Text丨Li Yue, the quiet girl died
Every night at 8:40 I will accompany you to see the world
"I gradually became the daughter of the glorious lintel of the old Wang family.
Originally, because I was a girl, I couldn't even go to the ancestral grave.
Later, I found out that the rules have always been very snobbish.
The grandfather who said, 'It's okay if you don't want this child', once appointed me as his most precious granddaughter in front of the whole family.
Whenever this happens, my mom just listens quietly. ”
Some time ago, Wang Meng told the story of her and her mother in a speech.
A lot of people broke their defenses.
Because in the body of this Olympic champion's mother, I have seen the shadows of countless mothers.
Nest, forbearance, dedication, and all his life has been standing still.
but harvested the most affectionate love from her daughter.
A traditional mother who completed her arduous counterattack.
01
Li Yue ☽
Wang Meng's mother is called Zhang Xiaoxia.
Born in 1962, she is a typical Northeast woman.
As the eldest daughter and eldest sister in the family, she formed a giving-type personality very early.
Helping parents and younger siblings is a very important labor in the family.
Zhang Xiaoxia got married at the age of 19.
When I arrived at my mother-in-law's house, it was still a hard life.
Wang Meng's father, 9 brothers and sisters.
A large family lives in a large compound.
Since Zhang Xiaoxia was 19 years old, she has taken on multiple identities such as wife, daughter-in-law, and sister-in-law in this big family, and the burden on her body is particularly heavy.
At the age of 20, Zhang Xiaoxia gave birth to her first daughter.
Two years later, she gave birth to Wang Meng.
Wang Meng's birth made the family sad-
"It's another girl, and it's still a girl."
Grandpa even had a not-so-good idea:
"Look at this child like this, it's not necessarily easy to feed, don't do it."
Wang Meng's father's brothers all gave birth to boys.
And he has the highest income and the most stable job.
I just don't have a son.
Grandpa has always been unable to get over it in his heart:
How can the third child not have a son?
Wang Meng's father was even more devastated, and felt that he couldn't hold his head up in the family or in society.
sprinkled all the fire on Zhang Xiaoxia.
Zhang Xiaoxia also felt that she was at a loss.
"My dad fought with her, and as soon as she mentioned it, she immediately wilted.
There is friction between the concubine and the neighbors in the compound, and anyone can use this to stimulate her. ”
Zhang Xiaoxia must be wronged in her heart, but she can only be wronged.
No one spoke for her.
This is a particularly typical traditional family and traditional woman in China.
Heavy man 轻女.
No son equals no hope.
And all the blame is borne on those women who "can't give birth to sons".
They clearly didn't do anything wrong.
But it seems to be a great sin.
For thousands of years, countless women have swallowed the bitter fruit of fate alone in such bad luck.
Don't dare to say wronged.
02
Li Yue ☽
The young Wang Meng knew that because she was a girl, she was disliked and despised.
Let Daddy's face be gloomy.
Let mom be held accountable.
She also felt as if she was at fault.
Although I can't say where the error is.
Or in a very childish way, he declares to the people around him:
I'm a girl, and I can be like a boy.
She climbs ladders, scourges crops, and mischievous.
At the age of three, he dared to climb on the roof alone.
The family builds a house and pounds cement with the adults.
He also removed the TV antenna as a golden hoop stick.
And her father also likes this feeling, and calls her "son, take it easy".
However, because she often caused trouble, she was often beaten.
Grandpa, uncle, and uncle would give her a beating from time to time.
Dad is even more "caught and beaten without mercy".
Every time Wang Meng was beaten, Zhang Xiaoxia felt the most uncomfortable.
But she didn't have the strength to compete with anyone.
I can only hold my daughter with tears in my eyes to see if she has been beaten up.
In Wang Meng's view, Zhang Xiaoxia is an "extremely weak woman".
I don't have a voice at home, and I'm used to silence and forbearance.
is powerless to protect himself, let alone protect his daughter.
03
Li Yue ☽
However, it is such an "extremely weak woman" who strongly supports her daughter's dream.
When he was 10 years old, a private school coach went to the school to select speed skating seedlings.
Wang Meng was the only girl chosen.
Before that, Wang Meng played on the ice near his home every winter.
It's slippery.
At that time, Wang Meng's father disagreed: "What can you do if you play a slippery child?" ”
The coach went to their house twice, but was denied.
But Wang Meng really wanted to go, soft grinding and hard bubbles.
Zhang Xiaoxia saw that her daughter really liked it, and made probably the most correct decision in her life:
"Since the child likes it so much, let her try it."
Later, the coach went for the third time, and Dad finally reluctantly agreed.
It was his mother's persistence that gave Wang Meng the opportunity to change his life.
Since the age of 10, Wang Meng has been living in school to practice skating.
My mother was not at ease and often went to see her.
Although his salary is pitiful.
I still buy a lot of food and drink and share it with other children.
She thinks that if she treats others well, others will treat her daughter better.
Wang Meng has always been reluctant to tell Zhang Xiaoxia that those thoughts are actually wishful thinking on her part.
But that's what mom loves.
In order to make you happier one more point, she would rather pay twelve more points.
