takeout, my daughter doesn't clean up her room, my daughter is too lazy, my daughter is fat now, and my daughter has an irregular schedule in Beijing. Balabala......
Until she watched her daughter pull the suitcase away, her mother felt very awkward, like an uneven spread, hey, wrinkled and crumpled!
This kind of relationship of twisting and getting along, internal friction, makes people feel very tired!
In fact, I have seen several such mothers in the real world, of course, I don't have many relationships with them, I just have a deeper relationship with their daughters.
Once, a girl once frowned, drooped her eyes, sighed softly, and said to me with a bitter heart:
"Aunt Cat, you know what? My mom is a mountain, and I have to carry her. ”
Tell you the story of this daughter.
This girl's name is Xiaoling.
There are thousands of Xiaoling in this world, and she is one of them is a very ordinary one, this Ling graduated from a good 985 science and engineering university, so after graduation, I want to stay in Beijing to develop, after all, 985's double master's degree is still very promising here, so she successfully joined a scientific research institute under a central enterprise!
My relationship with her was due to a very fortuitous encounter.
At that time, I was in Beijing to take care of my sick mother-in-law, but I couldn't always accompany me in the hospital, so I often went to the side of the hospital, not far away, a very beautiful coffee book bar, and went there to rest, and it was there that I met Xiaoling.
Xiaoling works part-time, and every day after work, she has to work here for another two or three hours, because in the evenings, this coffee bar next to the mall is very busy. Of course, there is also a reward for doing this, which is also a point that Xiaoling values. But what Xiaoling likes the most is that the relaxed working environment here is to walk around with dishes and take care of dinner.
Between the tall bookshelves, in the aroma of coffee, walking, Ling.
A very light, very simple little girl, which makes people happy at first sight.
She has the kind of honey-colored skin, like a fine Tian Huangshi, with short thick hair that reaches her ears, and a brown knee-length skirt, which is the store uniform of this store, but it looks very appropriate to wear it on her. A small pale pink apron, a very light pink, if there is nothing, like a peony after the rain.
That's my favorite flower.
Xiaoling is a girl with a very temperament, the kind of anti-refinement and anti-pattern beauty, which is not much in today's society. Such girls generally exist in two regions, one is a small county town and the other is Beijing City. On the fourth subway line, there are many such girls, and Imen has a brilliant brain and a healthy and simple appearance.
Pu Rutian Huang, Hui Rucai Bao, like Xiaoling, from the northwest, looking at her round face and crescent-like eyes, you can feel that Yi is a northland rouge.
Those snow-white and neat teeth do not come from bleaching and plastic surgery, but are innate.
At first glance, she is a self-disciplined poor girl who never eats snacks and brushes her teeth frequently. Only they have such teeth.
She smiled beautifully, the kind of atmospheric beauty with power. If you have to describe that feeling as a flower, it is also a stretched calla lily, both long and straight.
That is, we often met and added WeChat, so we started chatting later. I was also able to break into her circle of friends, and I often liked her.
In fact, Reiko's life is similar to the life of all the North Drift girls, after a short period of excitement, it is full of pressure every day, work is very busy, there are a lot of chores, and sometimes she will often be angry.
The only thing that made her happy was to work in a friend's coffee bar, and alas, this kid actually made it fun!
But what I didn't expect was that the deep contact between the two of us actually came from a disaster encountered by Xiaoling, it was a very urgent text message, which broke into my mobile phone, and when I opened it, it was Xiaoling asking me for help, she said:
"Could you please introduce me to a place to stay temporarily tonight?" Cheaper. ”
I have received similar calls for help more than once, and many girls who work hard in big cities will encounter emergencies, and here, they have no relatives.
Once, a girl who had just worked was suddenly kicked out by the landlord, and without saying a word, she left immediately. She went to the agent to theorize, but the agent said that they couldn't help it, and the landlord's neurotic son had come back and wanted to live here. You'd better hurry up!
Of course, this is similar to natural disasters, but there are also man-made disasters.
Another time a girl suddenly covered in red spots all over her body, she took the hospital diagnosis certificate and assured others that I was not suffering from an infectious disease, but an emergency rash, although it was rare, but it was medically real.
But the landlord still blasted her out, her face was red and swollen, and she couldn't rent a room.
Hey, everything is distressing, but what Xiaoling encountered was even worse than them. We met at the agreed café, which was a working day. She looked very embarrassed, I remember it was a big summer, but she was wearing a long coat and trousers, and she was pushing a box in her hand, which had a shaft and was broken.
So after a brief conversation, we stumbled into a cab and I took her to my house in Beijing. I said to her, "You can stay here temporarily!" Don't go out to look for a room.
