Text | Eight melon fish
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"If I could do it all over again, I would definitely have a child sooner!"
What is the reason for Kang Hui to write such a sentence in his autobiography "if it was at the beginning"?
What is the reason why Kang Hui, who has already regretted Dink, still has no children of his own?
01 "Before I met her, I never looked forward to marriage"
Before meeting Liu Yajie.
Kang Hui never looked forward to marriage.
It is not even too late for a man to marry even if he reaches the age of thirty.
But when Liu Yajie appeared in his life.
He had the idea of starting a family like never before.
Kang Hui and Liu Yajie are brothers and sisters in the same school.
It was only through the matchmaking of friends that the two got to know each other.
The first date between the two still makes Liu Yajie laugh when I think about it.
On the same day, Liu Yajie ordered a soup she liked.
Kang Hui was very straight, and the man dropped a sentence: "This soup is not delicious." ”
But that's just the beginning.
Later, Liu Yajie accompanied Kang Hui to choose gifts for friends.
I thought that the other party would buy something for me by the way.
I didn't expect to get a popsicle after an afternoon of shopping.
Even when the two said goodbye, Liu Yajie, who got on the bus, wanted to turn around and say goodbye.
But I couldn't even see half of a figure.
But even such an unromantic date still captured the girl's heart.
As for Kang Hui, don't look at him for not understanding the mood.
But he had already recognized the girl in his heart.
It's strange to say.
After the two were together, none of the friends around them were surprised.
Even Kang Hui's teacher was very satisfied when he saw the two together.
Even everyone tacitly assumed that the person Kang Hui was looking for must be Liu Yajie.
It turns out that the eyes of the masses are bright.
Because when the two are together, they are like twins coming out of a mold.
From the way you walk, to the style you dress, to the attitude you do.
It is no exaggeration to describe it as a "natural pair".
Kang Hui, who was not looking forward to marriage.
In the third year with Liu Yajie, he changed his mind.
In his autobiography, he described himself as having fallen in love as follows:
"When I met you, my obsession was no longer in an instant, and I was so happy to embrace your life."
Finally in the eighth year of their relationship.
Kang Hui and Liu Yajie entered the marriage hall as he wished.
But the two quietly reached a consensus of "not having children after marriage".
This can be very bad for both parents.
02 There are three unfilial pieties, and no queen is greater
Since the founding of human society, the continuation of children has become a tacit understanding that human beings do not need to speak.
However, with the progress of society, more and more people have awakened the new consciousness of "living only themselves".
Or out of not wanting to take on the responsibilities of parenthood.
Or out of fear that raising children will reduce their quality of life.
In short, more and more people are choosing "Dink".
And Kang Hui and Liu Yajie's reasons for choosing Dink are very simple.
"We want life to be ours forever."
But the parents on both sides don't think so.
For Kang Hui's mother, holding her grandson is the last wish in her life.
can see the unwavering attitude of the son and daughter-in-law.
She had nothing to do but make a reluctant compromise.
Even though she talked to her son more than once.
But it turned out that the couple began to raise cats at home.
In fact, Kang Hui doesn't like to have pets.
Any pet will make him uncomfortable.
But I can't stop my wife's love for cats.
From one to two to five today.
Kang Hui's concession was not a compromise with his wife.
It is the embodiment of the love for his wife.
But the parents on the other end are getting more and more anxious.
Until Kang Hui's father was diagnosed with advanced liver cancer.
My father's illness was menacing.
Even if he left in too haste, he couldn't let Kang Hui say goodbye.
After the death of the father, the mother again went to her son to talk to him.
"The biggest regret in your father's life is not being able to see his grandson."
These words made Kang Hui feel extremely guilty.
Even if he has a successful career.
But it still can't satisfy the parents.
At this moment, he began to doubt his insistence on Dink's idea.
But with life back on track.
He and his wife also returned to their busy careers.
The consideration of having a child was also put on hold again.
The mother also seemed to accept her fate and stopped mentioning the matter of holding her grandson.
Kang Hui could see the unwillingness in his mother's eyes.
But he still didn't know how to balance his mother's wishes and his own pursuits.
Until the countdown to the mother's life also began.
My mother died of uremia.
On the day of the funeral, Kang Hui was unable to return to his hometown due to work reasons.
You can only kowtow in the direction of your hometown.
Until the funeral, Kang Hui's sister came to visit him.
And told him: "Mom is still regretting when she is dying because you don't want children." ”
Let his parents end up regretting one after another, which is a big blow to Kang Hui.
Even in his autobiography, he wrote this sentence with his own hand:
"The most sorry thing for my parents in this life is to choose Dink. If I could do it all over again, I think I would have fulfilled my mother's wish early, even if it was just one child! ”
Many parents use the phrase "there are three unfilial pieties, and no queen is the greatest" to put pressure on their children who choose Dink.
But in fact, the words "no future is greater" do not refer to the absence of future generations.
Rather, it means that future generations have not done their duty.
If you choose to have a child just because of the regret of your parents.
For the parties, it is not a kind of "moral kidnapping".
To this day, Kang Hui and his wife still have not chosen to have children.
The relationship between the couple is as sweet as when they are in love.
Kang Hui will still take his wife's hand to take a walk downstairs after work every day.
Many people have also asked him if he regrets not having children when he was younger.
But whether it's for Kang Hui, or for everyone.
Life's choices are never perfect.
Never try to glorify a path you didn't choose.
Epilogue:
Kang Hui once said that his biggest fear was Alzheimer's disease.
Because he couldn't imagine that one day he would become a stranger in the eyes of his wife.
But at the same time, he also firmly believes that even if he starts over, he will still fall in love with Liu Yajie.
In this era of abusive love, a man like Kang Hui who has loved his wife for decades is really precious.
Respect their choices and bless their love.