Later, every time Wang Meng competed, Zhang Xiaoxia would go to watch.
Cheer for the excellent daughter off the field.
Wang Meng finally saw what her mother had never been - so happy and proud.
In fact, Wang Meng and her sister have had a tacit understanding since childhood.
knew that Zhang Xiaoxia could only rely on the two of them.
Wang Meng said that the biggest motivation for her to practice skating at that time was not to become a great athlete.
It's about being a mom's pride.
She wanted her mother to know that the child who skated the best on the ice was her Zhang Xiaoxia's daughter.
04
Li Yue ☽
Later, Wang Meng became more and more presentable.
was selected into the provincial team, joined the national team, the World Championships, the Olympic Games, and won the prize.
Become a star in the limelight.
She finally has the capital to protect her mother.
Originally, because Zhang Xiaoxia gave birth to two daughters, she was not only looked down upon by her in-laws, but also often abused by her husband.
Wang Meng's father will do something to his wife if he is a little unhappy.
When Wang Meng was a child, he saw his father beating his mother.
I was scared, but I didn't know what to do.
And when she finally grew up, she became an excellent athlete again.
She finally has the strength to compete with her father, both physically and mentally.
Once when she came home from vacation, she saw her father raise her arm and hit her mother again, so she grabbed her father when she went up.
Dad wanted to pull her away, but she "couldn't move".
Another time, because of a trivial matter, my father went to Zhang Xiaoxia's unit to make a fuss, and the scene was very ugly.
Wang Meng, who was training in Canada, took leave overnight and rushed back.
I had a very serious conversation with my parents.
"Since you can't have a good time together, just leave."
When Dad heard this, he was anxious: "What are adults doing and children are fooling in!" ”
And Zhang Xiaoxia actually stood up faintly and said, "I still want to talk to him." ”
Wang Meng understood that his parents' generation had formed their own cognitive system.
Zhang Xiaoxia has already formed her own logical closed loop in her life of chickens and dogs.
When she is beaten, she will remember that her husband is very willing to spend money for her.
will also think that only forbearance can save the children and keep the family.
As a woman, Zhang Xiaoxia's positioning for herself is to pay for the family and the children.
As for whether she is happy or not, it doesn't seem to matter.
This is the concept that Zhang Xiaoxia and generations of Chinese women have deeply rooted in their hearts.
It doesn't seem strange.
It seems very strange.
05
Li Yue ☽
Fortunately, Wang Meng is getting more and more promising.
Her status in the family is getting higher and higher.
"As I got better and better on the field, I gradually became the daughter of the glorious lintel of the old Wang family.
Originally, because I was a girl, I couldn't even go to the ancestral grave.
Later, I found out that the rules have always been very snobbish.
The grandfather who said, 'It's okay if you don't want this child', once appointed me as his most precious granddaughter in front of the whole family.
My dad will also show off everywhere when he is happy, and I, the girl, will not change my ten sons. ”
Whenever this happens, Zhang Xiaoxia listens quietly.
She didn't break with them, and reversed her grievances and injuries over the years.
Wang Meng said, "She will always stand still, always silent and endure, and live her life with a kind of silence that responds to all changes with the same." ”
Maybe she had already resigned herself when she was hurt.
Perhaps for women in that situation, resignation and numbness are the best ways to survive.
So after many years, the original grievances have long been dried in her heart.
There is no trace.
Not remembering and not caring is also a blessing.
But what's the point of a woman enduring her life like this?
There are also yes.
They will receive the most sincere love from the children.
Wang Meng said:
"I've been asked who is the person who has influenced me the most?
The standard answer seems to point to a shining name, such and such a heroic figure, or such and such a great athlete.
But in my world, the greatest is my mother, Ms. Zhang Xiaoxia.
All the peaks and valleys, it is always my mother who stands behind me to accompany me, encourage me, and always push me at critical moments. ”
06
Li Yue ☽
Zhang Xiaoxia is the epitome of countless traditional mothers.
She is limited in thought.
Cowardly character.
Conservative ideas.
Live to the fullest.
But he did everything he could to support his family.
Give everything you can willingly.
Especially for their own children.
As long as you want, as long as she has.
She had no reservations.
Such a mother, she may not be progressive enough, chic enough, and not wise enough.
But with all his might, he gave his children happiness and strength.
So we really have no reason to dislike her for being cowardly and incompetent, and she can't get out of the cage of old ideas.
Only love her well and give her happiness and confidence.
Let her know that this life, for this child, is worth it.
And ourselves, as women of the new age.
We should also rejoice.
We have more opportunities to renew our thinking.
With more strength, go and get out of trouble.
We are no longer bound by the identities of wives, mothers, and daughters.
To a certain extent, you can live your ideal self.
Then, in a stronger and clearer way, it will become the child's confidence and backing.
This is the luck of our new generation of women.
It should also be our life's perseverance.
Light up [Like] + [Watching], I hope that all mothers in the world are happy and safe.
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About the Author
The author of this article is Li Yue. A popular writer, a neo-feminist, and a craftsman who writes solidly. With reason and wisdom to accompany the growth of thousands of readers. The new book "Living Soberly" is selling well on the Internet.
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