Because she was almost penniless, the money was used to pay for the operation. By the way, she just had an operation!
In the face of the landlord's unreasonable request, Reiko was very angry at the unreasonable request of either paying a year's rent at once or leaving immediately, but she was helpless because they rented the house without going through an intermediary.
So she timidly asked me for help.
When we arrived, in my newly renovated apartment on the edge of Haidian District, looking at the empty big box, I said to Reiko:
You can live here, I don't live in this house now, I have to live with my mother-in-law. But there is a downside here, the house has just been renovated, almost no furniture, only a simple bed and table, can you make do with it?
When Xiao Ling heard this, she nodded vigorously, her eyes were already soaked with tears.
During that time, I was very busy, my mother-in-law had just undergone cancer surgery, and the situation was not smooth, and there were other underlying diseases, so there were family members around me. And it was the beginning of the mask, even in Beijing, I didn't dare to run around, so after I threw the key to Xiaoling, I couldn't care about her, and when I went to her again, it was already two weeks later.
When Xiaoling heard that I was coming, she was very enthusiastic, and I said to her, "I need to get a yoga mat, it will be useful in two days." Reiko said, if it's inconvenient for you to send it to you, I'll send it to you.
I said, "No, no, I just have time for us to meet."
My apartment is located on the outskirts of Beijing, the house is a large studio, not divided into living room, living room, there is a single bed on the balcony, which I use as a chair to sit on temporarily, in the bedroom there is only a set of good walk-in closets and a large ebony desk. Well, nothing else!
In this space like a rough room, Xiaoling's small figure curled up beside the single bed. I've always thought she was a tall girl, why is she so weak at this time?
I brought some food, crepes, turkey, salad, and even a beer, and I thought Ling would like it, so we ate it, and she cried as we ate......
Xiaoling encountered a very bad thing, after the abortion operation, she was very uncomfortable, afraid of cold and dizzy, and often felt trembling all over. Heck, she went to the surgery alone, and I blame her for that.
"You call me, even if I can't spare time to accompany you, I can recommend you a reliable hospital." Xiao Ling shook her head and didn't say anything.
But after a long silence, she spoke again, maybe she really needed someone to talk to, confide.
This fetus is not from her boyfriend, but from a boss in their system, who is a divorced man who says he wants to date her, but is actually involved with other women. But Xiaoling also hopes to be with the boss and get some resources, after all, her current situation is very bad, and the leaders are always targeting her in this place. She desperately needs to find a strong backer.
Xiaoling did a particularly unpleasant job in the unit, she wanted to get in touch with some business, but in fact she was always doing chores, she felt that she was wasting her youth, she had been working for three years, she had made no progress in academics, and she had not sent a single paper. As her superior, a middle-aged woman is always making things difficult for her.
Xiaoling cried as she spoke, I can think of how aggrieved she was in the whirlpool of power struggles in the office, because she had a good relationship with the previous leader, so this one used her as a raft.
Oops, I've encountered this kind of thing too, and the dynasty has changed. The situation of the old ministers of the former dynasty is often very bad, and it is written like this in the history books!
I don't know if Xiaoling's approach is right? I don't know if Xiaoling's choice is worth it, after all, she is an adult, after all, the man who made her pregnant is not married.
And her relationship with that man is also indescribable, in short, if that person is willing to marry her, she can also consider it. At this time, there is no foothold in Beijing, but the problem is ......
In her words, it is too difficult to be a problem in a small town like me, I thought that I would be able to reach the top of my life after being admitted to 985 for a master's degree, but I now know that the peak is my own peak.
In the eyes of others, my peak is not even a small dirt bag, it is just the starting point of others. It's so hard to get up and down in the big city of Beijing, and I'm like a grain of sand.
Indeed, Xiaoling has paid a lot. Much more than their peers.
When she was a student, she gave it her all. When she was a worker, she paid all her efforts, and even when she was a girlfriend, she also put herself on the board, without reservation, and gave everything to dedicate everything, she was simple in the northwest, and the simplicity of a small town citizen, in this big city, ran into walls everywhere, and was bullied.
In fact, it is really difficult for people like him to struggle in Beijing, whether it is getting married or buying a house, it is a big mountain, and when she turns over, I don't know the year of the monkey, so I tentatively asked her if she can go home, after all, your hometown is also a provincial capital! With your academic background, if you go there to find opportunities, you will have opportunities, and it is not like Beijing.
Who knew that Xiao Lingzi's answer to me was: The only reason why she studied hard was to escape.
