#头条创作挑战赛#
Author: White Peach Oolong Tea (Rich Book Author)
Have you ever experienced any of the following?
Dressed up carefully on weekdays, criticized by older colleagues for dressing weirdly;
What's the use of trying to learn a skill, but being ridiculed by friends;
full of anticipation to work hard in the big city, and was urged by his parents to hurry home to take the exam;
I was going to plan my own life, but there were always people who jumped out to oppose it.
As Jia Pingwa said:
"Everybody wants to have their own voice, and when the sound floats, there are no words and no stanzas, and it becomes noise."
Many times, we can't stop others from expressing their opinions, especially when facing our elders, and we can hardly just remain silent.
But no matter what, we can only be responsible for our own lives.
In the face of the "encirclement" of other people's remarks, even if you can't choose whether to listen or not, at least you can choose whether to enter the heart or not.
Blocking out meaningless "noise" is the only way to bring life back to tranquility.
When you become an adult, don't accept the "advice" of others
In the book "Living Clumsily Like Me", there is this sentence:
"Easily listen to what others tell you, let taboos get in the way of your vision, set rules for yourself, and live a conventional life, which I call second-hand life."
Life is a journey full of unknowns, and exploring the changing scenery is its charm.
If you are superstitious about other people's strategies and give up thinking in order to seek comfort, then no matter how hard you work forward, you are doomed to have no chance with your favorite distant place.
The reality is that most people are not strong-willed, instigated by others, and are willing to play supporting roles instead of protagonists, and as a result, they are reduced to mediocrity in a wave of praise.
I've seen a real case.
Xiaoxue, who has just graduated, is ready to stay in Beijing to find a job and work hard for her childhood dream.
Just as she was gearing up, her parents spoke and expressed strong opposition to Xiaoxue's stay in Beijing.
The reason is that the competition in big cities is fierce, and I am worried that my daughter will suffer and I will not be able to find a good family when I am old.
Xiaoxue said that it doesn't matter, and she is willing to pay more for her dreams.
But the parents did not listen to the persuasion at all, and repeatedly emphasized that stability is the most important thing.
The two sides quarreled for a while, and it wasn't until the second elder released cruel words that Xiaoxue had to give in and go home.
Xiaoxue, who returned to her hometown, settled down in the system, and in less than half a year, she felt unprecedented boredom, and finally relied on depression medication to adjust herself.
Yu Hua wrote in "Alive": "Life belongs to everyone's own feelings, not to anyone else's opinion. ”
At the age when people have little to do, they need to form the correct three views with the help of external forces, otherwise they will go astray.
But once you pass the stage of ignorance, you must learn to take full responsibility for your own life.
Because what you want and what you don't want, no one knows better than yourself.
No matter how good other people's advice is, it is only for reference and cannot replace inner choices.
Being an independent, less obedient person is the key to maturity.
Full of "golden and jade good words",
It may just be a casual pastime for bystanders
Mr. Lu Xun said:
"I am afraid that the way of doing things has to be considered by myself, and many good prescriptions prescribed by others are often just waste paper."
We often say that the authorities are confused, and the bystanders are clear.
After all, the spectator is a spectator, neither acting as a referee nor entering the game, even if he sees the overall situation thoroughly at the moment, he may not be able to replace the chess player in every subsequent move.
The world is unpredictable and difficult to control, and if one person genuinely thinks about the other, he or she will have to intervene in the cause and effect of the other person, and it will take a lot of effort and may not pay off.
Therefore, those who claim to be considerate of their hearts and like to give advice, but are irresponsible, are just using other people's embarrassment for amusement.
Read a story.
A father and son went into the city to sell donkeys, leading the donkeys along the way.
When passers-by saw them, they smiled and said, "It's really stupid to leave the donkey and not ride, but to walk, and I advise you to ride the donkey into the city, how convenient it is." ”
When the father and son heard this, they were justified, so the father rode on the back of the donkey and let the son walk ahead and take the reins.
After walking for a while, a young man passed by, and when he saw this, he said, "Uncle, you are too ruthless, you ride a donkey to let your son walk, how tired he should be." ”
The father was immediately ashamed, so he rolled over and let his son ride the donkey and walk on his own.
