Text/Lan's mother talks about parenting
A friend who was traveling to visit relatives ➕ told me
She lives separately from her husband, who earns money to support the family outside the home, and she runs an online store in her hometown and takes care of the baby full-time
No, taking advantage of the May Day holiday for a few days, a friend who had been busy for a few months handed over the two children to her grandmother to take care of for a few days, and she came on a trip that said go
The last leg of the trip passed through her husband's city, and in order to catch the wind and wash the dust, he took her out to eat delicious food that night
On the way home, her husband deliberately joked: "You don't care about me now, you just focus on your two daughters, and it's not me who can rely on me when you get old."
The friend was silent, and then only said: "I'm tired, you can carry me"
As a result, her husband replied to her: "Walk more, you can exercise"
So, my friend took the opportunity to say such a paragraph
She said:
Do you know why I'm so focused on my two girls? Because they don't seem to be disappointed in anything
I want to go somewhere, and they'll say "you go" and we'll take care of ourselves
If I want to eat, they will buy it with me
Even when I said that I was tired of walking, they would say, "I'll carry you when I'm tired."
After listening to my friend's words, I looked back at my child and seemed to be less anxious
Indeed, many times it is not the children who need to be accompanied, but the mothers who can't do without their children...
In particular, the following plots are easy to break:
01
Care when you're sick
Will keep asking "Mom, is it better?"
has a mother of two children, who eats three meals a day and is as small as her one son and one daughter
Dad was busy with work all day, either working overtime or socializing, and it was three shifts in the middle of the night when he got home
From the birth of the child to the beginning of school, and later to the homework help, the mother is like a robot, overworking every day
Especially when the child is sick, whether it is the eldest son or the youngest daughter, she has to show up in the hospital with a big and small drag
Every time she was busy and helpless, tired and tired, she wanted to pick up her mobile phone and call her husband, but when she thought that the call would always be "no leave", "no way", "I can only work hard for you", she put down her mobile phone in disappointment, and she clearly knew that the call was in vain
So, day after day, no matter what kind of things she encountered, she was used to carrying them by herself
One winter, she fell ill with a fever and couldn't bear it as soon as she brought her eldest son home from kindergarten
Lying on the bed, a man struggled with his illness
The son saw that his mother was sweating profusely, and his mouth kept saying that he was uncomfortable, so he hurriedly poured water and took a towel, and put an ice towel on his forehead for his mother, and then asked intimately, "Mom, is it better?"
As for the youngest daughter, she has just learned to walk, and although she can't do anything, she is also sensible to lie next to her mother and not make trouble
One will kiss the mouth, the other will blow the forehead, and the mouth will say "It doesn't hurt ~ It doesn't hurt"
It wasn't until the second half of the night, when the fever slowly subsided, that Dad came home from the party, and the two children were so tired that they went to bed and fell asleep
Thinking back to the scene of being cared for by the two children, all the grievances seemed to be cured at that moment
There is also a mother who remarried after divorce
Probably after experiencing a failed marriage in the previous period, she attached great importance to her family after marriage, and even the sons of her current husband and ex-wife were regarded as her own
Every day, I try my best to cook all kinds of nutritious meals, and everything at home is arranged
But for this "mother" who appeared out of thin air, the boy was always alienated and rejected, and even the school's parent-teacher meeting did not allow her, the "new mother", to participate
Fortunately, fortunately, the sincerity and the golden stone are open, and the mother's respect and love for her stepson in everything has slowly touched that cold heart
Especially after becoming pregnant again, the advanced maternal age itself needs to be extra careful, but she still insists on taking care of the boy's affairs every day
The current husband proposed: "You can hire a babysitter"
She refused: "No, how can the nanny be careful with our own people, plus the baby in the belly is about to be born, we can't let my brother feel that we don't love him if we have a little brother or little sister."
These words happened to be "eavesdropped" by the boy hiding in the shadows
It was moved and accepted, and the boy completely recognized this "mother"
Once, when the mother was cooking, the mother accidentally cut her hand, and although the child said coldly when she saw it, "It's so stupid, you can still cut your hand", but she still didn't hesitate to go to a nearby pharmacy in the rain to buy a band-aid
Seeing the appearance of the child getting wet when he came home, all the efforts he had made were also responded to at that moment
And this incident gave me the impression that "children know how to repay and can distinguish between right and wrong", especially those children who put their parents on the tip of their hearts, they can be more careful than we imagined
is like a healing passage read on the Internet:
"Who loves me the most, of course it's my child, he will hold me when I'm angry, I can't help but hit him, he will also hold me, cry to hug, happy to hug, sleep with me by his side, he needs my love, and he endures my bad temper, so I have no reason not to love him..."
Yes, every child's eyes are mom and dad, and the love in their hearts is also full
When we are anxious, we also look back at our children, we are not nothing, nor do we have nothing, children are our greatest gain, but also the greatest motivation to move forward~
02
Forgive when apologizing
Will respond immediately: "It's okay mom"
When I was chatting with a mother, I asked her, "What moment do you think your child loves you the most?"