Flee from whom? Escape from that home. Escape from the mother who always oppressed and complained about her.
Xiaoling's mother is single and her life is not going well. Mom often says to her daughter like a repeater:
"I will rely on you for the rest of my life, I am just a relative like you, why are you still so ignorant."
But Xiaoling really can't be sensible!
Sometimes my mother is unhappy, and within an hour, she can send her more than 20 voice text messages, and she has to get them back. Mom doesn't understand, why some people are inconvenient to reply to voice text messages? What's inconvenient?
Xiaoling has to comfort her mother, who will be like a trouble-loving child, often at a loss and seeking support.
Sometimes it's because my mom is out of love. Sometimes Mom is upset again. Sometimes, even my mother would have a whim and take the train all the way to Beijing. came to her rental house to clean up wildly, and then questioned her:
"Why did you make your house a kennel? I threw all those things on the balcony for you. ”
Xiaoling could only spread her hands and said helplessly: "This is a shared house." But as soon as the words fell, a girl ran angrily and quarreled with Xiaoling's mother. Because the things that my mother threw were the girl's.
Xiaoling's mother asked Xiaoling to get married quickly:
"Who is like you to drag on so late, you don't go on a blind date when you are young, and no one wants it when you are old."
But in this regard, Xiaoling replied coldly in her heart, saying, "Hmph, you think that someone wants me when I am young." With a mouthful of shoulders and no resources, which blind date man would like to see me? ”
Xiaoling's mother always complained about her:
"Why don't you cook? Why do you always eat takeout? ”
After Xiaoling heard this, she reluctantly told her:
"It's almost ten o'clock when I get home from work, how do I cook? As soon as I went into the kitchen to make a noise, my roommates didn't do it! ”
Xiaoling's mother said she was ugly, said she was fat, said she looked stupid, said she had a dirty hairstyle, anyway, her mother was a person who was very good at giving opinions, and her mother had 100,000 opinions in her stomach, and these opinions were summarized into one:
Why can't you be better?
Her mother even took out Wendi Deng's story to inspire her daughter. In this regard, Xiaoling said with a wry smile: Do you say that people like my mother are people who live in real society?
Therefore, Xiaoling could only helplessly and exhaustively say to her mother: I did my best.
Xiaoling's mother used to be an employee of a small unit, but later returned home 20 years ago because of poor efficiency. After that, he never entered the society again. She couldn't imagine Xiaoling's Beijing world. Can't understand Xiao Lingzi's version of Beijing's story.
Mom thinks that if a woman stands there, someone will pursue her, and Mom feels that when she reaches a point, she should be assigned housing to her children, and Mom thinks that women should be pampered by men by nature, and all material things should be provided by men, and she feels that it is a daughter's problem that she can't get married, because you don't have a female advantage.
A mother in a small 18th-tier town later came to the provincial capital because of her marriage, and has not worked since then. She is separated from parallel spaces and social circles, and grows alone in the peerless and lonely, like a quiet flower!
If you sing the praises of this in a petty-bourgeois mood, it seems very romantic, empty valley and orchid. Unstained with mortal dust! Isn't it said that the superior wise men are lonely people? But when it came to really getting along, Xiaoling was very distressed, and she smiled bitterly:
"My mother is naïve, equivalent to a minor, and I can't communicate with her. So I won't tell her anything. It's useless to say it. Instead, he was scolded! ”
Mom happily bought Xiaoling high heels, that kind of cheongsam, and a short skirt, but Xiaoling said to her, do you see what you wear like this in Beijing? Mom is angry!
Mom also ran to Xiaoling's unit, waiting for their leaders at the door, wanting to talk to the leaders, but thanks to Xiaoling knowing about this, she quickly pulled her mother away. Mom put up five notices in the boarding house, and at 7:00 p.m. tonight, Auntie is going to hold a meeting for you.
So for Xiaoling, her mother is a big mountain, her mother is a bomb, her mother is a little girl who needs to be coaxed and persuaded at any time, and she is not the only mother who can provide her with strong arms and warm hugs.
As for Dad, he hasn't been in touch with them for many years. So when she encountered wind and rain outside, Xiaoling also knew that she was a child without an umbrella, and she had to carry it.
A lot of young people have nothing.
I only discovered this in the past few years. A poor person does not necessarily have good health, and a child from a low-income family does not necessarily have a happy childhood. Poor women can also get depressed. A very ordinary working couple, the life of the stretched is not necessarily, so they live a plain and beautiful life, and their hearts are corresponding!
The little flowers on the edge of the well and on the ridges of the fields are often more difficult than those splendid girls in the greenhouse. That siege is so difficult to overcome, even though you entered the top 100 in the province in the college entrance examination, even though you graduated from the top universities in the industry, you are still trapped in the siege.