After a while, an old man passed by them and shouted, "How can you, a young man, be so unfilial as you let your elderly father go on foot." ”
Hearing this, the father and son were completely dumbfounded, stunned and at a loss.
The philosopher Schopenhauer had an aphorism: "Don't let your brain become a racetrack for other people's ideas." ”
In reality, there are many good teachers, who seem to be enthusiastic, but in fact they are vain and arrogant, and they just want to show off their knowledge and gain a low-cost sense of superiority in a way that helps others.
This kind of behavior is not so much to relieve people's worries as to entertain them.
Therefore, it is better to be cautious about those who blurt out "for your good" without careful consideration.
The greatest transparency for adults,
It is to isolate all "noise"
Lu Yao wrote in the book "Ordinary World": "In these ordinary worlds, there is no day of peace. ”
In this era, undisturbed life is becoming more and more luxurious, and too many people's inner peace is almost extinct.
We crave a secluded corner to liberate our bodies and minds, even if it is only a moment of peace, enough to soothe our weary souls.
However, it is difficult for people to walk in the world, and the intricate relationships, large and small responsibilities, make it impossible for us to turn a deaf ear to the words of others.
Everyone has their own unique opinions, who is right and who is wrong?
In fact, within reason, there is no absolute distinction between superior and inferior concepts. Either option, there are pros and cons.
Instead of believing in other people's ideas, it is better to forge your own path.
What we really need to do is to cut out all the "noise" and listen to our own heart.
1. Stay away from "noise sources"
If you are not a very focused person, or you can't persuade others to say less, then getting away from the current environment is the best way to achieve peace.
There's a popular saying on the internet: Escape is shameful, but useful.
Although, to a certain extent, not facing the problem is a manifestation of admitting inditation and giving in.
But out of sight is a good way to solve problems.
2. Be wary of the "wind in your ears"
The gossip of strangers can be put aside casually, but it is difficult to ignore the chatter of those around you.
We spend time with our relatives, friends, colleagues, etc., and are influenced by each other in everything we say and do.
Even if they are strongly opposed, as long as they come from their mouths and turn into a gentle and long "wind in the ears", they can change a person's attitude without even realizing it.
In fact, all kinds of greetings and exhortations are not necessarily selfless caring measures.
In the name of "for your own good", there are many examples of selfish desires that aim to satisfy one's own selfish desires, and if we do not distinguish between gentle "noise", then the one who hurts us the most will be our close relatives or close friends.
3. Believe in the power of concentration
Have you ever noticed that when you devote yourself to one thing, the whole world will instantly quiet down, and no matter how noisy the outside world is, it can't shake your mind?
That's the power of focus.
If you feel that your surroundings are noisy and you can't get out of it for a while, you might as well try to concentrate and focus a little.
Where attention is, there is perception.
Distracted, no matter how small the movement in the outside world is, it roars like thunder.
Concentration, no matter how big the outside world is, it is as silent as a flower.
The writer Campbell once said, "In order to be happy, you have to put aside the question of what others think of me." ”
Life is like a play, I am a screenwriter and director, no matter how good the "script" written by others is, it is not as warm and wonderful as acting in my true colors.
What's more, most of the "scripts" are inferior works dressed as high-quality products.
This world is full of too much "noise", and only by taking the initiative to stay away, actively shielding, and actively refusing, can we return the inner world to peace.
The ancients said that stillness can give birth to wisdom, and with this "wisdom", most of the troubles in life will naturally be resolved one by one.
May you cut off the "noise" of life and live a peaceful life.
作者简介：白桃乌龙茶，富书作者，一个人要想成功，一个人要想成功，你都需要一种能力来支撑你做好自己，不被阻挠，不被诱惑，这就是屏蔽力，第4本书已出版，图书《屏蔽力》正在热销中，你的生活，需要屏蔽力，和500万人一起升级生活认知，本文：富兰克林读书俱乐部，本文版权归富书所有，未经授权，不得转载，侵权必究
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