#头条创作挑战赛#
In the classic book "The Story of the Little Window", there is such a profound and thought-provoking sentence: "Instead of making people feel happy when they first meet, it is better to let people get along for a long time without the slightest boredom." ”
Walking in the prosperous world, we will always interweave with all kinds of characters, and just maintaining interpersonal relationships is enough to make us feel a little tired in the busy.
Sometimes, an unthought word may sow the seeds of estrangement in the hearts of others.
Sometimes, a casual action can also touch the sensitive nerves of others and cause dissatisfaction.
The difficulty of life's journey is not in the trek, but precisely in dealing with the complex and subtle and fickle human feelings.
Therefore, the fifty-eighth chapter of the Tao Te Ching is incisively expounded: "The saint is square but not harsh, sharp but not stinging, upright but not indulgent." ”
This kind of person, they stick to integrity but do not seem to be self-serving, have a unique personality but know how not to hurt others, honest and straightforward but can grasp moderation, not too presumptuous.
Only by interacting with such a person can we truly experience the comfort and comfort of a spring breeze, and feel the beautiful realm of stretching our hearts and suddenly opening up our minds.
Don't ask, understand each other
In the fifty-eighth chapter of the Tao Te Ching, Lao Tzu warns us: "If the government decree is too harsh, the people will easily fall into want." In other words, if political indoctrination is too elaborate and strict, the people may lose their true state of indoctrination. In the same way, if people are too shrewd and get to the bottom of everything, it often leads to alienation and exhaustion in interpersonal relationships. While it is positive to delve into knowledge, it is important to dig too much into the details of interpersonal interactions, often inadvertently touching sensitive areas of emotion.
In real life, there is no shortage of people dressed in the costume of good luck who try to reveal the essential truth of everything. Some people know that asking questions will cause others to fall into trouble, but they still hold on to it, and even when they perceive that the other party is deliberately evading, they still press forward step by step. As everyone knows, excessive digging is like digging three feet into the ground, and the deeper the injury. As the old saying goes, "The one who sees the fish is unknown", overly shrewd questioning will only lead to bad consequences and bad omen for oneself.
Life doesn't require reasoning, and there are things that don't need to be delved into or thoroughly understood. Just as a butterfly is beautiful, it was a caterpillar that could not be avoided before it broke out of its cocoon and became a butterfly.
There is also a wise proverb in the Treatise on Heaven: "All people in the world can perceive the results of all things, but it is difficult to discern their invisible causes, and this is the reason why the way of heaven is so." Only the sages do not force their insight into the way of heaven. The moral is that whether it is a friend, a lover, or a parent or a child, everyone has secrets and feelings deep in their hearts that they do not want to show easily.
Therefore, no matter how deep the friendship is and how close the relationship is, people should maintain a respectful distance between each other and give each other appropriate space, so that the relationship can last for a long time and last.
Don't cross the line, feel comfortable with each other
The wisdom of the Tao Te Ching says: "Contentment is not disgraceful, and knowledge is not lost", this ancient philosophical saying deeply implies the delicate balance of interpersonal communication. If you can be content, you will have no shame and no shame, and your heart will be at peace. When dealing with friends and family, if you have the wisdom to stop in moderation, you can avoid falling into danger due to excess.
The root cause of many troubles and entanglements in the world often lies in the failure to grasp the appropriateness and the lack of proper boundary awareness. Even if it is a close connection, it is necessary to respect the boundaries between individuals and clarify their boundaries in order to maintain a harmonious coexistence.
In the case of Sanmao's experience in the Sahara Desert, she developed a strong friendship with a neighbor girl, Guka. However, as time went by, Guka's behavior gradually lost his proportion, and in his daily trivialities, he took away some onions today and some firewood tomorrow. When Sanmao found that his beloved skirt was missing, he didn't expect that it was Guka who took it without permission. This incident made Sanmao deeply aware that this friendship without a sense of boundaries could no longer be maintained, so he chose to distance himself.
The ancients said: "People do something, and then they can do something." This is a far-reaching statement that warns the world that people should act with scale, just like appreciating half-blooming flowers and tasting slightly drunk wines, so as to appreciate the true meaning.
The most comfortable relationship between people is that although the two parties are close but do not take a step beyond the thunder pool, they can not only know each other, but also maintain a suitable distance. Therefore, in the way of getting along, we must act in moderation, not too much, and friendship should not be overconsumed, but should always be revered and cherished.
Even if emotions are as deep as a rock, once they are taken for granted and squandered at will, they will inevitably break. Flowers still bloom again, but broken emotional ties are often difficult to recover. Therefore, remembering that "contentment is not disgraceful, and knowledge is not lost" is indeed the eternal wisdom in interpersonal communication.
Don't force each other, be free with each other
In the wisdom classic "Tao Te Ching", Lao Tzu once profoundly expounded: "The operation of the way of heaven does not need to fight and naturally wins, does not need words to respond skillfully, does not need to be summoned and comes by itself, and tranquility and calmness contain profound planning." "As the years go by, we come to realize that in this vast world, the passage of time, the establishment of trust, and the people who are destined to leave cannot be forcibly retained by man.
Instead of trying hard to maintain a separated person who has made up his mind, it is better to accept the aggregation and separation of life with an indifferent heart. Because everything that is forced will only bring pain in the end.
During the Spring and Autumn Period, Gongzi Chong'er fled the Jin Kingdom for some reason, and after ups and downs, his cronies left one by one, and only Jie Zitui was always by his side. When the suffering passed, Chong'er ascended the throne of Jin Wengong, but when he was rewarding his merits, he accidentally forgot about Jie Zitui. When Duke Wen of Jin remembered this matter at the prompting of his courtiers, Jie Zitui had quietly said goodbye and retired to the mountains and forests.
Jin Wengong was reluctant to leave Jie Zitui, and personally went to the mountains to ask him to come out of the mountain, but Jie Zitui always adhered to his original intention and did not want to see each other. In the end, Jin Wengong had no choice but to take extreme measures - burning the mountains and forests, trying to force Jie Zitui to appear in the raging fire and billowing smoke, but it turned out to be a tragedy, and Jie Zitui was unfortunately buried in the fire.
The ancients often said: "What is destined will eventually be owned, and what is not destined does not have to be forced." "Not everyone who passes by is destined to leave a strong mark on the picture of our lives.
In the journey of life, people come and go as passers-by, and reunion and separation are all governed by fate. If the fate is deep, they will rely on each other and go to the future together; If the fate is still shallow, send sincere blessings and keep good memories. Instead of suffering and entanglement, it is better to go with the flow and let go, not only to preserve dignity for yourself, but also to give others the respect they deserve.
In life, we tend to be more interested in the clarity and purity of water, tranquility and peace, rather than the richness of tea or the mellowness of wine. This is just as the "Zhuangzi" said: "The interaction between gentlemen is as light as clear water, and the interaction between villains is as sweet as sweet wine." ”
The emotional communication between people is just like the realm that is as light as water, and there is no need to be oppressed by the enthusiasm that is as hot as fire, nor does it need to bear the sense of urgency of "not seeing you for a day, such as every three autumns". This kind of relationship is not sweet, not too close and not too distant, everything is kept at the right distance, so that people feel just the right amount of comfort.
On the long journey of life, I hope that you and I can walk hand in hand in this comfortable relationship, walk through the long road of life together, and enjoy the better scenery of life along the way.