But at the same time, they are being pulled by other family members, tied up, tied hands and feet, and weighed on by heavy burdens, and sometimes they are really depressed!
Just like the difficulties that Xiaoling encountered at that time, I helped her analyze and don't have any interest in that middle-aged man. He has no feelings for you, and he doesn't accompany you when you go for an abortion, which obviously doesn't want to get involved. If it is acceptable, it is feasible to ask her for surgery and compensation.
Don't think that it will be smooth sailing if you can get into the business post, in a large unit like yours, you have to learn to hibernate, you first lie dormant here for three years and five years, and then you can also nourish your body.
As for the relationship with the encounter, there is no way to give guidance on this matter, work hard for the best, plan for the worst, and strive to get the dormitory of the unit first. Take your time with everything else, and I think you'll have good luck if you adjust your mindset.
Next, I don't have much chance to be with Xiaoling, because I have to go back to my mother-in-law, Xiaoling has lived with me for more than a month, and when I left, I cleaned up the room very cleanly, she transferred the money to me, I said to her: "You are so tight now, don't think about giving money to others, I won't give you money, even if it is a normal operation, my room is empty, you live here for a few days without getting in the way!" You can also help me open the window to dissipate the smell.
Xiaoling, later ordered me a lot of food from the Internet, what yogurt cereal, and dried fruit tea, oh yes, and a box of tea. I can't figure out how much the tea is worth, and the things are delivered to my home. Hey, I said you're a kid!
I always feel sorry for Xiaoling,
I can't see each other, and after serving my mother-in-law, when she gets better, I will go back to Tianjin, and my wife is still working here. The geographical distance and the busyness of both parties caused us to have to chat online. Recently, her life has become more spacious, and the man seems to have given her more than 50,000 yuan in the end, which is considered compensation. The dormitory of the unit is finally her turn, and with the cover rolls, Xiaoling also has a place to stay in Beijing.
I heard her say that now she puts more of her spare time on serving dishes in the café, and she is quite comfortable with the plates, and she can decompress when she works! Xiaoling said that he couldn't be depressed anyway......
I really love a child like Xiaoling, and I don't have any resources on my body. The burden is enough, their steps are like a heavy snail, but the snail can bring its own home, alas, I don't know what to describe her!
The reason why I remembered this incident was also because some time ago, I had a conversation with my nephew.
I have a cousin named Xiao'er. This guy is a swinger, but a few years ago, he also had a true love, he fell in love with a girl who was a girl in a small town, and broke through the resistance and got married, but the marriage was in chaos, and in the end, it was only more than a year, and the two left.
There are many reasons for divorce, but one is that my cousin can't understand his ex-wife. In her nephew's words, the girl said:
"Looking at the little man with a quiet face, but he is stubborn and hard, and his temper is weird, and he cries and makes trouble at every turn. I thought that only the eldest lady was squeamish, but I didn't expect girls from ordinary families to be so awkward, and I had to coax her. At first, it was okay, but then I didn't have that kind of leisure.
When he said this, he had been divorced from his wife for a while.
In addition, in terms of big and small, the ex-wife's family is not sensible.
For example, when he accompanied his wife home for the New Year, his father-in-law and mother-in-law had a serious conversation with them. The content is roughly as follows:
Don't smoke, don't drink, go home after work, work hard in the unit, young people behave more, rush to work without suffering, and listen to the leader.
These precepts made the big and small feel foggy, and he tried to find out the behind-the-scenes sound of these words, hidden words, but he couldn't find out. So he felt a little angry, he said: "I have married his daughter, I also respect their parents very much, they are all a family, what are you doing with me?" What exactly are they trying to say? ”
But after a long time, I learned from the pain, and now I am a father, although my son can't call him a father, but he is already one and a half years old, and sometimes he sees his little son sleeping there, lying next to him, in the second marriage, looking back on his first marriage, he said that he suddenly felt sorry for his ex-wife.
I smiled and asked him the size, your reflex arc is too long. In the first marriage, I didn't feel sorry for my daughter-in-law, but now I married someone else, so I felt sorry for the one in front of me. Why did you go earlier?
Big Novel: "Hey. My current wife Xiaokui and I grew up as children and were the right people, but at first I didn't have a relationship with her, but now, we live quite well.
The first time I went to Aoi's house, Aoi's father patted me on the shoulder and invited me to taste his collection of cigars.