Mom thought for a moment, then recalled:
When my daughter was in first grade, she didn't do her homework well, and I lost my temper with her
In order to punish her for a small punishment, I also locked her in her room and warned: "You are not allowed to go out until you finish your homework"
Later, when I saw her avoiding me in fear, I immediately regretted it
I apologized to her and said, "Baby, I'm sorry, Mommy shouldn't have lost her temper at you, and she shouldn't have locked you in her room and wouldn't let you out."
I thought my daughter would be so angry that she wouldn't even forgive me
Unexpectedly, with tears still hanging from the corners of her eyes, she immediately responded: "It's okay mom."
I heard from a friend that the child also said something that made her feel guilty when she still thinks about it
The child said:
"Mom, I forgive you, because you are my favorite mother, even if you criticize, scold me, and beat me, I will still love you very much..."
used three "favorites" in a row, which shows how deep the child's love for his mother is
Speaking of this, another tearful thing suddenly came to mind
The 9-year-old girl is youyou, well-behaved and sensible since she was a child, and basically she hasn't let the family worry about it
Every time there is a failure to do well in the exam, housework that is not done well, including not meeting her mother's expectations, she will take the initiative to apologize to her mother and ask for forgiveness
Day after day, year after year, I don't know how long this life lasted
Suddenly, one day, when facing accusations and complaints again, Yoyo no longer bowed his head and apologized, but said with an indifferent face:
"I know, I've done my best"
"Mom, you know what? I don't seem to be able to love you anymore, like you can't see how hard I try, I don't have the strength anymore."
After hearing this, my mother was stunned for a while
It turns out that a child's love for his parents will also expire
If a child lives in an environment of blows, criticism, and blame for a long time, even if they love their parents in their bones, they will not express love because of the lack of love...
Therefore, to love children is to respond to children's love in a timely manner
A confession of "I love you", a response of "it's okay", a reminder of "don't be afraid, mom is here", and a smile on your lips at any time...
These can make the child's love continue, and he will be happy for a long time~
03
Don't hold grudges when you're anxious
As soon as he finished scolding, he was coquettish and flattering with a hippie smile
Many times, children are more contented than we think, and more vulnerable than we think
About this realization, we have to start with two things experienced
The first thing is tutoring
Some time ago, Lan's mother was half-lying in bed to help her eldest daughter with homework and teach her younger daughter to read and write
Watching the two children fish lazily from time to time, and then say some answers that are completely inconsistent with the question, I angrily shook my hands and left
At that time, because of the violentness, my hand accidentally hit my little daughter's body, and I wanted to apologize when I saw her in pain
But my daughter was afraid that I was worried, so she forced out a smile and said, "It's okay, it doesn't hurt at all, Mom, don't be angry, okay?"
Later, in order to make up for her youngest daughter, she specially made her favorite chicken thighs for dinner
As a result, my daughter jumped a few times happily when she saw it, and then hugged me and said, "Mommy is so good, I really love you so much"
Looking at the way it was so easy to be satisfied, I was ashamed
The second thing is to wash your hair
I have to wash my two daughters' hair one by one every weekend, and the eldest daughter who doesn't like to wash her hair is the one who is difficult every time
When washing his hair, he accidentally drenched his face with water, and he could exaggerate the screams of "killing pigs", and he didn't know how he was abused
It's the same if you wash your hair with a little bit of force, and you will be grumpy and yell "it hurts"
When I hear this, I always get angry, and I always say:
"What tantrums do you have, what qualifications do you have to lose your temper, we wash your hair, you should also thank me"
Later, the eldest daughter was annoyed and chose to wash her hair by herself
Then when she washed the little girl's hair, she was more quiet than her sister's temper
I praised her for being "really good, not as much as my sister"
As a result, the youngest daughter's answer was: "Because you are too fierce, I am afraid"
After this incident, I thought that the eldest daughter would hold a grudge, and the younger daughter was even more afraid of me
But after sleeping all night, when I apologized to them the next morning for their irritable behavior in washing their hair, the two children replied in unison, "We have forgotten about it"
Next, there are all kinds of coquettish flattery
The eldest daughter said, "I just want to stick to you, my mother smells so good."
The youngest daughter also said: "I'm just a follower, I'll follow you wherever you go"
So, since then, I have tried to change my temper, and whenever my daughter says "I'm sorry", I will immediately respond "It's okay"
If you accidentally do something wrong, you will also say the word "sorry" in time
And the mother-daughter relationship of the threesome, there is nothing that cannot be solved by "talking well".
This is where the "no fun" is in education, and the best relationship between parents and children is also a two-way rush and a two-way response
Mom and Dad love their children, and children happen to love you in the same way~
So, what other different experiences do you share about some touching moments in your child's growth? Welcome to leave your footprints and related suggestions in the comment area!