Then he chatted with me. We talked about my current job, the nature of our joint-stock bank, and the pressure and embarrassment we have been facing recently, and he patted me on the shoulder and said, "Your father has found you a very accurate position, and the overall atmosphere of your unit and your department is suitable for people like you." ”
Then I casually chatted with him about my direct leader, and I said, I got along well with that guy, and that big brother treated me well. But now my dad asked me to transfer to another department!
I said a lot of things, but after listening carefully, Xiaokui's father smiled, and he said:
"Your father, put that person above you so that he could be your master and guide you to progress. But if you feel too comfortable with him, it means that he is pandering to you, which is his dereliction of duty! ”
When the big and small heard this, their hearts chuckled. Immediately, he suddenly felt distressed about his ex-wife.
You see, this kid's thinking jumps or not!
It's all fathers, Xiaokui's father is an old-timer in the financial circle, and his classmates are all over the system. Which big guy are you mentioning? He can squint and tell you about the person's provenance and even work style.
And his daughter, in this circle, there are many people who can call them uncles and uncles. No matter what Xiaokui does, her father can take her like a camel walking in the desert, and the old camel will pave the way for her children to move forward steadily and flatly.
He's got all the undercurrents for you. He has marked all the springs for you.
At the same time, the new mother-in-law of the big and small invited them to eat fruit with a smile, and asked the size with concern: "How is the kitchen aunt I sent to you?" The dishes she makes are Lu Wei as the base, but she will also be a little Chaoyuechuan, don't you young people like spicy food? ”
The second wife, the new mother, Xiao Kui, was lying there lazily at this time, with her mouth open and her mother stuffing lychees into her mouth, peeling the shell and removing the core. Nearby, a nanny and a tutor were building blocks with their youngest son on the carpet.
As for Xiao Kui, she is playing with her mobile phone there, and it is rare to have a relaxing time. This elite woman in the industry, as soon as she returned to her parents' home, she became a child in seconds.
Xiao Kui is the treasure in the palm of his parents, and he took him to explore the world when he was three years old. Disney she's been all over. Disney all over the world. Mickey Mouse from various regions has been photographed with her.
As an only daughter, Xiaokui, his parents dot on him very much, as for studying, learning is nothing, it's a big deal, send you to the UK, where you can get a master, and then you can still be employed. If you have a problem at work, you can ask your father. If she is uncomfortable in life, she will call her mother. Parents will always be her supporters and compliments. There is no authoritative preaching in this family, there is no emotional venting, and Xiaokui's parents provide him with a toolbox full of warm maintenance and technical demining.
This is a confident girl! So Xiaokui dares to pursue everything about herself, even her boyfriend and marriage.
The size can't help but sigh, can the daughter who has been raised like this have a peaceful personality? Can you not be a good person? She has both experience and nourishment, both family backing and parental love, who is not the big heroine when she is outside, who is the big heroine? When I go home, Xiaokui won't be coquettish, who will be coquettish?
Think about the ex-wife who was beaten and scolded by her parents since she was a child and had to take the first place in the school, and think about the ex-husband who talked about lies and empty words all day long, and couldn't help the child's work at all, but picked his nose and eyes. The pair of so-called old intellectuals, thinking about the times they talked to their daughters, the faces that were as flat as stainless steel.
As soon as he thinks of this, a nameless fire swells up in his heart. He felt that his ex-wife Sayuri was too pitiful, growing up in such a family, under the pressure, Sayuri was crushed like a crooked sprout, and she stubbornly rampaged in this world. And then there will be a corresponding price.
"Auntie, but I can't help Sayuri myself. Because I can't stand her stinky temper, and I can't stand her sensitivity and stubbornness, inferiority complex, and even hysteria.
Big and small: I don't have that much energy to save her, at my age, given the pressure of my job. I need a good wife!
Some girls are really carrying a big mountain on their backs!
Yishu once said a sentence through Xibao's mouth: "Girls, either have a lot of money, or have a lot of love." "In fact, this is what every mother can provide for her children.
At the very least, one or the other!
is like the writer Li Juan who wrote "My Altay". Although her mother was poor, she provided her children with a relaxed and full childhood. Then in Li Juan's words, you can feel that she has a strength, the kind of heroic and progressive power from her heart.
Such a girl, no matter in any class, can be born out of nowhere, go to heaven and earth, overcome all difficulties, and be omnipotent.
The pride reflects the evening, and the people are not lonely.
They will also be in control of their marriage and family, and they will never describe themselves as water-drifters!
Such a girl is a happy female version of Monkey King!
May every daughter have a good mother.
I also hope that every mother has a good doll!
A pair of mother and daughter, warm to each other, rely on each other, and walk hand in hand!
